CG: YOU’RE A GOD.
CG: AND I AM NOT.
CG: IT WAS FATED TO HAPPEN, I GUESS. WITH THE UNCONCEIVABLE HORSESHIT THAT IS THE ALPHA TIMELINE EXISTING AND ALL.
CG: GOD EVEN NOW IT SEEMS LIKE WE’RE STILL TRAPPED IN THAT ENTROPIC GAME. SOMETIMES, I FEEL LIKE IT’S NOT OVER. THAT IT NEVER WAS OVER. THAT EVERYTHING IS JUST SOME BLOATED-OUT JOKE.
CG: HEY, YOU ASKED FOR VICTORY? YOU WISH TO LIVE FREELY, WITHOUT BEING BURDENED WITH THE CONSTANT FEAR OF BEING DRIVEN THROUGH A SKEWER, AND PARADED AROUND THE INCIPISPHERE AS YOUR CO-PLAYERS CAN ONLY GAZE HELPLESSLY AT YOUR MANGLED CORPSE?
CG: LAUGHABLE. THIS BULLSHIT WE CALL A ‘VICTORY’ IS ESSENTIALLY JUST A COSMIC ‘FUCK YOU’ HIDDEN BEHIND A FACADE OF HAPPY BRAINLESS CARAPACES AND OVERSIZED CAN ACCOMMODATIONS. BUT HEY, AT LEAST WE GET FANCY TIARAS!
CG: NOW, I COULD GO ON RAMBLING ABOUT THE PHILOSOPHICAL IMPLICATIONS OF THIS GAME, ALLOWING FOR MY LIPS TO RIVAL THE SPEWING VELOCITY OF THE SHIT CANNON BELONGING TO AN UNFORTUNATE SOUL WITH CHRONIC DIARRHEA, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO.
CG: THAT ISN’T WHY I’M HERE.
CG: YOU KNOW, AS MUCH AS IT DRIVES THE ACIDIC CONTENTS WITHIN THE FATHOMLESS DEPTHS OF MY STOMACH TO DANCE SPASTICALLY, THE BRAIN-NUMBING CONCEPT OF THE HEMOSPECTRUM DID HAVE ITS PERKS. IT SEPARATED US FROM ONE ANOTHER, FORCING US TO CONFIDE WITH MEMBERS OF OUR OWN BLOOD CASTE.
CG: IT MADE THINGS EASIER, IN A SICK, TWISTED SENSE.
CG: YEAH, I KNOW I’VE NEVER ACTUALLY HAD A CASTE TO BELONG TO. I DIDN’T HAVE ANY OF THAT, WHICH I GUESS IS WHY THINGS HAVE BEEN HARDER FOR ME. PRETTY MUCH EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE THAT MY THINKPAN CAN CONJURE HAS BEEN RIDDLED WITH HARDSHIP BECAUSE OF MY UNINTENTIONAL NON-CONFORMITY TO ALTERNIA’S BACKWARD-ASS CASTE SYSTEM.
CG: Â I BET PARADOX SPACE IS LAUGHING ITS INSUFFERABLE ASS OFF, AS IF IT'S SAYING, THROUGH GIGGLES, “HEY, LET’S SCREW AROUND WITH THIS DUMB BASTARD FOR A BIT. CAN’T GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO WIND DOWN, NOW CAN WE?”
CG: ...
CG: FUCK, ENOUGH OF THIS SELF-DEPRECATING SHIT! LOOK, WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS THAT DEATHS WERE EASIER TO HANDLE. PEOPLE THAT YOU ASSOCIATED YOURSELF WITH LIVED FOR ABOUT AS LONG AS YOU DID, WHICH WAS ALMOST GUARANTEED WHEN YOU AND YOUR ASSOCIATES SHARE THE SAME BLOOD COLOUR.
CG: THAT... ISN’T INCLUDING MY SPECIES’ UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH CULLING PRETTY MUCH ANYONE FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER.
CG: THE POINT THAT I AM SO UNGRACEFULLY ATTEMPTING TO UNRAVEL IS THAT... WELL, I AM NOT A GOD.
CG: YOU ARE, BUT I’M NOT.
CG: YOU PROBABLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT TOO. I DON’T WANT TO ADMIT IT, BUT SOON ENOUGH I’LL BE GONE. JUST A MEANINGLESS BLIP IN YOUR RADAR (DID YOU GUYS EVEN HAVE RADARS? I STILL CANNOT GRASP HOW UNFATHOMABLY PRIMITIVE YOUR HUMAN TECHNOLOGY WAS).
CG: ANYWAY, IT HADN’T REALLY OCCURRED TO ME HOW MUCH I FEAR DEATH. THE IDEA OF IT NEVER REALLY CAME TO MIND. I GUESS HAVING BEEN BROUGHT UP IN A CULTURE THAT THRIVES ON VIOLENCE AND DOMINANCE KIND OF NUMBED ME TO THE CONCEPT.
CG: I’M SCARED, DAVE. I KNOW IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN FOR A WHILE. BUT FOR YOU, AN IMMORTAL TIME LORD, IT’LL BE SOON. YOU’LL GET A CHANCE TO BE A HERO, THOUGH ADMITTEDLY YOU ALREADY ARE. YOU’LL GET ALL THE TIME TO CHANGE YOURSELF, AND BECOME A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF. AS YOU WOULD SO ELOQUENTLY MENTION EVERY SINGLE TIME WE’D BURN OUR VISION SOCKETS WITH ROM-COMS (WHICH FOR YOUR INFORMATION IS THE GREATEST MOVIE GENRE TO EVER EXIST. I KNOW YOU LIKE THEM. I KNOW YOU DO. I’M ONTO YOU, STRIDER). FUCK, AS I WAS SAYING, YOU WOULD SAY “karkat that is so goddamn corny,” AS YOU INSULT THE MASTERPIECE THAT IS EVERY DANE COOK MOVIE EVER.
CG: AND YES, AS ‘CORNY’ AS IT IS, YOU HAVE TIME TO PUPATE INTO A BETTER YOU. YOU GET THE CHANCE TO REDEEM YOURSELF. YOU ARE MY HERO, AND YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF THE CHANCE TO BE SOMEONE ELSE’S HERO.
CG: LOOK, I HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING REMARKABLE IN THE TIME THAT I’VE LIVED. THERE ARE MANY THINGS I REGRET. MANY THINGS I WISH I COULD HAVE DONE - AND NOT DONE. LIKE HOW I KEEP FINDING MYSELF RUNNING ASS-BACKWARDS INTO SOMETHING WITH A GREATER PROBABILITY OF ENDANGERING EVERYONE I CARE ABOUT THAN NOT. BUT THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT NOW.
CG: ...
CG: FUCK, I’M WASTING MY TIME. OKAY, HERE IT IS:
CG: DAVE, I LOVE YOU, AND I REGRET NOT HAVING TOLD YOU SOONER.
@davekatweek Day 4: Sadstuck. :(
Immortality sucks.
I hope this was good enough. Taken four hours and it’s 1 in the morning. what am I doing?
