#depressedkiddo

[thedepressedkiddo]

"The most terrible loneliness is not the kind that comes from being alone, but the kind that comes from being misunderstood. It is the loneliness of standing in a crowded room, surrounded by people who do not see you, who do not hear you, who do not know the true essence of who you are. And in that loneliness, you feel as though you are fading, disappearing into the background, until you are nothing more than a ghost, a shadow of your former self."

- George Orwell, 1984

[thedepressedkiddo]

I wonder if this is ever going to end.

Sometimes I just sit back and wonder—will this ever end, or am I supposed to live the rest of my life like this?

By like this, I mean isolated, drowning in my thoughts, bound by the pain I hold deep inside me, falling back into despair and slumber as I try to reach the light and escape.

Is this the way it’s going to be forever? Forever haunted by demons and nightmares of my failures, grief, and loneliness?

Am I ever going to overcome the darkness I am surrounded by right now? Will I ever get to touch and swim through the light that I only catch glimpses of while constantly drowning in the depths of darkness?

Am I ever going to be sane with all these loud, screeching voices inside my head? Will it ever get quiet?

Am I going to be fine? Will I ever be normal? Or is this just it?

Or am I dreaming—and all I need to do is realize that this was a dream all along and open my eyes—

to see sunlight, embrace its warmth, and soak myself in love I don’t think I deserve… to be acknowledged by others, to realize that my identity actually exists in the real world and is not just an illusion… to break free from the chains I am bound with, to breathe, to exist, to live…

Will I ever?

[thedepressedkiddo]

"It was November-the month of crimson sunsets, parting birds, deep, sad hymns of the sea, passionate wind-songs in the pines."

- L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

[hisashiburi-he]

I want to sleep but I want to stay awake I want to be healthy but at the same time I don’t I want to recover but I can’t move on I want to be myself again however, I’m afraid of getting back.

I̵̡̛̫̮̱͎͕̯̊̔͆͛ ̴̡̳͖̬͍̙̘̫͐̓w̸̝͍͎̏̌͆̓͂͝a̴̛̲͚͉̥͆͐̃̿n̵͔͚̜̜͎̞̻̓̐̏̔͠ͅt̴̬͓͙͍̀̔̂̈́ ̵̧͚̝̭̱͔͈̮̀̍̒̾͘͠͝t̸͎̯͚̜͓̭̯́͗̑̽̔̔͒̚͠ͅó̶͍̟̝͚̬̎̏ͅ ̶̡̻̹̜̩̥̖͉͗̐̀͜d̵̲̺̓̓i̴̱͓͂̇̈́̿̋̊̑͋ẻ̸͕̠̥̭̊̊̇͊̓̈́͋̽͝ ̵̧̩̻͚̪͛̅͊̒͜͝b̵͈̹̱̈́̄̑̓̊̆͆̍͜͜ų̴̦͇͛͌̈́ẗ̸̖́̿̅̑͋̄̅͒ ̶̨̡̟̤̙͉̙̮̇̉͌͗͂̅̕Ì̷̹̮̓́ ̵̛̰̉͊̚̚͝ś̵̢̯̠̖̫͕̰̟̈́͗͜t̷̨̽̊͋̎̈́̎̏͠i̶͈͕̖̗̳̙̊̈́͂̿͊͠l̵̢̯̤̻̟̠̏̍̃̌̌̈́͜͝l̸̥̼̰̤̹̦͋͗̊̃͐́̌̏̚ ̸͔̹̽͒̈̃̈̅͑̉̕͝w̸̡̦̙̯̘̘̑͑̀̓̒͗̈ä̴͚̱̳̙̟̰̤̬̜̹̈͂͛̃͊̇̄ǹ̴̘͎̱̟̟̠̗͍̈́͆̈́̿͒t̸̰̯̮͈̤͐̓̋̏̉̆̓͝ͅ ̸͔͙͍̪͉͑̓̿ͅt̵͙̃͋ö̴̭̥͇̼̳̪̹̦̯́̋ ̴̞̰̱͉̙̝̲̗͚̠͌͝l̷̡͔͔̗̮͔̤̾̋͆̐͘į̷̛̬͎̻̳͇̙̈̋̾̏̅͜͝v̸̧̧̱̯͒̔ͅë̴̗̳̫́̉̓̀͗