#dndhumor

[yellowmanula]

Me every time I meet a literal demon in the woods 😌

[boxofteethrpg-blog]

#justanothermimicmonday These particular mimics were always jealous of gnomes. For some reason, this strain of monstrosity thought the diminutive humanoids were the pinnacle of creation. However, they couldn't very well change into gnomes... Imagine their delight when they first laid eyes on lawn ornaments and lo-and-behold there were ones that looked like little gnomes with pointy hats, beards, and rosy cheeks. The whole lot of mimics changed int a fresh batch of garden gnomes and soon enough spread across the region. They always travel and hunt in packs. They also realized how to make that hat -very- pointy. https://boxofteeth.blogspot.com/2022/11/ornamental-mimic.html

[adhd-lesbian]

I like to think that I would be immune to possession in dnd bc whatever possessed me would have to deal with the chemical imbalances in my brain. Now I have ADHD, I can't have one coherent train of thought, I have seven, all yelling at max volume in languages they don't know how to speak, while speeding at mock fuck and almost hitting eachother. There's no way in hell something would be able to pop in and say "I got this". Bitch I've been doing this for almost 19 years and I don't got this!

[ryofthesouthrnmiles]

Me: *tries to get healthier*

My brain: hI tHerE cAn I InTerEst YoU iN SuiCiDe? LeT mE iN bItCh

Me: seeks help and doesn’t self harm

****NEXT DAY*****

My body: would now be a good time to tell you tHaT yoUrE FuCkEd? 🙃🙃🙃

Me: ........ why tho

Body: 🙃🙂

Me: 3am at the ER HAHAHA Lohse bleeding, stunned and silenced for 4 turns LMAooOoOo

[quirkycraft]

"When you're on level 1, everyone is squishy"

~Our DM after our party of 7 spent an hour fighting a group of 4 goblins, one of us ending up unconscious and another 3 reduced to 1-2 hit points.

[fairycrowbar]

[quirkycraft]

How I judge my sister's new friends...

Basically, my little sister just moved from primary school into my secondary school and has an army of new friends. I figured out a FOOLPROOF way of testing their worthiness: I gave each of them a small picture of MollyMauk, and if a person loses their Molly I lose my respect for the person.

[quirkycraft]

Played D&D for the very first time today, and it was the first game of our campaign.

So far our kenku rogue has escaped with an ox (though our wood elf retrieved both ox and kenku), our triton pulled the cart for a while, my warlock nearly got slashed by our halfling (twice) and the whole time the dumbest tiefling ever was holding on to the bottom of the cart trying to pull out floorboards in order to get me out of their cart.

Things are going well.

(SERIOUSLY THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD AAAAH)