#denialisahellofadrug

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I was going to write this long post about this intergenerational domestic violence CPTSD (C stands for complex & I'm going to add CHRONIC bc even if it's not in our face everyday--for most Americans anyway-- it's right there bubbling under the surface) abusive relationship cycle this country (world) is in. Every ab-original experiences the same systemic hate. I'm just wondering if we're all seeing the same media cycle throw out 3 "#blackpeople were murdered by cops" stories & has us once again furious and/or depressed, numb, (all 3) etc. like our #ancestors before us. Every time I hear of 2 I'm waiting for the 3rd name while praying it doesn't come, but it inevitably does. Each & every time I think "These are just the names they report" like twisted Hunger Games news. Everybody's "playing" (many don't know it), but it's mainly OUR last breaths going viral for the world to see & consume. What about the hundreds if not thousands of un-hashtagged (2 gg's? Hyphen..no hyphen? 🤔) names we have no clue about bc there was no phone or operating body cam? And another thing... I'm tired of hearing/reading about "a few bad apples" when we all know (or ought to know) #systemicracism is a thing no matter how many times our ego brains want to keep us safely tucked in denial. Eventually, the bough breaks. #denialisahellofadrug . . #domesticterrorism #racism #whitesupremacy #AhmaudArbery #BreonnaTaylor #GeorgeFloyd . . From 2016. #THEYKNOW: "FBI warned of #whitesupremacists in #lawenforcement 10 years ago. Has anything changed?" . https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/fbi-white-supremacists-in-law-enforcement . "81 Percent of #NYPD's #SocialDistancing Summonses Were Issued to #Blacks and #Latinos: 'It's the New #StopandFrisk'" . https://www.newsweek.com/81-percent-nypds-social-distancing-summonses-were-issued-blacks-latinos-its-new-stop-frisk-1502841 . "Louisiana #cop fired for saying 'unfortunate' more black people didn't die of #coronavirus" . https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/louisiana-cop-fired-saying-unfortunate-more-black-people-didn-t-n1215451?cid=sm_npd_ms_fb_ma . . #tagtheartist . Reposted from @bobbylpatterson So much to say.....but for now.....Smh....#silentscream https://www.instagram.com/p/CAt_Df1Fgla/?igshid=ia838kg43sht

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Thurs 3.5.20 8;44am . So I reached out for help from a community service company I used to work for in my 20's (Humbling) They're coming to pick me up for my blood transfusion. It's weird. It'll be the 1st time in 20yrs I won't hear someone complaining about not wanting to be obligated in what needs to be done for my health or yelling/blaming anything about their life on me. I took it for so long bc deep down my core belief was "I'm a burden" so hearing it repeatedly kept me in that same shame & guilt cycle I subconsciously felt since before him & would do anything to please him as a result of it (It was never enough). But that's what master manipulators do (His family member's term for him way before I could see it...Had to feel the 🔥 1st) They can see your insecurities & magnify them over & over til it traps you in that negative belief about yourself. Doing things solely for myself feels weird & liberating at the same time. 🐌👣 . #dialecticalbehaviortherapy #Denialisahellofadrug #SickleCellWarrior #TransfusionDay . Reposted from @0vivaalafia0 Period. Fin. https://www.instagram.com/p/B9WqbMQnzj3/?igshid=nfi3fi5wm8o

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This made me so physically uncomfortable I had to stop, take a breath, & read again. SO. ON. POINT. #denialisahellofadrug . Reposted from @the.holistic.psychologist - No matter what your age, this part hurts. You’re doing the work. You’re placing #boundaries. You’re working to #reparent yourself. You feel good about your evolution. But then your #mother makes that comment. Your #father projects his insecurity. Maybe your #siblings chime in and it’s a #family affair. Most adults are highly emotionally immature, so your evolution will feel like a threat. They fear losing or changing #connection, and don’t know how to communicate that. So they react in ego tantrums without awareness. I get so many questions about #reparenting. About how it hurts their parents #feelings, or their mom is offended by it. So many people asking me how they can “get” their parents to get it. And I’m here with love telling you this reality: you can’t. People see what they want to see. They hear what they want to hear. This hurts our #innerchild because we are desperate to be seen by our parents. Few of us understand that in many ways, they themselves are #wounded #children. This is why they might say: “Oh you’re too good for us now?” “Look at you, holier than thou” “Boundaries are new age garbage” “I liked you before you found out about all this” “You’re selfish” “Guess I was just a terrible parent” See the child-like part of your parents. Know people who respond in this way have healing to do. Know that their lack of support comes from their own wounding and it’s nothing personal. This is the work. You are breaking cycles. You WILL be misunderstood. Do the work anyway. There’s #wisdom in this lack of understanding. #Confidence is waiting to meet you #selfhealers https://www.instagram.com/p/B3qtp5jHywx/?igshid=9zs5jqu51n51

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Your studies can't trump generations of experience! Y'all see his face?? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 #ancestorsbelike #reallybih? #letmeturnmyassbackaroundbeforeilosethisjob #denialisahellofadrug #justbreathe . Reposted from @blackwall.st (@get_regrann) - 😂😂 #realtalk 🤦🏽‍♂️ #Repost @embracingblackculture ・・・ 😂😂😂😂😩😩😭💀💀😳😩💀😭😭😩😂😭😭😭😭😩😩😩😂😂🤣🤣😂😩😭💀💀😩😂😂🤣😩💀😭 #blackwallst https://www.instagram.com/p/B2telkVn-Cy/?igshid=uvzoioe2hwvb

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8.4.19 3:33pm . I moved away from constantly posting about incidents like this for my own health. Every story depressed the hell outta me & shifting my focus was necessary for my own #selfcare. . We've been stating this for DECADES, but #denialisahellofadrug & it's time we #wakeup. Can't #heal when we refuse to acknowledge there's a problem. . #ElPaso #DaytonOhio #masshooting #policychange #racism #whitesupremacy . Reposted from @jessicaxalexandria (@get_regrann) - words are SO important and they speak volumes. It’s NOT just another mass #shooting... it’s #domesticterrorism and the terrorists have each been #whitesupremacists protected under the invisibility cloak of “mental health issues.” #thisisamerica #terrorism https://www.instagram.com/p/B0wQcJqn7Vq/?igshid=wj1swbyjqiio