#do not read

[bloodstainedtits]

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[bloodstainedtits]

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[grahansey]

currently reading The Road by Cormac Mccarthy and thinking of a universe post apocalypse where andrew minyard who did not have any will to live nor die found a child whose parents were k*lled by scavengers. from this moment, he chose to survive to protect him no matter what. he made promises to the boy and to himself and they headed south along the road and survived day by day, hiding in the wood, trying to find supplies and water, they did everything they could to not starve nor die from the cold. seasons (or what is left of it) and months go by, they starved but did not die. they encountered dangerous people, almost died, but did not.

andrew and the boy know they have been followed for days or weeks, time is a difficult thing here, but nothing happened. they haven't seen a human being since the day andrew sliced the throat of a man who grabbed the child by the arm. they first thought they've heard an animal but it can't be because everything and everyone is dead. the child is scared. they walked on top of a hill and waited. the boy first saw light, a fire but no smoke. but then it started moving, fast. he asked if it was a dog. andrew said no. there ain't no dog like that. fox. he thought, but did not say it because it's impossible. and then it was gone. andrew remembers what a fox looked like in the old world and so that night, he dreams of one. in the morning he thinks he has hallucinated what they saw which can't do no good because if he starts thinking of beautiful things, far gone and extinct, it means he has giving up and that they are already dead. so they keep walking, they keep moving, they keep living.

but the fox is real. i mean not really, because it's not a fox but a person. he moves like an animal, shades of red like burning fire who turned those places to ashes. they saw it again, still from far away but with the binoculars, andrew realises this can't be an animal and he can't tell who the prey and who the predator is. he is ready to shoot, ready to kill because no one will touch the boy, he promised. but the child never saw such bright and warm colors in his life. he only knows the dark. and so he pleads his dad to wait. he once asked to not kill a dog, he didn't want to eat one. andrew did not kill the dog. and so he asks again. can we leave dad? i don't want to kill it. but again, not a fox, a boy.

a boy about andrew's age, he realises when they finally meet across a river. actually he could be much younger. what strikes him is the icy blue eyes through the holes of the fox mask. he's wearing furs and it's somehow really clean, he sits strangely. he doesn't look like a boy at all, andrew doesn't know if the boy even know what he is, who he is. he doesn't understand their language or so it seems. he belongs to the forest but everything is in ruins so he belongs to nowhere, just like them. but this is how it starts. a river. a gun. a child.

fire and ice.

[pagefied]

idk what i’m doing wrong, honestly i feel so invisible and whenever i try to plot something with someone it never happens. i feel so unwanted, like i try my best to write stuff to get others to rp with me but i don’t get the same energy back? what can i do? i’m just discouraged at this point, i think i rather quit while i’m ahead, i just wanted to connect with people and just have fun, but its just me being burdensome at this point, i really am sorry, just please don’t follow me if you’re not gonna try to interact, i get hopeful.

[fizhle]

Yes i read juujika no rokunin. Yes it's one of the worst manga ive ever read in my life. Yes i kinda liked it

MINUS ALL THE SA SCENES.. i didnt hate it..

But i might just have a kinda low bar. The art is quite nice, but the story is ASS. Random characters show up for no reason and die immediately, or serve the purpose of dying to kill a different character (cough cough juutaro and kitami) or they exist to sa or get sa'd.

It GODDD AWFULLLLLL. WHY WAS THERE AN AMNESIA ARC???? WHAT WAS WITH THE TIMESKIP??????????? Its like the author wrote up to uruma killing the first five and then was like "fuuuuuckkk.... make him get arrested and make shikogu start a cult" LIKE WHAT??? HUH?????????

CLONES?????????? HUH,??????? WHAT??????? WHY DID KITAMI EXPLODE????????

I actually really liked kitami he was a silly goober, but i truly did not understand his role in the story nor his motivations.

And i like shigoku because he was a cutie pie...

The ending actually wasnt that bad either. And by ending i mean the final fight. I hated the epilogue, the reveal of them being childhood best friends was FINE i guess, and the vr thing was just?????? Huh?????? Also the mummified baby???????? Like i GUESS i get it but.. it only showed up right at the end

All in all it was just kind of a nothing burger but i might draw kitami, reo or shigoku in the future because those were the only characters i actually liked

Its just rape, torture and murder: the manga. Do NOT read 2/10

[noellezoenoodle]

Can I vent for a little bit?

My parents gave up on me and stopped funding me, only giving me shelter and food; I would say that this doesn't present a challenge for me, but I need to face the music. I've been unemployed for two years now, and my artistic endeavors have barely given me anything.

I want to keep making art for art's sake without caring if people like it or not, and I'll kill my ambitions if that means I'll keep on creating.

But at one point, I'll need to start charging more for my stuff.

[when-l1fe-gives-you-lem0ns]

tw cw sh, ed, sensitive topics, idk what else

sometimes it hits me that every therapist in my life has failed to give the help I've requested and that's when I remember that if i actually was ever gonna recover, I would be doing so right now. instead my first therapist brushed off my eating habits and told me I'm already skinny so just eat better, my second (or current one ig) has completely fucking ghosted me after I FUCKING TOLD HER EVERYTHING

i told her EVERYTHING. i wrote it down, i told her everything I could while trying and failing not to cry, and I did all that in an hour and she told me to go see a psychologist. she was supposed to talk to the psychologist. it's been over a fucking month and shes not done that nor reached out to me.

then the third one. oh how funny that the third and I guess technically the first therapist in my life is, my own, fucking, mother. i got my first period two years ago and my mom helped me set up a tracking app. one of the parts of setting up was to check all boxes of the illnesses I have or whatever, we reach the eating disorder box and she asks "haha should I check this?" I get nervous and say no obviously. why? I ask her, "I don't know you probably have one haha"

yeah fucking ha ha dude probably maybe. I've been getting sloppier to the point where I've given up hiding even. I've left my sketchbook on the page open to where I was vent sketching about my ed, she saw it, NOTHING. she was gone for a few days and id taken the scale from her room and kept it in mine and forgotten to keep it back by the time she came home, she asked me and i foolishly said it was to measure fuckin beads or someshit, NOTHING. hell she's seen the cuts on my arms and still fucking nothing.

if I needed recovery I would've received it by now.