Abuse is not Okay.
I nearly died at age 2. The scars will be with me forever.
At age 12, I had become the victim of abuse.
By 13, I was depressed, bringing up my three siblings, keeping the house together, looking after my drug-addicted mum and going to school.
At 14, I was my mum was evicted; my three siblings went to live with their dad and I had to live with my abusive uncle.
At 15, I was severely suicidal. I had few friends, I rarely saw my siblings and I was a victim of regular emotional, psychological and mental abuse from my uncle.
At 15, I was torn away from my family and what few friends I had; I was forced to move in with my father in Blackpool.
After four months, I was cutting. I was so stressed that I didn’t think I would be able to carry on living.
The month after he kicked me out, saying that he hated me and he wouldn’t put up with my reclusive behaviour.
I moved in with an old family friend and became one of her carers. I felt ignored and my depression got worse. I failed most of my GCSEs and nearly didn’t get into college.
Just before I turned 16, she kicked me out, too. ‘There’s not enough space,’ she’d said, ‘you have to go.’
I moved in with my alcoholic, chainsmoking, homophobic grandmother. I hated staying there and after a month or so, she kicked me out. Apparently, a gay, depressed granddaughter who stands up for what she believes in wasn’t what she wanted.
Four months on, and I’m living by in supported lodgings, going to college and have the best support I could ever ask for from @rose-s18, Ella and my flatmate.
I will always have these people to thank for what they’ve done for me, and I know I would probably be dead if they weren’t there to help me. They’ve given me shoulders to cry on, they’ve been there to listen to my rants about a certain criminology and sociology teacher, they’ve made me laugh, and I will never forget them for that.
Abuse isn’t okay. It ruins people. It ruins children. The things abuse can do to a human being are shocking.
We’re scared when people come along and treat us right because we think it’s a joke or that it’s the calm before the storm.
We can’t form emotional attachments as easily because we think the people will be ripped away from us or we’ll be ripped out from the place we’ve become settled in.
We get scared of interaction with others because we’re scared they secretly hate us, so we isolate ourselves and become desperate for human interaction.
Being abused from a young age and developing depression and anxiety makes a child scared when they’re young, and social outcasts as they get older. We never truly know who we are, and it’s terrifying.
Don’t abuse your children. Don’t abuse your wife, your husband, your boyfriend, girlfriend or partner. Don’t bully other people at school.
Try and be a nice person. Never say ‘I understand’; say ‘I know I probably don’t understand, but I’m here for you whenever you need me, day or night’. The best thing you can do is be there for someone, or find someone who is there for you if you’re the victim.
It gets better, I promise you. It might take forever and be a painful road, but it gets better.
