Second post in as-of-yet-undetermined number of "When, Why, If..." exercise. This one is on the self. If you haven't read the book, I can't guarantee that all of the questions (and answers) will make much sense. There's a thing about mego/antimego that I'm not really going to explain - It's better if you read her words for yourself. :-)
On the Mego-AntiMego Continuum, I feel that I usually act like ...
I don't feel like there is a 'usually' kind of answer for this. There are circumstances where I feel like I'm very AntiMego, such as for my child. But there are other things that I'm very self-interest motivated by, and thus fall further on the Mego side. Somewhere between a 3-7 on most things, I guess. Depending on the circumstances. There are so many factors to consider that it's hard to just say, I'm always a three, or always a seven. Even setting aside the particular circumstances, my reaction or role might be different depending on how stressed I am, how my week has gone, etc... I guess the best answer for that would be that I am generally a three-ish (Mego), with the caveat that by 'self-interest' I tend to include my nearest and dearest in my 'self-interests'. So when I want something for my child, for instance, I may sacrifice or whatever, but I would still define it as self-interest, because I wouldn't necessarily make the same sacrifices for another child or person. The people who are closest to me are part and parcel to myself. If that makes sense.
I want to change/don't want to change because ...
At some point, I would like to have more time/energy/ability to help people outside of my inner circle. Right now, there's so much on my plate that, although I would love to (for instance), volunteer for a charity, or commit to some position or activity, I find it difficult to make the time or sacrifices to actually get out there and do it. In that regard, my Self-Interest version of Mego comes in to play. I make time for the people I know and care about, but am less willing to make the time to devote to others outside of that circle.
An Honest balanced self image would include ...
That I can be selfish, but I can also be generous. I think that I'm kind, most of the time, but I can be hard and unforgiving sometimes, too. I can be quick to anger or hurt, slow to forgive or apologize. I am generally a positive person. I nearly never intentionally mean to offend or hurt anyone, and I'm learning to be better at not doing it unintentionally either. (It's a work in progress.) I tend to form strong bonds with a few select people, but I enjoy people over all as a general rule.
Write a list of your best character traits; Those things that you would love if you found them in someone else. Make sure there are at least ten things on your list.
Chatty (without being obnoxiously so - I have a hard time with really quiet or reserved people)
Write a list of things about yourself that you would like to change. Put no more than three things on your list.
There are several exercises following these questions that are to be done over the following week
If you pegged yourself at 3 or below, do something for someone else that can not possibly help you, every single day this week. If you are 7 or above, do something for yourself that can not possibly help someone else, every single day this week. If you are between 3 and 7, decide which of these exercises you would get the most good out of and do that. Or do some of both!
See all the clerks, waitresses etc. that you encounter today as real people, with their own lives, and their own stories to tell. Really look at them Acknowledge them as people.
Treat everyone sharing the road with you today as if they were real people in cars of their own, with destinations as important to them as yours are to you. If someone cuts you off in traffic, say a prayer for their safety and that of everyone they encounter as they hurry to their goal.
Do something spectacularly nice for someone in your family, just to surprise them. If you rated yourself as an 8.5 or above, then the person in your family to "treat" is you!
I'll try to remember to report back on the last four in a week. In general, the first two I think, will be easy. The third one will be hard, and the fourth really hard. I already feel as if most of the time, I do nice things for others and for myself - if not daily, then frequently, and I do try to see clerks et al, as people (with varying degrees of success, dependent on how irritating they might behave), but like many people who live in urban/suburban areas, I do tend to get frustrated with other drivers, so I will try to make that my primary goal this week, and as far as doing something nice for someone in my family... well, my biggest problem with that is I'm drawing a complete blank on what to do, lol. I'm open to suggestions?