#dating.

[krelboyne2]

do you ship dabney and lloyd. pls im so normal for them so very normal for them (year long brainrot on them, specifically the cliques episode)

i LOVE dabney x lloyd SO much and i am OBSESSED with the fact that you're obsessed with one specific episode

dabney x lloyd is incredibly based and borderline canon i think

[cowboyjen68]

Hey Jen, as a chivalrous, old school butch who treats the femmes in her life with respect, do you think chivalry is dead amongst younger butches? The way you talk about femmes like they’re beautiful and deserve to be cherished, I don’t see that at all on dating apps unfortunately. So many of these butches on lesbian dating apps are fuckboys. Like they’re not interested in you unless it pertains to sex and they’re so unromantic..maybe I’m just old fashioned but I would like to be treated with respect and not just a girl you smoke up, sleep with, and forget to text back after your night together. Sorry I’m just frustrated by the dating scene in my city..like just because they’re hot and handsome they think they can treat girls poorly..

I absolutely do not think chivalry is dead among young butches, nor is respect for women whether they find them attractive or not. I have many younger butch friends in my circles and, while not all are attracted to femmes, many show nothing but awe for women and how wonderful they are.

Please  allow me to wax poetic about butches and femmes. While being butch does not form our personality, one of the most common things we share across generations is the enjoyment it brings to us when we can help a femme, make life easier for them, make the smile.  Butches know women can open the door and reach the thing and do all the things we do, but it is so wonderful when they allow us the pleasure of doing even little things to treat them in a special way. To bring a smile to their face. It bring happiness to our hearts. 

When a femme feels safe in our presense, and allows her vulnerablilities to show because she trusts us butches feel honored. 

This all being said, on line dating is weird because butches, in my day,  were prone to preening and strutting in bars to get the attention of the femmes or to let the other butches know.. back off. Even me with my out going personality could be know to swagger a bit and “puff up”.  Now, looking back it was quite the endearing ritual and how ANY of us got a woman’s attention or phone number is beyond me.  On line perhaps is the same. Butches trying to fulfull some preconceived notion  of being the strongest, the most aloof, the most “dominant” in hopes of standing out among the crowd. In the end, they just end up being the crowd. The same as everyone else. 

Sadly I do know that many butches (and this is cross generational) don’t hold the same reverence of women that I do. Frankly, that breaks my heart. Women, femmes, deserve to be uplifted and supported. Treated with love and respect and kindness. Being handsome or hot or whatever is not an excuse to be flippant with another human’s feelings. I don’t know why the disconnect and disappointing behavior is so prevelant in the butches you meet. I am so sorry. I can only reassure you, there are lots of butches your age looking for a femme to form an equal and loving relationship with where mutual passion and respect are the norm. 

I hope you can get to a woman’s festival or to a women’s space where the butches are your age but “old school” in their behavior. Don’t give up. They exist. 

For me being butch is as much  about the romance and chivalry and making sure a woman feels safe when I am around as it is the way I am perceived. Take heart. You will find the right one. Do NOT settle. 

[hellyeahscarleteen]

Here are some things that might help: The LGBQT community's visibility is increasing all the time. So are the number of people who are out and proud about their identities, building community for each other. You might not instantly find your people right when you set foot on campus, but you will in time. They are out there, and some of them are probably lying awake right now wondering if they are destined to be alone forever. I don't advise hiding from your fears, but acknowledging them and letting them know that they're not driving can be a powerful coping tool. If you snap awake in the middle of the night and feel stricken with dread, try getting out of bed, grabbing a book, and reading for a while. If you're doing homework and you keep getting distracted by thoughts of spinsterhood, try taking a walk, or picking up a craft project. Acknowledge that your fears are there, and move through them. Something else I really love doing: Consuming some queer media. There's a ton of amazing lesbian-centric YA out there, like the work of Malinda Lo (Ash is one of my all-time faves). There's also Far From You (Tess Sharpe), Everything Leads to You (Nina LaCour), Not Otherwise Specified (Hannah Moskowitz), and if that's not enough for you, here's a list of 100 lesbian and bi books. And while lesbians aren't as well represented as they should be on television, there are a lot of webseries with vibrant, amazing lesbian characters. It's a way to feel more connected to the larger lesbian community, no matter where you are and how you're feeling.

How do I cope with being a lesbian and single?

[biyaself]

Is it fucked up that the thought of starting the process of getting to know someone to maybe date or get into a relationship with is just not appealing to me right now? I feel like I initially like the thought of dating or wanting to know someone, but when I actually get anywhere close to it, I feel like I just don’t have it in me right now. The amount of energy/effort I would expend into starting over with a new person is so daunting at the moment. Like that’s a lot of fucking work, and I just don’t want to do it at this juncture in my life. It’s exhausting.

[drinkitwithtbz]

♕︎ 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒔.

༄ 𝑯𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒋𝒂𝒆: With Sunwoo.

༄ 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒘𝒐𝒐: With Hyunjae.

༄ 𝑬𝒓𝒊𝒄: With Hakyeon & Younghoon.

༄ 𝑯𝒂𝒌𝒏𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏: With Younghoon & Eric.

༄ 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏: With Eric & Haknyeon.

[drinkitwithtbz]

♕︎ 𝑫𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈.

༄ 𝑯𝒚𝒖𝒏𝒋𝒂𝒆: @grishawitches Yeeun and @runawayscb Taeyang🌹.

༄ 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒘𝒐𝒐: @interviewwithtbz Changmin 🥀. Mono.

༄ 𝑬𝒓𝒊𝒄: Single. Poly.

༄ 𝑯𝒂𝒌𝒏𝒚𝒆𝒐𝒏: @grishawitches Eunbin 🌺. Poly.

༄ 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏: @interviewwithtbz Juyeon 🌻. Poly.

[the-acid-pear]

My dad just basically told his gf she is Tokyo kinnie lmao