#depresonalization

[dissociart]

by Stephen Herbers

[adhddude]

I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror and I didn’t recognize it as me at first

I’m completely sober and not on anything but without distractions I’ve had an adventure finding out what else is wrong with my head ((and finding stuff to talk to my psych about when I get the chance))

[system-of-a-feather]

what do you do if you think you have a dissociative disorder (probably not DID anyway) but don't have trauma? (or at least none that i know of) obviously for some disorders you don't need trauma but i have symptoms of disorders that need trauma and i had a roughly good childhood i think????

Well the simple answer to the first part is to talk to a professional therapist, preferably one that specializes / is trained in dissociative disorders and I would bring up this concern and thoughts regarding this to them to discuss and work through.

Regarding this as a whole, I would like to point out two maybe three details worth commenting on this?

1) Trauma is very relative and partially considering by the “roughly” before “good childhood” it could be likely that there was an aspect or two of your childhood that while not severely traumatizing, could have pushed and taught you at a young age to dissociate at least slightly and cut off emotions / detatch from it. Your childhood as a whole didn’t have to be horrible, or even necessarily the majority of it for dissociation to become a common coping mechanism established through childhood to cause a dissociative disorder. Yes, typically for DID and OSDD, the trauma tends to be worse and at a younger age, but dissociative disorders in general have more wiggle room. Parent’s were considerably cold? Religious conservatism causing repression of LGBT or so feelings? Moderate bullying? Social isolation? Abuse in middle and highschool? Stuff like that, while not inherently outright traumatic, can be really hurtful and damaging to a young child while growing up, their sense of identity, and can cause dissociative tendencies. 

Especially for the less severe dissociative disorders, you don’t need to have PTSD to have dissociation. Stuff like Derealization / Depersonalization Disorder are typically understood to be due to an individual learning at a young age that a good way to handle their emotions and stressful situations is to dissociate and by having such a coping mechanism be one of the best know and comfortable, it becomes a chronic issue.

2) When it comes to dissociation, especially in terms of any type that might result in memory loss such as dissociative amnesia, DID, or OSDD, you might not remember things that had happened that were traumatic or might not retain the emotional impact that certain events had happened, makign it easy to generalize your childhood as good when cut off parts (DID / OSDD or otherwise) might have been more effected. This isn’t to necessarily say this is the case, but I wouldn’t so quickly write off that something in your past might have not been the best.

3) Dissociation is a common aspect of a number of disorders other than PTSD, albeit they are typically related to trauma as well. Some examples being Borderline Personality Disorder and Acute Stress Disorder.

In the end, it is something you really do need to talk to a professional about since there is a lot of things it could be.

-Riku (Host)

[messymotherfcker]

I dunno if this is a dissociation/depersonalization thing or just a general dysphoria type thing related to BPD or trauma or bipolar or some other thing or what but I always have these moments where I suddenly realize things about myself like that I've grown up and I'm like "oh. I'm supporting myself and paying bills" and it's just such a big realization. My personal favourite is reading things I wrote in the past. Like "whoa. Am I really that smart? Well written? Are you sure that was me?" And I just feel like there's a disconnect somewhere. Like I know my inner world and I know my outer world but they don't add up and I don't understand how I got to be this way or what "this way" even is. Who is this person who's life I'm living? Who am I?

[late-dawnsandearly-sunsets]

Depersonalization is basically a defense mechanism, usually after some kind of trauma, but when you get chronic depersonalization — like I did — you get caught in that state for months. And that’s what happened. I wasn’t depressed. The best way to describe it would be like this: When you’re really high on marijuana, and your hands don’t feel like they’re yours, or you’ll say something and you’re like, Did I just say that? That type of thing. It was very frightening, and doctors kept saying it was depression.

Royal Cumings (x)

[goeswiththeflow]

The diary of the depersonalized

Everything's a dream Everything I see seems untouchable or unreal Not many (actually no one) understands what it is / what it feels like Constantly thinking about it in the back of my head. Causes sadness Strong but just so tired Sleep Bad memory and weakness to my body Effects my personal life and education Hard to sit still because that's when I feel it the most 3 years and a half its been and I still wonder when it will end or the worst thought if it will never end..

[nonbinaryresource]

Can dysphoria feel like depersonalization?

Hi Anon,

Yes dysphoria can feel like depersonalization. Dysphoria can express itself in many different ways, all are valid.

Hope this helps,

-Bion

[mental-health-advice]

DP anon. Mine was about my family not thinking I need help and how I'm afriad to go back to normal. Thank you

Hello lovely,

Sorry, we've only seen this now! I recommend looking through our tags for depersonalisation and depersonalization (ah, the dramas of having UK-English and US-English speakers!) and seeing if you can find your question in there. If it's not, please feel free to either resend it, or chat to one of our Live Chat admins about what you're going through.

Take care,Alexandria.