Poor Jose Cuervo spent the morning building Henry Hamilton a canned malt liquor memorial just outside his Key West condo’s door. He didn’t want to be outdone by the Johnsons tribute to Ulysses out in Miami, Florida.
The dearly departed Hamilton will be missed, I guess, by someone who isn’t me. Or Captain Morgan. He finally found a way to get the voices in his head to shut up permanently. Evidently, they were telling him he should not have to live with President Obama in the White House. So he gave his partner, Michael Cossey, a heads up: “If Barack gets re-elected, I’m not going to be around.”
Shortly after election day, he was found dead with the words “Fuck Obama” scribbled on his will in crayon and two empty prescription bottles--- one for Xanax and one for Seroquel at his side. These drugs are used to treat anxiety and schizophrenia.
Now this story makes sense. The drugs explain Hamilton’s actions. Schizophrenia is a mental disorder characterized by a breakdown in thought processes, auditory hallucinations, paranoia, and bizarre delusions. It is often accompanied by anxiety disorders. Clearly Hamilton was too far gone in his mental illness to understand that there will be another election in four years that is GUARANTEED not to include Obama on the ticket.
I guess his partner was lucky that he did not get run down by Hamilton’s car like Daniel Solomon out in Arizona. His wife, Holly, chimped out when she found out that he did not go to the polls to vote for Mitt Romney.
Hamilton really should have hung around. He could have gone to the revival, er, seminar held by a group of Georgia state legislators in which they discussed the mind control program being wielded by the Obama administration. Seriously.