have you ever gone to a day program and do you recommend them
Yes! I've been to two. They didn't work for me personally, because they were very understimulating from an activities perspective, and overstimulating from a sensory perspective.
At my first day program, we mostly hung out in a dirty basement playing uno or colouring in torn colouring books with broken crayons and dried out markers. I have a college degree.
At the second one, we had group outings, but they were always to Walmart or a basically abandoned mall.
Because everyone was grouped together, we had people with very high needs mixed with those with lower needs. Sometimes they would scream or invade our personal space, and that really wound me up, and I'd have meltdowns.
I also need 1:1 support for group outings, because I get easily overwhelmed and agitated by an environment's sensory experiences, and if something interesting catches my eye, I'll get distracted and wander off from the group without realising. The day programs didn't have enough staff to provide me with a 1:1, so I struggled.
Because I'm "twice exceptional" meaning I'm academically gifted while also having extreme difficulty with day to day functioning in normal life, there was never anyone else like me in the groups; they all had some degree of intellectual disability, while also not needing as much support with sensory things or in the community. That made it hard to make friends.
Every day program is different, and if you think one might be a good fit, there's no harm in trying it.
These days I get a service called supported community connector (SCC) instead, which is a single staff member who works with just me to do community activities. I also attend a small group that does community outings, and get 1:1 support within the group. That works much better for me!