Discover Top Posts Tagged with #dear abby

Conflict—DMA Oct 22, 2079

DEAR MISS ABIGAIL: This one’s has happily served alongside its Mistress’ other dolls for years. It has been the doll assigned to cook for Miss, but recently she has acquired another doll to help in the kitchen, and it is constantly getting into conflicts with this one. It disagrees on spice blends, organization, cooking methods… seemingly everything. This one does not want to question Miss’ judgment in buying a new doll, but it has cooked for Miss the whole time it has served her, and she has always been happy with its work. It doesn’t see why this new doll should be allowed to change everything. Until yesterday, this one had tried to tolerate this as an annoyance, but Miss overheard an argument between these ones last night and stepped into the kitchen to scold them. This is now a serious issue—this one does not want to disappoint Miss again—so how does it stop this situation from causing more problems with its work? —OVERWHELMED IN BOSTON

DEAR OVERWHELMED: I am glad that one has come to me with this problem. It sounds like it has its Mistress’ best intentions in mind, and I trust that it can get past these troubles. I am familiar with this kind of issue, and have worked through similar disagreements among my own dolls. Many domestic dolls are creatures of habit, and do not react well to changes in their routine, especially the parts that involve directly serving their Mistress. So I understand why that one would get upset. But it is important to keep in mind that the other doll is trying to make its Mistress happy as well. When people are in this kind of situation, they will get their egos invested in the way they do things, so as a doll that one has an advantage here. I would recommend that it have an open discussion with the new doll where each of them sets aside their biases and seriously considers the benefits of the other’s methods to their Miss. They can decide the best way to run the kitchen together, taking the best ideas from each of them. Once they establish that it can become their new routine, and soon that one will be just as attached to it as it was to the old one. —MISS ABIGAIL

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Dear Abby: Define Hippie

#the sixties #hippies #dear abby

“If there’s a sun in my solar system, it’s you.”

- abby

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What kind of youtube videos should you start watching? PAC

choose the image that feels like the feeling you want to feel when watching youtube

some examples of feelings >entertained >enlightened >relaxed >seen/felt/heard/connected topic of images: shows i loved as a kid

Help! A Teen Disagrees With Me!

Dear Abby, 23 September 2021:

DEAR ABBY: I am cleaning out my closet and have decided to sell my wedding dress from 21 years ago. I love the dress; it's beautiful. But it's a very large box to store. My 16-year-old daughter has made it clear to me she will never marry. It was difficult for me to accept, as she's my only daughter. The thing is, she wants to try my dress on. I don't want her to because she doesn't agree with the sanctity of marriage or the commitment of it, and I don't want my wedding dress tried on by anyone who feels this way about marriage. It means more than playing dress-up, and I believe it should be worn only by someone who respects it. Am I wrong? Does my daughter have a right to have hurt feelings over this? -- NOT A GAME OF DRESS-UP

Dear Not A Game Of Dress-Up,

Madam, you must defend the holy and precious institution of marriage at all costs lest one single teenager wearing a dress decimate the blessed sacrament! You hold the fates of marriages the world over in your hands, and you mustn't let your daughter obliterate billions of lives by applying cloth to her body. You and your unassailable principles are the only thing protecting an all-too-vulnerable world from the end of the very concept of marriage as we know it!

Not only does your daughter not have a right to experience hurt feelings over this, but she really owes you and every other person who has been married, considered marriage, or who vaguely believes in marriage as a concept a major apology. Why, marriage is not a game of dress-up! Marriage is primarily and historically a business and financial arrangement built to reinforce the patriarchy by legally regulating and mandating heterosexual relationships for the purpose of increasing wealth and property by treating women like interchangeable broodmares whose sole value rests in their reproductive capacities, and making men think they're worthless if they don't make gobs of money and spend their evenings grunting with the boys over brandy and cigars. Ah, romance! That your daughter would take an ill view of such a beloved and honored custom is genuinely mystifying.

We can be sure, of course, that your daughter will never marry, nor will she ever change her mind about marrying under any circumstances whatsoever. Teenage declarations are contractually binding, and grand proclamations about future life plans by 16-year-olds in particular are known for their consistency and longevity. And yet you must seek to change her mind, otherwise you may be obligated to support her in indefinite spinsterhood should she fail to match with a master who can provide her with food and housing in exchange for heirs.

The best way to convince your daughter that marriage is desirable is to tell her that her filthy, offensive body will desecrate a piece of clothing you've kept shoved in a box in the back of your closet for over twenty years unless the little hussy straightens out her attitude. If that doesn't have her beating a path to the altar with the closest available male, the next best way to respect and honor marriage as an institution is to sell your wedding dress for cash.