three weeks ago was the last time I saw my cat alive. during that week, at one point, I picked him up at random, and he suddenly started stretching; we used to do that, I'd pick him up and push his front paws a bit, and say "look, stretch time!" or something stupid like that to my mom, and he'd stretch, he always went with it; it was like a trick, and my mom found it a bit stupid but funny. at some point, not that long ago, we stopped. lately he was less and less energetic (he was old too), but that wasn't why we stopped, I guess I just forgot, what with moving out. anyways, three weeks ago I picked him up and he started stretching, but it wasn't my intention so I didn't hold him up long enough, and so he didn't sretch for long, it was kind of an aborted movement. I gave him a smooch and a hug as I'd intended, but I felt guilty, because I'd forgotten but he hadn't, and I wondered if he'd missed it. I don't know. tomorrow I'm going home, in an appartment with a cat-shaped hole in it. it's been bearable here, in my own place that hasn't been mine for long, that's never had any pet in it, but tomorrow and for the rest of the weekend I know I'm gonna look for him everywhere.