!!: Andrew's time at rehab is talked about down below. Read at your own risk.
Is anyone else thinking about the fact that Nora Sakavic said that amongst the things that Proust did to Andrew during his time at rehab, he also included fucking tickling????? And at first glance, that might be a peculiar thing to notice, but then you realise:
Andrew had to be tied to a bed during basically his entire time at that facility.
During his time there, Proust "acted out" most of the traumatic memories in Andrew's childhood. He repeated what his abusers said, did to him what they have done to him, and insisted that this was Important for his recovery.
And then, when all that Andrew could do to preserve a sense of bodily autonomy was say "no," and snarl and struggle and disassociate when needed, Proust fucking tickled him. He forced laughs and giggles and noises out of his throat and used those to tell Andrew that he liked it. Complimented his laugh condescendingly, said that perhaps he should do it more. He made him feel inescapable unbearable sensations for hours on end. And Andrew was unable to defend himself or even find a way out of it, being as ticklish as he was. (And this was information provided to Proust) He had to feel hands on sensitive parts of his body throughout his entire time there, but this might have been amongst the worst things to ever happen to him, because not only was Proust being invasive, but he forced sounds out of Andrew that he never would have, in any fucking circumstance, wanted to produce, and then used that against him
It's horrifying to think about, being put in an unbearable humiliation ritual for hours on end. And the fact that he got out of it and never mentioned this part. We would have never known. Tickling is so overlooked when you think about how it can be so, so damaging to a person. It's suffocating, it leaves you gasping for breath, forces tears down your face, and makes you laugh and sob uncontrollably whether you like it or not, and the fact that Andrew, of all people, had to go through this is sickeningggg omg. During one of the most vulnerable times of his life too, right after he had to go through Drake hurting him again infront of everyone
"Everyone knows now, Bee" takes on a whole different nauseating taste when you start to really think about this. Oh my heart
