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Having a proustian moment

#studyblr #studygram #studyspo #bookblr #booklr #bookstagram #books #proust #marcel proust #food #coffee #coffeeblr #madeleine

!!: Andrew's time at rehab is talked about down below. Read at your own risk.

Is anyone else thinking about the fact that Nora Sakavic said that amongst the things that Proust did to Andrew during his time at rehab, he also included fucking tickling????? And at first glance, that might be a peculiar thing to notice, but then you realise:

Andrew had to be tied to a bed during basically his entire time at that facility.

During his time there, Proust "acted out" most of the traumatic memories in Andrew's childhood. He repeated what his abusers said, did to him what they have done to him, and insisted that this was Important for his recovery.

And then, when all that Andrew could do to preserve a sense of bodily autonomy was say "no," and snarl and struggle and disassociate when needed, Proust fucking tickled him. He forced laughs and giggles and noises out of his throat and used those to tell Andrew that he liked it. Complimented his laugh condescendingly, said that perhaps he should do it more. He made him feel inescapable unbearable sensations for hours on end. And Andrew was unable to defend himself or even find a way out of it, being as ticklish as he was. (And this was information provided to Proust) He had to feel hands on sensitive parts of his body throughout his entire time there, but this might have been amongst the worst things to ever happen to him, because not only was Proust being invasive, but he forced sounds out of Andrew that he never would have, in any fucking circumstance, wanted to produce, and then used that against him

It's horrifying to think about, being put in an unbearable humiliation ritual for hours on end. And the fact that he got out of it and never mentioned this part. We would have never known. Tickling is so overlooked when you think about how it can be so, so damaging to a person. It's suffocating, it leaves you gasping for breath, forces tears down your face, and makes you laugh and sob uncontrollably whether you like it or not, and the fact that Andrew, of all people, had to go through this is sickeningggg omg. During one of the most vulnerable times of his life too, right after he had to go through Drake hurting him again infront of everyone

"Everyone knows now, Bee" takes on a whole different nauseating taste when you start to really think about this. Oh my heart

The imperfect is the tense of fascination: it seems to be alive and yet it doesn't move: imperfect presence, imperfect death; neither oblivion nor resurrection; simply the exhausting lure of memory. From the start, greedy to play a role, scenes take their position in memory: often I feel this, I foresee this, at the very moment when these scenes are forming. —This theater of time is very contrary of the search of lost time; for I remember pathetically, punctually, and not philosophically, discursively: I remember in order to be unhappy/happy — not in order to understand. I do not write, I do not shut myself up in order to write the enormous novel of time recaptured.

Roland Barthes, A Lover's Discourse

#perfection #imperfection #memory #time #imagination #Proust #quotes #Barthes #Roland Barthes #A Lover's Discourse

finally here i share my

🫀 revolutionary books set🫀

which includes vintage covers and original inside pages for a series of mostly leftist /theoretical and some literary irl books! titles include the communist manifesto, gender trouble by judith butler, women, race & class by angela davis, orientalism by edward said, tolstoy's anna karenina, v for vendetta original comics, and many more.

fully functional and FREE!

all books have in-game effects: either skill increase or focused, inspired, flirty, or energized moodlets.

skills include logic, charisma, and research and debate

should be mostly base game compatible (but lmk if not and i'll do my best to address it), research and debate skill ones require Discover University EP

they are divided between leon's books and constance's books, since i created them primarily for my own and @chiamomo 's gameplay (constance is her OC). see below for the in-game previews:

but if your sims feel more literarily inclined, then i direct you to:

i made much fewer books for constance because the sims 4 already has a surprisingly wide selection of base game books about music, poetry, and parody versions of various irl literary classics that constance would be interested in reading. i felt a need to make leftist books particularly because there was none in the game (not surprisingly lol).

✨ download all here ✨

@alwaysfreecc

also shout out to @simkatu for creating such wonderful reading animation overrides for the sims 4!!

do not post any of my work as if your own and/or put behind a paywall.