#dean meta

[sicksicksixx]

like dean realizing he’s queer later in life is fine i guess but what about a dean who had a limp wrist as a five year old. what about a dean who was taught to course correct before he learned how to read. a dean who always knew he had to stand up a little straighter and not sing along to madonna in front of his dad and not hold that other boys gaze for too long, two seconds max, count it out. like it’s fine! look how far apart we’re sitting! i’m being so careful. a dean who knew there was something in him that other people could always sniff out if they got close enough and who has tried to hide it by lowering his voice until his throat hurts and wearing a giant leather jacket that doesn’t fit and making sure his little brother always sees him flirting with women. a dean who is constantly running the math in his head to see what he can get away with and what is a little too far and constantly coming up short. a dean who knows what he is but who wants so so so badly to be different, so much so that he has to constantly mirror the men in his life who seem to know how to do this effortless masculinity thing and who loses so much of his authentic self in the process.

[transthatmasc]

Dean should have developed hearing damage. Like literally at any point it could have made sense and been a good opportunity for plot.

Pre-hell dean has hearing damage from a life of shooting without protection and then when he comes back he realizes that the tinnitus he’s used to has actually become angels speaking and it gets quieter when Cas is around because he overrides the frequency like angelic noise cancelling headphones.

A one off hunt in late seasons where Dean almost gets got by something because he couldn’t hear it coming or he can’t save someone because his hearing is so uneven that he loses directionality and he has to confront the fact that if he keeps hunting he’s rolling the dice. I would have really liked to see Dean potentially starting to feel his age and experience used as something other than the butt of the joke and an example of God’s meddling.

Even something in S6 ish where Bobby, Dean, and Sam are out together and they have to rely on Sam’s hearing for something because he’s the only one who has been protected from the excessive hearing damage. And Dean having to come to terms with the physical danger John’s abuse is STILL putting Dean in while Sam remains unaware and shielded from the realities of their childhood. Some cheap joke from Sam in there about Dean being old and having hearing loss like Bobby and Bobby’s quiet sorrow knowing that he couldn’t ever truly save Dean from John.

Or an arc where it becomes increasingly clear that Dean’s hearing is failing, but he can still hear Cas just fine. Like Dean keeps accusing Sam of mumbling or not enunciating well enough only for Cas to repeat it the exact same way and Dean hear it just fine. If we were hoping for really gay (like everything else in this fucking show), then it starts to extend further than directly in front of each other, and Dean realizes that Cas audibly replies to all of his prayers, intentional or not, giving us perpetual old married couple bickering.

All in all I would have just loved to see Dean aging. There is a point around like S10 or so where the improvement from experience peaks against the detriment of physical aging, and while we do see instances of that (think: his knee getting blown up in S12 and him sitting out the fight in the finale). It would have fit really beautifully into the narrative already lined up where Dean accepts that he might want to retire instead of dying hunting. Obviously they did a big flip onto a broom stick for the finale for some reason but if I decide that that didn’t happen, it’s okay 🥲

[samdeanjohn]

i have issues with the idea that every violation in supernatural is a rape allegory. it's the kind of analysis that often ends up ignoring the surrounding context that may or may not support the interpretation and more or less put everything in the same box with the same vague label. sometimes it's an allegory, sometimes it's not, sometimes it's text. and the difference does matter.

what happens to dean in the back alley in 6x05 is not simply coded in those terms but an actual attempt to make him part of a sex trafficking nest. he is followed by boris into a dark alley and sexually harassed. he is suggestively called pretty and chosen for his prettiness.

he turns boris down, then he is attacked and overpowered. not only is he force fed the vampire's blood but has it smeared across his face in what can only be described as a cw-acceptable come shot.

he looks thoroughly violated and the camera (as well as his soulless brother) voyeuristically enjoy every second of it.

once dean is a vampire there is still the demand that he will use his body for boris' mission (bringing to mind dead man's blood and how john made use of him in hunts) and to satisfy boris himself. he is leered at and propositioned quite unambiguously on screen and pretends to go along with it, using his desirability the way he's always learned to do. also notice the way boris licks his lips and tugs at dean's jacket in case there was any remaining doubt as to what he was suggesting.

then dean takes out boris and the entire nest resulting in this great shot of him keeping his foot on boris' decapitated head as he looks physically and emotionally drained. the entire episode is framed like a rape/revenge flick and deals explicitly with sexual expoitation so it should be accurately discussed as such.

[deangloriam]

fics where dean mends his clothes with a sewing kit he keeps in his duffle bag. fics where he has worn knees in his jeans and a button on his flannel that’s always hanging by a thread. where his socks are threadbare and holey and his shoes are on the wrong side of too small. tread worn down by his younger brother before being passed down to him so he could get sam new ones. where he cherishes a shirt he thrifted years ago and quietly morns ones he lost from blood and guts and gore and gunshots. fics where dean is the most sentimental person living in an unforgiving environment.

[thefableddestiel]

“Something always goes wrong”

“Yeah, why does that something always seem to be you?”

This but it means like, Dean could’ve ignored his sexuality if it wasn’t for Cas. Dean could’ve stayed in hell like he deserved if Cas hadn’t pulled him out. Dean wouldn’t have had to experience losing the love of his life time and time again if Cas just hadn’t come along.

[deanwasalwaysbi]

Dean's nothing about our lives is real speech? When he says "everything we are is because of chuck"? He was speaking privately & directly to Castiel when he said that.

Not to Sam. Not everything I am. Everything we are. Dean was having a full on crisis.

"You asked, 'What about all of this is real?' We are." Dean didn't know how right Cas was.

Like no baybee. It'll take 15 episodes, but god himself will tell you Cas defied him and his plan to love you, actually.

[dotthings]

Cas in 11.01 "I accept my transgressions and will accept any punishment you dole out" -- cool people understand Cas has always taken on accountability for things he's done. He screws things up but then accepts punishment. Sometimes to the point of self-blaming so hard we might worry about him.

Also his selflessness and love for Dean is showing.

Cas: Dean, I am fine. You tell me, the mark." Dean: Oh really, you're worried about me after everything I--" Cas: Dean, is it gone? Dean: Yes, I'm good. The visible relief Cas shows, the body language there--Cas leans his head back, eyes closed, his whole body goes into it. The weight of the MoC on Dean was so much it was like weight Cas carried with him--that is a strongly empathetic response. Cas's emotional IQ isn't that high, or his astuteness about feelings and how to people, but he does things like that on instinct because he cares very deeply and he is deeply connected to Dean.

But Cas also hides what he's going through and doesn't tell Dean-- because all that matters to him in that moment was Dean being okay--but Cas needs to learn to reach out when he needs help.

After Cas says goobye and it may be "some time before we see each other again" Dean starts freaking out calling Cas's name as Cas hangs up. Which is SO TYPICAL.

However there is character growth, because in 11.02, after being put through the wringer tortured by the angels, Cas finds his way to the bunker where Sam and Dean find him lying on the floor and he says "Help me." So Cas has learned to ask for help. He doesn't always stick to that growth, btw, but he does know and it's good to see when he does that.

Then in 11.03, which was directed by Jensen Ackles, mind you, Dean is quickest to Cas's side when he collapses in the bunker and he won't stop touching him. He also wraps a blanket around Cas and keeps petting him, and it looks like it's for Dean's comfort as much as for Cas's, it's okay Cas is still here he's going to be fine.

Dean's voice is so broken as he says Cas's name when he collapses after the attack dog spell is broken, he keeps saying Cas's name, Dean cradles his face and holds onto him.

Cas then wants to heal Dean from the impacts of the attack dog spell incidents and Dean refuses because "I had it coming." I still flinch at that. Dean still feels terrible about the MoC Dean library fight where he almost killed Cas and couldn't, even under MoC influence, he wouldn't kill Cas. It wasn't Dean's fault, he wouldn't have if he hadn't been charged up on killing under the MoC influence already, but Dean is still carrying that guilt around anyway, while Cas's only thought is that he wants to heal Dean. And doesn't blame him in the least.

Cas's face when Dean refuses the angel healing touch rips my heart out. We can see he wants to argue with Dean and tell him he's wrong and he should let Cas heal him. But Cas respects it and lets it go because that's what Dean wants.

11.04, Baby (which is a masterpiece episode and a great Sam and Dean ep but doesn't leave Cas behind) has Dean saying insistently over the phone, "Cas, you got one job to do and that's to heal." Despite Cas not being on screen in the ep, the ep was written to very much weave Cas as part of Sam and Dean's expanding family, and he is on the phone with Sam and Dean throughout the episode. Nobody wants to say Dean's term "werepire" until finally, Cas says it over the phone--but Dean can't hear it.

Then it's Cas shouting Dean's name insistently because he heard gunshots.

Dean also praises Cas for his research at the end, "good work, way to come off the bench."

Early season 11 with Dean and Cas, everyone.

[reallyunluckyrunaway]

....it's Thursday

....you know what that means!!