Title: untitled
Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy
Rated E (Trigger Warnings for smut, violence, stalking, r*pe/SA)
Pairings: Addison Montgomery/Meredith Grey
Status:: multi-chapter- in progress
Summary: It is not cannon compliant. It’s out of character for some characters. It will be in a nonlinear story telling format- so currently established Meredith/Addison, but the story will include how they get together. Bad guy-Derek/Derek bashing. Don’t like, don’t read.
Chapter 2: The Beginning- Part 3
The elevator dinged, announcing its arrival on the ground floor. “No.” Meredith repeated harshly as she quickly slipped past Derek and dashed out the opening doors. She didn’t look back even as she felt his eyes following her, hurrying towards the door where Addison was hopefully already waiting for her. The wave of relief that flooded through her when she spotted that red hair over most of the crowd washed the adrenaline from her system. “Hey,” Meredith called out to Addison as she approached. “Ready to go?” She maintained her path to the door, with no intention of stopping.
Addison’s eyebrows scrunched in concern as soon as she saw the other woman. She was pale and shaky, her eyes showing her unease. “Hey, you ok? What happened?” Her hand instinctively went to the small of Meredith’s back, pulling her closer protectively, guiding her out of the building. As she held the door, she scanned the lobby behind them, searching for the source of Meredith’s distress. She spotted her ex-husband near the elevators, looking at them with a sour expression, and immediately knew he’d done something. “I’ll drive,” she volunteered and affectionately steered them towards her car. She stayed close the entire way, steering Meredith to the passenger side. After ensuring Meredith was safely settled, Addison closed the door, moving to the driver’s side to get into the car herself. “Derek again?” she asked, even though she knew already.
“Yeah,” Meredith confirmed, her voice hard. “He wanted to take me out for drinks, and apologize for the things he said yesterday.” Addison nodded, knowing that whatever he said was the cause of Meredith’s exhaustion today. She knew all about the way he would manipulate a weakness and attack vulnerabilities when he wanted to hurt you. “We were in the elevator alone and I had to turn him down like three times. He just can’t or won’t accept that I’m not interested in having anything more than a professional relationship with him,” she fumed, but her shaking hands and the waver in her voice betrayed just how rattled she was. Addison had to bite down on the curse that wanted to fly out of her mouth at the image of Derek in the elevator alone with Meredith and coming onto her. Before she could say anything, Meredith spoke. “Please, don’t ask me if I’m doing ok, I don’t think I can convincingly lie to you right now,” she murmured, huffing out a humorless laugh before looking over and meeting Addison’s eyes.
Addison looked her over carefully, taking in the slouched posture, bowed head, hands gripping her thighs to try and hide the trembling. She reached across the center console tenderly, prying one of Meredith’s hands loose, intertwining their fingers. “You don’t have to lie to me.” Addison’s skin tingled where she touched Meredith’s. She kept those petrichor eyes on their joined hands, watching her thumb play in abstract patterns along Meredith knuckles. The atmosphere sparked with the chemistry between them at that touch. Addison lifted her gaze, looking up at Meredith through her eyelashes. “Don’t lie, never with me, please,” she softly whispered.
The crackling electric energy in the car settled to a buzzing tension when Addison let go of Meredith’s hand to start the car. Meredith immediately missed the weight of it, the warmth seeping through the fabric of her jeans and onto her skin. She waited until Addison had navigated out of the hospital parking lot, then reached across the car, pulling Addison’s hand from the steering wheel and bringing it back to her leg. Addison’s hand went stiff as her fingertips brushed just above Meredith’s knee, brain short-circuiting at the contact. In that split second of hesitation, Meredith second-guessed her decision. She ransacked her brain trying to find an excuse or explanation that wasn’t too horrendously mortifying. Before Meredith could act on the conclusion she had come to and throw herself from the car, she felt Addison relax, tension bleeding out of her as the full weight of her forearm rested on Meredith’s leg. Addison’s fingers twitched, finger tips flexing against Meredith’s jeans, and her thumb made a single swipe along the seam. The contact made Meredith’s heart flutter.
Addison drove them to a little casual Italian place and they sunk into the easy atmosphere of dinner together outside the hospital. With each morsel of food and conversation, Meredith felt the tension and exhaustion bleed out of her, like clinging grime being washed away by cleansing rain. Before she knew it, both of their forks clinked gently as they laid them on their plates- Their meals finished before Meredith was ready for it to end. Addison, apparently felt the same way and smoothly ordered them a dessert to share, claiming she was too full to eat all of it herself. The waiter delivered the cuore di cioccolato, which appeared to be a fancy chocolate lava cake, to the middle of the table, and they took turns taking bites until the plate was cleaned. Meredith scooped the last bite onto her fork and she spotted the soft pout that settled on Addison’s face as it fell when she realized their meal was finished. She changed course, shyly offering the last bite to Addison. The light blush that brightened both of their faces reminded Meredith of Cristina calling her a ‘school girl with a crush’, and, as she watched Addison tuck her hair back and lean in to take the bite, she knew her best friend would never let her live it down.
The waiter brought the check and an intense, high-stakes, whispered argument broke out between them over who would pay. Addison insisted she was the one that had wanted to go out for dinner, Meredith claimed she owed Addison for breakfast. Once Meredith said that she’d simply slip cash into Addison’s purse, the red head raised her hands in mock surrender, accepting a fifty-fifty split. Meredith had forgotten how tired she was until she settled into the passenger seat of Addison’s very nice car, and let her head fall back onto the headrest and tried to stifle a yawn behind her hand. “If I take you back to the hospital, can you drive yourself home without falling asleep or can I drive you home?”
Meredith rolled her head to look over at Addison, her head still resting on the head rest. “Head back to the hospital, I can drive home.” She really couldn’t even think of what she would say if, when she asked a friend for a ride the next morning, they questioned her car’s whereabouts. “Unless you want to pick me up in the morning too,” she joked.
“I could do that,” Addison told her. “Or you could spend the night at my place.”
Meredith chuckled, “Even with the extra 30 minutes drive, I’m sure I would rather sleep in my bed than a couch, as nice as I’m sure your hotel is.”
“I actually moved into an apartment, when I decided to stay in Seattle,” Addison surprised her. “And you wouldn’t have to sleep on the couch, the bed is very comfortable.” Her eyes widened when she realized she’d inadvertently implied that Meredith would share her bed and her cheeks flamed as images raced through her mind- Meredith, laid out on her bed; pale skin shining with a sheen of sweat; fingers threaded through mussed hair as soft lips kissed from her neck, down to her chest; “Guest room!” She immediately tried to back track. “In the guest room, I mean! I have a guest room you could stay in, and that bed is very comfortable!” she hurried to explain as Meredith’s eyes twinkled and she grinned at Addison’s flustered speech. “Not to say my bed isn’t comfortable, it’s very comfortable too, but you wouldn’t sleep there, I mean, you wouldn’t have to. If you don’t want to, I mean. You wouldn’t have to sleep in my bed with me, if you didn’t want to.”
“Addison,” Meredith sat up in her seat to get Addison’s attention and spare her any more embarrassing ramblings. “I can drive home.” Addison nodded and pulled onto the road. “I would like to see your apartment some time though. Maybe I can try your bed out and let you know if it’s more comfortable than the guest bed,” she teased lightly. Addison playfully gave her outer thigh a light-hearted nudge at Meredith’s teasing, hand automatically settling onto Meredith’s leg again for the drive back.
In the comfortable quiet of the drive, Meredith realized how much better she felt now. She was still tired, but now not from the emotional baggage that Derek had dragged out anymore. Meredith felt the question that had floated around in her head since yesterday lined up on the back of her tongue. Until now, it felt like it was too personal, for her to ask, too awkward given their history and current relationship. She swallowed to clear the nerves in her throat. “Was he—” Meredith glanced over and caught Addison’s eyes flick to her and she stumbled over her words. Addison’s thumb grazed slow circles along her jeans, warm and comforting. “I mean,” she set her gaze straight ahead, letting her vision blur. “Derek, when you were with him, when he got mad, would he say things, be cruel, intentionally, just to hurt you?”
“Yeah,” Addison answered after a beat. “Usually when his ego was bruised or he thought that I was acting superior to him, or when I was happy and he wasn’t. He would lash out and then apologize and do something special for me or give me gifts and we’d be good until the next time.”
“I’m sorry,” Meredith linked her fingers with Addison’s. “That he treated you like that. That you had to go through that.”
Addison gave a quiet hum of acknowledgement and thanks. Meredith’s statement confirmed what she expected and knew to some degree, Derek treated Meredith the same way he had treated her, and the pang that caused made her chest feel tight. She parked near Meredith’s jeep and turned to face her and squeezed her hand in Meredith’s, “And you shouldn’t have to either. He has no right to treat you like that. No one does, ever.”
Meredith’s skin prickled uncomfortably under her intense gaze and she dropped her eyes to their hands on her lap. “Did it become worse?”
“What do you mean?” Addison wasn’t sure where Meredith’s dark and twisty mind was taking her but she heard it in Meredith’s voice before she could place it.
“After you followed him here,” Meredith’s words wavered as she explained. “After me,” she finished in a tiny voice.
“Oh, Meredith,” Addison squeezed her hand in a way she hoped Meredith found comforting. “Sweet girl, you can’t keep carrying that on you.” she sighed. “None of what he has done to me is your fault. He is responsible for his actions and behavior, and his words. He is, no one else. Especially not you.” Meredith still hadn’t looked up from her lap, tense and guilty in the seat next to her. Addison smoothly freed her hand from Meredith’s and exited the car, taking quick strides around to the passenger door. She opened the door and took Meredith’s hand to guide her out of the car, now standing together. “Meredith, look at me, please. I need to know that you're hearing me.” It took a moment but she did it, revealing the deep shame and sadness swirling through her, and then Addison continued. “He made his choices, you didn’t do anything, you let him walk away from you, and he wouldn’t let go of our marriage, our history, or you. He kept you holding on because it gave him power and control of both of us. Ok?” Meredith nodded a little, a rebel tear escaped her eyes and Addison brought a hand up to softly wipe it away. “I don’t blame you for any of it.”
Meredith just barely leaned into Addison’s touch to her face and sank into the hug she was led into. She breathed out a sigh, her head resting against Addison’s shoulder, and her arms around her waist. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had so quickly quieted her mind, the dark and twisty was still there but the guilt and shame that had eaten at her since Addison came to Seattle wasn’t threatening to pull her under. Addison had taken the time to learn and remember her coffee order. She wasn’t sure Derek ever did that. They’d had coffee together countless times- at home, the hospital cafeteria and coffee cart, cafes in town- but he’d never remembered her order. Addison knew her coffee order, and paid attention to her enough to know what she had eaten in a day. She felt seen in a way that was new and foreign to her.
“Alright,” Addison broke the silence, reluctantly pulling away from the warm and cozy embrace. “Let’s get you on your way home.” She nudged Meredith towards her car, fingers still tightly interlocked with Meredith’s. She followed behind her, unwilling to break the physical connection until she had to. Meredith slid into the driver seat sideways, unwilling to turn away from Addison. Their joined hands pulled Addison to stand between her knees. “Get some sleep tonight,” her hands both settled on Meredith’s legs. Addison leaned in and pressed a simple, chaste kiss to the corner of Meredith’s lips. Meredith tilted her head, bringing their lips together properly in a real kiss. It was effervescent, lips brushing lightly over the others. Almost tentative, they were both still for a moment, before melting into it fully. It was such a new, undiscovered feeling, they both just basked in it for a long moment.
Meredith’s hands found Addison’s waist. Lying there, the luxurious fabric under her palms telegraphing the heat from Addison’s body to her skin, warming her fingertips, it was nothing compared to the feeling of Addison’s lips on hers. Magnetic, charged, enchanting. She leaned in when the older woman moved to pull back from the kiss and gripped Addison’s waist to pull her closer, she could feel the fabric of Addison's clothes bushing against her jeans at her inner thighs. Addison’s hands slid up her legs and found the belt loops of her jeans and hooked her fingers into them. The kiss was still sweet and gentle, testing the waters, as their lips glided together.
Rather than pull back completely, this time Addison broke the kiss and leaned her forehead against Meredith’s. Their breaths mingled as they caught their breath while their hearts still fluttered hard, fast beats against their ribs. After a minute soaking up the coruscating atmosphere between them Addison leaned back, letting her hands slide back down Meredith’s legs and moved so she could slide all the way into the driver’s seat of the jeep. “Let me know when you make it home,” Addison murmured. Meredith nodded, her head tilted adorably to the side, bottom lip caught between her teeth. Addison stole a swift kiss and closed the door, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She backed away towards her car and waved when Meredith pulled out and headed home. She settled in for her own commute and brushed her fingertips over her lips that still tingled from the feeling of Meredith against them with a goofy half-grin. Oh, she was smitten, and in deep.
