*********TW alcoholism***********
How thanksgiving prompted me to finally get a divorce.
It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. The plan was that Wednesday to go out to dinner with my maternal grandma then my sister and I were going to spend time with a friend. Then Thursday Thanksgiving day we would have a thanksgiving lunch at my paternal grandma's house, before playing Dungeons and Dragons with some other friends.
So we are at dinner with my Maternal grandma(MG) and he is honestly being a huge dick to me. Just talking to me like I'm dumb making mean spirited jokes at my expense. And I can tell my grandma is getting uncomfortable. So I'm trying to subtly make faces at him to cool it and I can tell that is just pissing him off and he gets pretty quiet at the dinner.
My MG doesn't drive at night and lives about an hour away so she got a hotel room nearby where we went to dinner. So after dinner we walked her back to her hotel and we were chatting with her for a while in the hotel room. When my ex announces he will be going to smoke his second cigarette since we got there.
It was getting close to the time where we were ready to leave and my ex wasn't back yet. He had been gone for 15+ minutes which was longer than it took him to smoke a cigarette. So I was getting a little suspicious and finally decided to call him and tell him we were ready to leave. He says he's down in the lobby and my sister and I should meet him down there.
MG walks my sister and I downstairs and he is sitting at the hotel bar. MG makes a comment about him really needing a drink. And I feel so incredibly embarrassed. This isn't the first time his actions have embarrassed me. This isn't the first time his drinking has embarrassed me.
I had begged him to quit drinking countless times. He always insisted it wasn't a problem and he didn't need to quit. Always insisted he wasn't an alcoholic. Even though he would drink every single day. He worked at a bar and there was always an excuse to stay and drink.
There were even 2 separate instances where my sister came to me and begged me to leave him over his drinking and the way he would treat us. Especially the way he would treat us when he was drunk. I always insisted that him and I could work it out
As we are walking up to him at the bar he turns and acts like it's no big deal. Meanwhile I know I am sending daggers with my eyes. In my head I said "I just can't deal with this anymore. I can't let him embarrass me like this anymore."
In the car I already knew I was going to ask for a divorce but I also knew the next day was Thanksgiving. So I told myself let me get through Thanksgiving first and just acted like I was fine.
That night my sister and I still went to hang out with our friend and my ex of course went to the bar. When I came home he was drunk and he asked me if we were good because of the situation with MG. I knew I didn't want to work it out with him and that in 48 hours it really wouldn't matter so I told him we were good. I just needed to get through Thanksgiving.
So we went to bed like normal and the next day when he was too hungover to go to Thanksgiving lunch with my paternal grandma (PG) I didn't fight him on it. Originally I wasn't going to tell my sister that day because I didn't want Thanksgiving to be awkward. Once I knew he wasn't coming anymore my sister and I went outside, split a cigarette, and I told her.
Afterwards we went to Thanksgiving lunch like everything was normal. We had a good lunch with PG and while I was there he texted me apologizing and letting me know he was feeling better enough for Dungeons and Dragons that night. Because of course he was going to feel better enough to do something he enjoyed.
We left my PGs but didn't go straight home. Instead my sister and I parked and talked out the plan of me leaving. I cried and stressed about the whole thing. Couldn't believe I was getting divorced so young. Couldn't believe I had wasted so much of my youth. Couldn't believe I was really going to start over.
That night Dungeons and Dragons felt very melancholic. I knew even if any of these people were still my friend after everything that the game would never be the same. My sister and I were the only ones who got to know this would be the last session. I had to sit there knowing it was the last session of a game I had played for 6 years.
Anyway the next day I did finally tell him and I'll make another post in the future about that. But I think this was a long enough post and it was a bit difficult to write/relive.
