"you remembered my favourite flower!"
i read with tears in my eyes.
of course i did
of course i did
because i love you and for you
i will cry my eyes dry.
i remember your birthday
i remember that song
that made you blush while you thought
about that boy
i remember that time you found, on your pillow,
your cats favourite toy.
i remembered all those times
she used the wrong name
and how it hurt your little mind
i remember your clothing style
i remember your favourite song
i remember it all,
in my head, it's all in a file.
because every moment i spoke to you
i cherished, i relished, i saved
and you know what the funny thing is?
i still do, over you, i rave.
even more so now because it's so rare
when you message me, i freak
i kick my legs, i tell my friends
"she's talking to me!"
and the messages you send are dry and bare
like the skin around my bones
because i am just a dog
whom as a gift you were bestowed
but you aren't ready
for such a responsibility
and won't throw this dog his ball
but still i will run back to you.
i will fetch to you not a ball,
but my heart
which is shattered into two.
so here, this pup starves
and begs for your love, for your praise
and i fully believe this habit, it'll stick
'til my dying days.
but you have other pets to play with
and i know they're prettier, they're popular
they're "normal", whatever that means to you, though it's a myth
and you'd never say it, but i wish you would
the fact you don't, it makes me seethe
why can't you just be honest?
instead of lying through your teeth
i know you prefer them over me,
i know this sounds like i'm out of my head
i know i bother you, i do
but i can't promise i'd leave you alone
even if you said you wanted me dead
but then i'd have some clarity at least
instead of two letters on my screen
please, i beg, if you want me to shut
my mouth and sew it closed
for you i will because i obey
every order i am told.
like i said i'm just a dog
a needy, battered, shelter dog
tossed from home to home.
and i remember every word they've said to me
it's all locked up, it's airtight
and it's hurts, oh it hurts how you don't know
that i always have you all in my sight
so yes i remember your favourite flower
but do you remember mine?
do you even know who i am anymore?
am i wasting all of my time?
of course i am but still
i sit here and type my fingerprints away
because for once you're on and i,
just a neglected, selflessly loyal dog,
am here to stay.
