i feel crazy being being in DID communities and just online mental health discussions because everyone is like you need to heal and its your responsibility to heal!!!1 while not taking in material conditions and blame the person for not trying hard enough.
i need so much money and support. even if all my baseline needs were met and i never had to work again i still wouldn't work on recovery. i feel like i truly have no safe space to say i don't want to recover. i feel happier being this way.
DID in a clinical position is so hyperfocused on recovery.
i tried searching online for people like me and its so hard. i feel so left out. i feel like i have no automy when it comes to my mental health.
its always mental ill people need to recover. but I don't want to. i don't want to re-traumatize myself. i just want a peaceful quiet home. with top surgery and a kitty cat and a few friends and a care giver along with community based programs. is that too much too ask for?
Playing pretend is fine.
Pretending you have imaginary friends is fine.
We all have done it to a point.
But if you grow up and believe these imaginary people are a part of you,
that you truly believe they exist in your head?
There is an issue.
Imaginary friends are not real.
You are not endogenic.
You are disturbed somehow.
There is not such a thing as an endogenic system.
It is all imaginary.
If you believe you have people in your head, seek help.
If you believe yourself an endogenic ‘system’, seek help.
You cannot just imagine people in your head who are somehow there.
They do not exist.
They are not real.
You are playing games.
Dangerous games.
DID is a real disorder where people suffer for what has happened to them.
It is painful and horrifying.
If you are, as someone ‘endo’ or a ‘tulpamancer’, playing stupid games
Please, please stop.
This is not fun.
Role play is great, yes, but not this.
You are harming yourself and others.
Please quit such harmful games.
If you truly believe yourself ‘endo’ or a ‘tulpamancer’, seek professional help.
So that you can learn why you are imagining such things and why it is necessary to you.
You most likely have a disorder.
Imaginary, as it were.
You’re painstakingly making up for something.
A loss? Perhaps.
Please, stop.
DID is not cool nor fun. People suffer day in and out with people in their mind.
It is made to protect them for a reason.
Just stop playing pretend and seek professional help.
Endogenics and tulpamancers don’t exist.
Sorry but “ doesn't mean you should start shitting on people who are exploring themselves in a new way.” DID isn’t something you explore in a new way it’s not a sexuality mfer. DID is something that develops in extreme cases. It is harmful to themselves and actual ppl with DID to fake or mimic
Cw: talk of endogenic systems and invalidating others tw: brief mention of mental health medical system
Like I get why people dont like endogenic systems. But I think most are valid.
Why?
Cause it's not too uncommon for traumatised people to deny that their trauma is that bad. "Others have it worse" "Im faking it or overreacting" I still think stuff like this despite the clear signs of trauma. Not to mention the traumatic event could be repressed. Also not everyone has access to therapy and psychiatrists to tell them "yes your system is due to trauma"
So thats why i think most endogenic systems are valid.
Tulpas can f*ck off though unless you're an actively practicing Buddhist.
another thing i also want to complain about is people claiming people are faking mental illness such as severe depression, ocd, did, adhd, schizophrenia etc. because from my personal experience, nine times out of ten, Yeah, they dont have that, and its crazy irresponsible and disrespectful to label it as that, especially if theyre being super stubborn about it. Which Should Definitely Be Addressed as a fault of the person. but you realize they probably have Something that needs attention, right ? if someone genuinely believes this about themselves and theyre really not just doing it for fun, and insist it genuinely affects their life, theres still Something Wrong
"theyre just looking for attention so annoying" but why are they trying So hard just to be noticed? are they okay? are they lonely? are they calling for help? is something else wrong? has nobody ever actually listened to them and they felt like they had to make a huge spectacle to be actually cared about? i recognize sometimes people are completely fine and just want more and more and are just doing it for the hell of it, but most of the time when ive sat down to actually talk to these people, theyre overjoyed someone actually cares about them, and you find out that though they may be incredibly misinformed, there are reasons for their behavior. sometimes people just need help and someone to hear them out and i dont think thats recognized enough
its easy to feel like the extremes are the only thing people care about. i think thats why a lot of people self harm. yes i think the only true systems are traumagenic systems, but something should be said about endogenics. im fairly sure that the desire to prove something like that ("attention-seeking behavior") in the first place is a sign of trauma such as being "gaslit" or neglected (not to use armchair psychology or anything. and i hate the word gaslight). im also talking about people who fake other things like tourettes on tiktok live or whatever. everyone is so quick to point and claim Narcissist or Histrionic, but since when did a personality disorder become an insult ...? if anything that just means they need help and therapy anyways instead of being demonized.
unfortunately i am a strong believer that people are hardly ever doing something purely out of malevolence. i just feel like we would be better as people if we led with care and curiosity more of the time. in lots of communities ive seen it starts to feel very Us vs Them. maybe im just a naive hippie
