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Maybe everyone reaches an age when they can’t help thinking that they should have done more, lived more, been more than who they are. I’m not who I wanted to be.

― Alice Feeney, Beautiful Ugly: A Novel (Flatiron Books, January 14, 2025)

#alice feeney #beautiful ugly #regrets #potential #more #done more #life

Thinking about everything I've done wrong in my entire life, how's everyone else's night going?

#its my nieces birthday today and im just thinking about what a disappointment i am and have been #i cant exactly pinpoint when but there was a time in college where i kinda just went numb n shut everyone out n ive been like that eversinc #and ive just been thinking about how i havent been there for her in all the ways i wish i was #if i wasnt so fucking mentally unstable #if i had a job and a car and the mental ability/ capacity to have been there for her #and its not like ive been completely mia #but i know i couldve #should've #done more #and like i still can #the time isnt over yet #but im stuck thinking about everything ive done wrong or everything i didnt do at all #🫠#my thoughts

Fascinated by Lionblaze's relationship with Flywhisker and Snaptooth. What must he feel about them becoming kittypets? Does he confide in Jayfeather about it? I want to see the angst. And acknowledgement that he is Spotfur's father as well how are his grandkits doing.

ngl I really wish the books remembered the family tree sometimes and gave more moments like the ones you mentioned ☹️ I havent finished avos, but ive seen something about spotfur(?) not agreeing w some of his decisions or opinions (very tame term I'm using I think). all in all YEAH, that along w fly and snap going away... As well as all the other shit that's happening around him. It's a mess lol

#im reminded of my past wants of seeing him and jay talking about #juniperkit and dandelionkit :(#something something the power of stars on their paws being lost something something wondering if they still had it if they could have #done more #something something hollyleaf #ask

just a little word vomit/vent/freak out - it’s not important.

Starting to panic about not fitting in the plane seat on Friday, or not having the seatbelt do up.

Which is stupid, because even at my heaviest I was OK (just) - have always had an issue with the tray tables though because of how I carry my weight.

I’m worrying about nothing. I will be fine.

Last time I flew to Bali I was at my heaviest - I’m about 20kg down from there now, if I fit then, I’ll fit now.

And now I’m worrying about not being able to do all the fun fitness-y stuff that my sister-in-law wants to do like white water rafting - I’m super keen to do it but don’t think they’ll have a life vest that fits. And what if I’m too heavy/big for the water slides at waterbom?

I need to switch off my brain. Just stop.

#i'm really disappointed that i'm not closer to the goal i set for bali #the fact that i lost 7 weeks to being sick is irrelevant #i should have worked harder #done more #feeling like a failure

Done more

I seem to Have done More than I Remember This year I have seen New cities And lights In southern Evening skies I have heard NYC streets After walking So long On my feet I have gained More of Being me With you Guiding me I have gotten More like I'm supposed To be When I'm me It's been longer Than I thought A year gone With so much done

#spilled ink #poem #poetry #done more

I'm not saying it's your fault, although you could of done more..

The Kooks _ Naive

#the kooks #its your fault #done more #naive

#done more

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