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"You're doing it again."

Mumbo jerks his head away from the window and looks at Grian. "No I'm not!"

"You definitely are," Scar says beside him.

"You've been doing it from eight thirty to nine fifteen every day for a week," Grian says, "and I STILL can't figure out what it is that's so fascinating about an autoshop. Mumbo you're a theoretical redstone engineer, if you want to oggle cars there's about a billion governments that would throw some at you to get your attention."

"Oh, it's not the cars," Scar says, cementing Mumbo's opinion that while he is a different kind of menace than Grian, he is still very much a menace.

"N-now see here-"

"Oooohhhh," Grian crows, "is it not?" He's smelled blood in the water and Mumbo clutches his coffee. "It's nothing like that!" He protests.

"Far side of the yard," Scar tells Grian, who sits up a little in his seat. "Working on the sedan. Big, black hair, blue eyes, black denim vest."

"Denim? And here I thought you had taste Mumoh my GOD."

"I know right?" Scar says with delight as Mumbo sinks a little further in his seat.

"Scar, with the understanding that you are right beside me and are the light of my life, partner in crime and eternal tormentor of my soul, that posterior belongs in a museum and so do those arms."

"We are 100% in agreement, pesky bird of my heart. So, Mumbo, what's his naaammee?"

Mumbo knows he could circumvent this conversation. He could take his coffee and run. He could ignore them both. He could go order even more coffee and delay the inevitable.

Instead, as ever cornered by his friends' overwhelming personalities, he caves.

"His name is Skizz," Mumbo says. "You remember I had that flat out of town last week? This is the shop they called."

"And your Knight in Shining Towtruck appeared!" Scar says with a broad grin. "He must be worth something, a hind end that nice wouldn't be enough to persuade our pickiest of engineers."

"He's- very nice," Mumbo admits, passing his coffee cup back and forth. "And smart. And a bit- brash."

"Did he ruffle your apron?" Scar asks.

"No! No he was a perfect gentleman."

"But you got the vibe," Grian probes. Mumbo tugs at his collar. "Maybe? A little? He was just so- so kind and enthusiastic and I couldn't tell if he was flirting or if that's just how he is."

Across the way, Mumbo's Knight in Shining Towtruck closes the top of the sedan and wipes his hands on a rag. Grian can get a better look at him now and the picture gets even better. Scar had been right, he has very blue eyes, and weirdly lots of scars. He says something to someone Grian can't see and gets in the sedan's front seat, firing up the engine.

The megawatt smile he gives is clearly visible even from the cafe, and Grian can almost hear his shout of triumph.

"And what are you doing about it besides coming to the cafe across the street for coffee every day?" Scar needles Mumbo.

"I'm- strategizing!"

"You do any more strategizing you'll end up reoganizing your sock drawer or blowing up another lab," Grian says, eyes not moving from the autoshop. "Besides, we have a next step for you. Look."

"Grian what- ...is that Impulse?"

"Oh no Impulse is hugging Mumbo's man!" Scar says in disappointment.

"Scar," Grian says, "Didn't Impulse mention he was happy with this assignment because it meant he got to spend more time with his best friend in the world?"

"Oh yeah he was able to get housing near him and his shop so he could walk there! I don't remember the name, darn it. Rizz? Lizz?"

Grian grins at Mumbo, who has gone pale as death.

"You know," he says to his colleague, "I think we should meet Impulse's bestie. Don't you, Mumbo?"

"It only seems polite," Mumbo squeaks, and drains the rest of his coffee in one long scorching gulp.

Oh dear.

Oh no.

#idk man it grabbed me by the throat #skimbo #which I have decided this is called #because mumbleman is funny but u know a little ridiculous #dapper duo #hermitcraft #modernish au idk #look I needed them oggling skizz's ass okay #grian #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #skizzleman #impulsesv #scarian #mumskizz #or so someone has told me #I like skimbo better but

rarepairs i've discovered through Wild Life so far:

Scar/Jimmy. just. just the worst possible pairing. they are a disaster relationship. every single evening both of them talk about what near-death experience they had that week. Grian wants them to break up so bad (light-hearted). they are a monstrosity of a couple

Gem/Etho. something something pathetic man trying to be cool x badass woman who is very sweet. i don't ship Gem with anyone personally but i support this

Grian/Mumbo/Skizz. evil polycule. who let them do this

Mumbo/Skizz. their dynamics... their personalities... the embodiment of "he asked for no pickles". Mumbo and his guard dog (who looks tough and scary but is actually a pug in disguise). Skizz and his wet sock of a boyfriend. them

#i am obsessed with these #how do i even tag this #wild life smp #wild life #life series #third life series #sub one club #dapper duo #grumbizz #mumbizz #getho #<- ????!#scaridarity #hermitshipping #trafficshipping #traffic smp #trafficshipblr #chipper og posts #short ideas