May 10, 2025
A tiny teaser of what I’m working on:
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A tiny teaser of what I’m working on:
Guardian Angel
Chapter 11: Full House
Summary: Following the harrowing near-death encounter in Rome, you and everyone else are navigating the aftermath. On top of that, the weight of the secret about your parents' intentions to drill in Sokovia continues to burden you. As you and Wanda take the next step in your relationship by moving in together, the looming truth about the secret remains unresolved.
Warnings: Reliving past trauma, angst, crying.
Word Count: 3.5k
A/N: Time to tell Wanda the truth.
Guardian Angel Masterlist
It had been fourteen days since Rome. After a thorough investigation, SHIELD identified irregularities in the catacombs that led them to a deserted island along the Tyrrhenian Sea's coast. But the lead quickly faded, leaving the investigation at a standstill.
As everyone struggled with the lingering trauma of being trapped underground, the case was put on hold to allow for emotional recovery. Fury insisted on mandatory sessions with Dr. Raynor at the compound, much to everyone's annoyance, including yours.
"Do you remember what you felt when you watched them fall?" Dr. Raynor's voice cut through the silence of the room.
"Scared," you replied, your tone flat and emotionless.
"Anything else?" she pressed, her pen poised over her notepad.
“I don’t remember," you admitted, pausing as you tried to form the words. "I think I’ve blocked it out."
Dr. Raynor was no stranger to complex patients; your reluctance didn’t faze her. She shifted her approach, leaning back comfortably in her chair. “So, you’re not an Avenger, are you, y/n?”
“Definitely not,” a smirk crept onto your lips.
"And you own a..." She flipped through her notes, searching. "A sweet shop?"
"The Candy Bar." You grinned at the thought.
“That sounds delightful,” she remarked, her pen scratching the page.
“It’s the most ordinary part of my life right now," you confessed, running a hand through your hair. "It’s the one thing that feels constant amidst everything else.”
"You’re currently residing here?" she asked, glancing over her glasses.
"That’s right,” you corroborated.
“And you and Ms. Maximoff are... seeing each other?" Dr Raynor asked slowly.
"Yeah, we’ve been together for five months now," you confirmed, warmth spreading through you.
She quickly noted how your body relaxed at the mention of the redhead. “How is that going?”
“Great, she’s incredible,” you replied, a genuine smile lighting up your face.
The doctor was intrigued and continued, "How did you two meet?"
“Her kids bumped into me at a coffee shop,” you reminisced, a chuckle escaping your lips at the memory. “And then…”
Dr. Raynor noticed the subtle change in your expression, the flicker of distraction in your eyes as your thoughts drifted far away.
"Y/N?"
“Hmm?” You snapped back to the present.
“And then?” she encouraged gently.
“I was in a serious car accident, and Wanda saved my life,” you said, your voice softening with the memory.
“Would you say that you trust Ms. Maximoff with your life?” Dr. Raynor pressed.
You responded without hesitation, saying, "Absolutely, without a doubt."
“Alright, let’s dig deeper,” Dr. Raynor leaned in. "How did it feel to watch the person you are in a relationship with—someone you trust implicitly—jet off to a catacomb in Rome, putting herself in harm's way to save her team?”
Your fingers twisted nervously around the fabric of your shirt as you avoided eye contact. “I haven't felt that scared in ages.”
“Have you talked to her about what you're feeling?” Dr. Raynor asked, her tone sincere.
“Oh, God, no. I was just so relieved when she brought everyone back; I shoved all that aside,” you explained, guilt creeping in.
"Do you often push aside your feelings?" the doctor asked.
"Not always," you said, glancing at your hands.
"But sometimes?" Her pen moved again, capturing every nuance of your conversation.
"I suppose," you replied, bewildered that you were entering this territory. Bucky was right; that notepad felt downright passive-aggressive.
Dr. Raynor glanced at the clock and set down her notes, the session nearing its end. "Y/N, I want you to think about this: Honesty with those we care about is crucial for building trust. How can your relationship with Wanda deepen if you’re not open with her?"
That thought crashed into you like a tidal wave: Tony, the newspaper headline, your parents, Sokovia—the guilt felt like an anchor dragging you down.
*^~^*
Tony!" You burst into the lab, calling out for him.
The genius responded as he rounded the corner, manipulating virtual elements as he moved, with Dum-E following closely behind. "To what do I owe the pleasure, Willy Wonka?"
"We need to tell Wanda about my parents' drilling in Sokovia," you said urgently. “I can't take the guilt anymore.”
Tony took off his glasses and sighed. "I know. I've been wrestling with that since we've been home, too. Our little underground adventure really turned everything upside down."
“Boss,” FRIDAY interrupted. “Ms. Maximoff has just arrived and is looking for Ms. Y/L/N.”
“Tell her I’ll be right up, FRIDAY,” you responded.
“Alright,” Tony said, stroking his goatee. “Here’s the plan. I'll do some research and schedule a team meeting. You take Wanda and keep her busy while I figure out our next steps.”
You nodded. “I planned to take her to my apartment to pick up some belongings.”
It suddenly dawned on Tony. "Oh, right, your apartment!" he said, snapping his fingers.
“What about my apartment?” you asked nervously.
“Well, here’s the thing…” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Cap turned it into a safe house.”
“He did what?” you were stunned by his words.
“It’s an ideal downtown location in an nondescript building,” Tony argued.
“What did you plan to do when I moved back to my apartment?” you shouted.
“We didn’t really think it through,” he admitted with a shrug. “Honestly, when you started seeing the little witch, we assumed the issue would sort itself out and you’d be living with her in no time.”
“We haven’t planned that far ahead,” you muttered in frustration, resting your head on the cool steel of the billionaire’s workshop desk.
“Why not? Pepper told me that Billy and Tommy love you. What’s the problem?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't know. I just feel it’s important to let Wanda have the space she needs to find and regain her footing," you said, a hint of reluctance in your voice.
“Y/N, listen to me for a moment," Tony said, his voice steady. "I was there when Wanda returned from Westview. She was a shell of herself, wandering in a fog of confusion and pain. It wasn't until you came into her life that she finally found her footing again.
The genius could see the wheels turning in your head. "Just something to ponder," he said, giving you a friendly pat on the back. "Oh, and you'll want this," he added, quickly jotting down a series of numbers on a piece of paper and handing it to you.
As the elevator surged upward, you focused on calming the storm of thoughts swirling in your mind, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. The weight of keeping this secret from Wanda pressed heavily on your chest, a constant reminder of the emotional toll it was taking on you.
Wanda welcomed you with a warm smile as you entered the kitchen. "Hey there, sweetheart," she said, a look of concern crossing her face. "You seem a bit flushed. Are you feeling alright?" She reached out as if to check your forehead.
"I'm fine," you replied, skillfully evading her touch. "I was thinking we could stop by my apartment today. Since it’s now a safe house, I should probably grab some things," you murmured, annoyed.
What is it?" Her face showed a mix of confusion and anger. "When did that happen?
I'm not entirely sure," you responded, taking her hand. "But I have a feeling I won't see my security deposit again.
*^~^*
A sense of unease gnawed at you as you approached your apartment. You couldn't shake the feeling that your landlord and neighbors would go ballistic if they discovered that the Avengers were seeking refuge in your home. The faded number 19 still clung to the door, a poignant reminder of all that had changed since you last stood before it with Wanda.
Your key slipped into the lock, and with a twist, the door swung open to reveal a scene that seemed straight out of a spy movie.
"Holy moly," you gasped, taking in the advanced security measures that now protected your home.
"I swear, I'm going to wring Steve's neck over this," Wanda fumed.
Reinforced walls and a state-of-the-art surveillance system monitored the area like a hawk, poised to intercept unwanted visitors. Closed-circuit cameras and motion detectors stood guard, creating a fortress around you.
You retrieved the piece of paper Tony had given you and entered the sequence of numbers into the keypad. The panel beeped and displayed Defense system in sleep mode.
“What are we looking for, detka?” Wanda asked as she glanced around.
"I just need a few more clothes and some books I've been wanting to read. I've practically read everything in the compound library, and my wardrobe has been empty for quite a while," you replied, looking around the room cluttered with empty pizza boxes and a playful IOU note from Yelena for $ 22.50.
Wanda followed closely as you moved around your apartment, offering to help clean up and carry the stack of books you had taken from the shelf. She blushed as you showed her the outfits you selected from your closet.
After taking one last look around your home, you said, "Okay, I think that’s everything."
“Wait, sweetheart,” Wanda said with a concerned expression, “I want to talk to you about something.” She placed the books on the coffee table.
Your heart sank, feeling as though it had dropped into the pit of your stomach. Did she somehow know? Had she overheard your thoughts in the kitchen? She had promised that she would only read your mind in case of an emergency, but now you couldn't shake the feeling that she might be onto you. You knew that you had to come clean and tell her everything; it wasn't fair to keep her in the dark.
"Wanda, I..." you started, searching for the right words.
“Move in with me,” Wanda interrupted, smiling.
“What?” you exclaimed, your eyes widening in surprise.
“Move in with me,” she said, her voice soft yet insistent. “I’m sorry for blurting that out, but I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I want to wake up with you every morning and be there when you come back from the Candy Bar smelling like chocolate.”
“Are you sure? What about the boys?” you stammered.
“I spoke with Billy and Tommy this weekend, and they couldn’t be more excited,” Wanda explained, her eyes filled with sincerity..
Feeling overwhelmed, you wrapped your arms around Wanda tightly, pouring all your emotions into the embrace. You then kissed her gently, trying to express everything you felt about her offer. You realized you couldn't go through with it when you looked into her eyes. You pushed your feelings aside instead of being honest with her, just as Dr. Raynor had said.
“Let’s do this. Let’s live together,” you finally whispered, the decision settling in your heart.
*^~^*
The team gathered closely around the sleek conference table, their expressions a mix of curiosity and anticipation. The glow from the massive screen at the front of the room illuminated their faces as they viewed the striking feature of your parents.
“Onyx Petroleum is seeking permission to conduct an untested deep-sea operation to drill for Vibranium on remnants of Sokovian soil. They have already obtained approval from Slovakia and the Czech Republic,” Tony explained as he walked around the table.
"Y/N's parents?" Yelena asked, arching her eyebrow curiously.
"Why didn't she ever tell us?" Kate wondered aloud.
“Not everyone has parents they can be proud of,” Natasha said solemnly.
The European Union is taking a strong stance, but our intelligence suggests that Onyx Petroleum currently employs 200 lobbyists in Brussels,” Maria continued. “Since European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker took office after the Blip, they have held 327 high-level meetings with top officials from the European Commission. As a result, they have successfully delayed, weakened, and undermined EU actions aimed at addressing the climate emergency. This has included diluting targets for renewable energy, energy efficiency, and greenhouse gas emissions, while also securing lucrative subsidies for fossil fuels.
Thor's voice was laced with sarcasm as he declared, "I'll give them a taste of what a true climate emergency looks like."
Steves brow furrowed. "How long has y/n known?"
"Since before the time of Rome," Tony replied, tapping his fingers on the table.
Bucky spoke up and asked, "Does Wanda know?"
Tony shook his head. "No, but she will understand soon. It's hurting y/n to keep this from her."
Sam leaned forward. "What's our next move?”
"Reconnaissance?" Clint proposed.
"No, infiltration," Bruce clarified.
"Can't y/n help us with that?" Nat asked.
“No, I already tried,” Tony sighed. “Her parents cut off her access to all their financial accounts and company databases when they disowned her.”
"Did they really disown her?" Yelena asked, her face twisting in anger.
"Yes, she turned 18 and refused to take over the family business," Maria interjected.
All eyes turned to the Deputy Director.
"The Overwatch provides ample opportunities for conversation," the brunette remarked.
“Where's their HQ located?" Peter asked.
"San Francisco, California," Maria answered.
"Scott," Steve said to himself.
“I'm going to contact the amazing Shrinking Felon," Tony declared. "In the meantime, let's support Wanda and y/n because this will go over like a lead balloon.
*^~^*
As you and Wanda stepped off the elevator, Wanda said, "Friday, please tell everyone to meet us in the common area."
The team slowly entered, their eyes on both of you standing in front of them.
Wanda took your hand and said, "Everyone, we have some news to share."
"We understand, and we want you to know we are here for you," Kate interrupted, smiling sympathetically.
Your eyes shot open in alarm as you frantically shook your head behind Wanda, desperate to catch her attention.
"Thank you?" Wanda replied, her voice tinged with confusion as she attempted to understand the young archer's words. Having grown accustomed to Kate's quirky remarks, she decided not to dwell on it for too long.
"What is it?" Yelena asked, moving closer and draping her arm around Kate's shoulder, silencing her.
"Y/N and I are moving in together!" she announced, pulling you into a tight hug and kissing your cheek.
The room was cloaked in a heavy silence that seemed to stretch on forever, the tension palpable. Suddenly, Steve's voice cut through the stillness like a knife, breaking the spell and drawing everyone's attention.
"Wow, that’s fantastic news, you two!" Steve exclaimed.
"Yes, congratulations!" Nat said, giving a warm hug.
As you embraced the Black Widow, she leaned in and whispered urgently, "We know.”
Captivated by her intense gaze, you found yourself speechless as your attention was gently drawn elsewhere.
"When are you planning to move?" Sam asked..
"Most of my belongings are already here, so it shouldn't be too complicated," you replied.
"We sure could use a strong super-soldier to help us with the move, especially since he was the one who displaced Y/N in the first place," Wanda said, giving Steve a sly look.
"Of course, I'll take care of it first thing in the morning," Steve assured.
"I'm in, too," Bucky added.
Wanda checked her watch as it emitted a beeping reminder.
I need to pick up Billy and Tommy from soccer practice. I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart." She kissed your lips and rested her hands on your shoulders. "I'm so excited.
“Me too.” You couldn't take your eyes off her as she entered the elevator, and the doors closed.
“I’m so screwed,” you muttered.
"What the hell was that?" Tony exclaimed, "I thought you were going to tell her."
"I know, but then she asked me to move in, and I just couldn't go through with it," you said, burying your face in your hands.
"Y/N, do you want Nat and me to be there when you tell her? It might make it easier for both of you," Maria offered.
"No, thank you. I need to handle this on my own," you said with a deep breath.
*^~^*
The next day, Steve and Bucky came by to help you and Wanda pack up your belongings. Together, you loaded everything into two of Tony's cars. You rode with Bucky, while Wanda got in with Steve. As the car raced down the open road, you found your gaze fixed on the passing scenery, lost in thought.
Bucky glanced over and tried to lighten the heavy mood. "That's a great impression of me," he joked.
You sighed and said, “Instead of jokes, could you give me advice on what to say to my girlfriend?”
“You tell her the truth,” Bucky said as if it were the simplest thing in the world. “She knows what you've been through with your parents and that you would never do anything to hurt her.”
As Bucky slowed for a red light, you noticed the redhead extending her hand out of the car window, offering a slight wave in your direction. You returned the gesture with a wave of your own.
“The longer you wait, the worse it will be when she finds out,” Bucky advised.
As the cars rolled into the driveway, Billy and Tommy stepped out of the house, welcoming you with warm, tight hugs.
“Hey, Billy and Tommy! How are you?” you greeted the two boys with a warm smile.
Billy smiled and said, 'We're good, but today is all about you.'
"Come on, we have a surprise for you!" Tommy exclaimed, grabbing your hand and leading you toward the house.
You glanced back at Wanda, who shook her head, uncertain.
Go ahead, y/n," Steve said, offering you an encouraging nod. "We'll get started here.
Billy and Tommy led you to the kitchen, and you gasped in amazement at seeing a homemade banner hanging across the kitchen cabinets that read, "Welcome home, Y/N!"
You were overwhelmed. "Aww, boys! This is so sweet.”
But the surprises didn't end there. With a mischievous grin, Tommy sped away and returned with a plate of fresh chocolate chip cookies in an instant.
“Wait, did you really make these yourselves?” you asked incredulously, raising your eyebrows in surprise.
Billy nodded enthusiastically and exclaimed, "We've been practicing since we made those brownies together while Mom was away."
"So, she lets you to use the stove by yourself?" you asked, a hint of skepticism in your voice.
"Well, she never said we couldn't," Tommy replied cheekily.
You couldn't help but chuckle. “Clever.”
Taking a bite of the cookie, you savored the warm, gooey chocolate chips, both chewy and crispy. "Oh my gosh, you guys! These are delicious!"
"Seriously?" they asked in perfect unison.
"Yes, well done, you two," you assured them, genuinely impressed.
Their faces lit up with joy as they exchanged a quick high-five.
Before leaving, you grabbed some cookies for Wanda and the guys. "Thank you so much, boys. You certainly made me feel welcome.”
*^~^*
The day was long and exhausting, but all the boxes were finally unpacked, and you were officially moved into your new home. Steve and Bucky graciously offered to take the boys out for dinner, giving you and Wanda some much-needed alone time. You ordered a pizza from your favorite restaurant. After dinner, you snuggled on the couch under a cozy blanket as soft, soothing music played in the background.
"I'm so happy you're here," Wanda said, gently caressing your cheek.
Me too," you said, leaning into her touch. "Thank you for wanting me; I know it takes a lot to open your life to someone.
There was a time when I thought I would never let anyone back into my life, especially after everything the boys and I have been through," she sighed. "But you... helped me break down those walls and regain my trust.
Her words made you pause. You knew it wasn't the right time, but you blurted it out before you realized what you were doing. “There's something I need to tell you," your voice wavering slightly.
"What's wrong?" Wanda asked, noticing the shift in your mood.
“Do you recall what I mentioned about my parents and Onyx Petroleum?” you asked.
“Of course, I know how much that hurt you, love,” Wanda said.
You exhaled nervously. "I found out that Onyx Petroleum is seeking approval to drill for Vibranium," you hesitated, your voice catching in your throat. "On what's left of Sokovian land.”
Wanda stared at you blankly for a moment, her thoughts struggling to catch up with your words. "I don’t understand," she finally said. "What do you mean by what's left of Sokovian land? There’s nothing left."
"I thought the same thing, but Tony said—" you began.
Wait a minute," Wanda interrupted. "Does Stark know? How long have you been aware of this?
Just before Rome," you confessed.
In that moment, the pain was unmistakable in her eyes. "You've known this entire time, and you didn't say anything?" she asked, slowly standing up from the sofa.
“I wanted to tell you, sweetheart. I did, but I didn't know how to express it. The truth is, they are trying to obtain permission from neighboring countries to conduct an underwater drilling operation. However, the team is working on it and will put a stop to it. I promise.”
Wanda’s lip trembled at your words. "You promise? How can you promise anything? You lied to me."
I would never lie to you,” you insisted.
"Every moment you spent with me over the last two weeks that you didn't reveal was a lie," she argued, tears welling in her eyes.
You took a deep breath, trying to stop your tears from falling. “Honey,” you began, reaching for Wanda, but she pulled away, leaving your heart shattered.
“Please don’t,” her voice cracked as she wiped tears from her cheeks. “I need some time alone.”
You nodded and stepped back, giving her some space. Wanda slowly turned around and walked to her bedroom. You sank back onto the sofa and cried.
It was far from the ideal start to your new life together.
Taglist: @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @bibliophilicbi @darkstar225
Random Thoughts on The Falcon and The Winter Soldier:
I am aware that every line in every scene is there for dramatic and/or comedic purposes. So there's no need to point that out. It isn't that I didn't get the point or the joke. This is also nothing against Amy Aquino, who plays Dr. Raynor. This is just an opinion piece based on the reality that the show wants us to accept.
Trigger warnings for mental health and mental health treatment, and power dynamics.
From an actual standpoint of mental health and therapy, in 2024, Dr. Raynor is a terrible therapist.
So many reasons! Let's start with when she said to Bucky "The government wants to make sure you aren't gonna (mimes stabbing people)". A therapist, of all people, would always use their words! Always! Bucky communicates verbally, so the therapist must also. If she was afraid to say it to Bucky then she shouldn't have brought it up. Also, if she hasn't caught on yet that Bucky's major problem is that he was a killer and that haunts him, Bucky should have a different therapist. So she shouldn't have approached such a sensitive topic in such a flippant way. That would just make him shut down.
I think this plan about making a list and making amends with the 3 rules was something she put in place as part of his treatment plan. Doesn't seem like the sort of thing Bucky would come up with on his own, and I doubt that the government would condone him making contact with former Hydra members or families of his victims unless it was part of a sanctioned treatment plan, at least. That shows that as a therapist, she is results driven. If a results driven therapist asks if you're having nightmares, they will next want to know what you are doing to alleviate the problem. So Bucky most likely says no because he knows she doesn't actually care about the nightmares. They have probably already had that conversation once. When Sam asks the same question, Bucky says "All the time," without hesitation. Also, if she was any kind of a therapist, she would have asked enough questions to know that Bucky isn't having nightmares, he is having flashbacks, which is a different mental process.
"Give me your phone." No, absolutely not! That tramples on so many privacy boundaries, it is unreal! It is also a misuse of power, and the power dynamic, because what if he says no? She has the power to tell the government that he is a dangerous psychopath and get him locked away forever.
But, after invading his privacy in this way, she uses the information she gets to criticize and mock him? No. That is doubling down on the abuse of the power dynamic.
"What do you want now?"
"Peace."
"THAT IS UTTER BULLSHIT!"
Ummmmm, no. If a client is lying to the therapist, or to themselves, you deal with it in a completely different way. Yelling is never okay. Telling a person with mental health problems that you don't believe what they are saying, calling them a liar, is not treatment. She gives no context for why she thinks that is a lie, or why she thinks Bucky would lie to her. Or why she thinks that he would lie about that subject.
Finally, the notebook thing is absolutely passive aggressive. "You don't talk, I write." That is psychological manipulation. I can only imagine that whatever she writes is used in the weekly report she sends to the government. What if she writes that he is being uncooperative? The parole is revoked, he gets locked up. So she is putting him in a situation where he is forced to say something. But not about his true problems, nor will it be truthful information. We see that he lies to her when describing what he did to cross the most recent name off of the list. Which, of course he does! Along with that, step 3, being forced to identify yourself as the Winter Soldier and by name as who you are now, is incredibly dangerous and puts him in a very vulnerable position. That entire thing is completely out of whack with good, safe, mental health treatment.
I'm sure I have left things out, but this is long enough already. I'll do another post on the second session that we see.
Again ymmv, your mileage may vary. Meaning that these opinions are mine alone. They do not invalidate yours, or anyone else's who has written or spoken on the subject. No offense is meant. Your view of the subject is valid and I am not trying to negate that view by expressing my own.
In closing, when you first enter the office of a therapist, take pictures of, or write down, the information on the credentials they have displayed. If there are no credentials displayed, ask why and what their credentials are. If your therapist ever makes you feel threatened or ridiculed, don't go back! Ever! And report them to whatever organization their displayed licenses are from.
Dr. Raynor was a terrible therapist pt. 2
Collider
On 'The Falcon and the Winter Soldier's Curiously Iffy Relationship With Therapy
By Gregory Lawrence
Mar 28, 2021
I’ve been going to therapy for many years, and if you’re reading this, I suggest you do, too. It’s an exceptional tool in the ongoing journey of one’s mental health, a place where you can speak and be listened to without agenda. The therapists I’ve spoken with in my life have one common trait: Unflappability. They are professionals at navigating the complicated emotional lives of their clients while not becoming destructively emotional themselves. They don’t pursue anything but giving you a runway to find your truth.
The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is a welcomely grounded Marvel Cinematic Universe series, one less interested in the “big three” of supernatural baddies (“androids, aliens, and wizards,” as Anthony Mackie’s Falcon phrases it) and more interested in the traumas and struggles of getting chewed up and spit out by the systems of regular-ass life. Yes, Mackie’s Sam and Sebastian Stan’s Bucky are fierce warriors who have used state-of-the-art tech and super-soldier serums respectively to battle all kinds of strange folks. But two episodes in, the series’ fights are human-to-human, full of shades and nuance, and often hamstrung by the cruel machinations of a society so determined to make life hard for people (especially returning veterans).
That’s why I was happy to see Amy Aquino show up as Dr. Christina Raynor, Bucky’s court-ordered therapist, in the very first episode. As made evident by Bucky’s nightmare of the merciless acts of violence he took while under Hydra mind control (rendered with shocking horror-tinged brutality by series director Kari Skogland), he needs therapy badly. In their initial sequence together, we see Bucky behave the way we often see troubled protagonists behave in therapy scenes: He plays the silent treatment at best and is openly antagonistic at worst. He baldly lies to his mental health professional about his own mental health. I understand that our (anti)hero can’t suddenly be enlightened and peaceful and ready to move on from his inner conflict; I want to see him go through this journey over the season of television. But I still couldn’t help but want to scream through the TV at him, “Just tell her the truth! You’re only hurting yourself!”
Depiction doesn’t equal endorsement, especially when it comes to a complicated character like Bucky who has objectively committed murders, but there’s something that continues to be complicated about seeing the center of our journey, the person we’re to align ourselves with being so resistant toward mental health wellness, perhaps to provoke a response of “Aw, I understand, I’d behave the same way. Therapy is weird!”
Then again, Dr. Christina Raynor might not be the best therapist for Bucky, or any client. Dramatic license must be taken in any depiction of real life. Unlike the often aimless moments of regular-ass life, dramatic scenes must involve conflict, intention, agency, and a visible drive toward a visible goal. Thus Dr. Raynor, like many film and television therapists before her, takes an aggressive approach toward “meeting the goal of making Bucky well,” poking and prodding at him, trying her best to “get him there.” She simply drips with derision and disdain at every level of her interaction with poor Bucky, even snarkily acting out his past tendencies to commit brainwashed murders. On the one hand, she needs to behave like this for the function of the scene; to watch a character be a blank slate of non-provocation without any goal of her own would likely make a boring scene. The way the scene plays is a strong visualization of Bucky’s resistance and Dr. Raynor’s (and the audience’s) desire for him to know peace. But as she kept poking and prodding and needling and frowning, even while insisting that Bucky needs to trust her, I thought to myself, “Of course he’s not speaking up. Who’d want to spill their innermost secrets to this force who obviously has an aggressive agenda?” The scene attempts to justify some of this behavior by reminding us that Dr. Raynor is a soldier who’s seen combat herself. But the moment a therapist tells you “That’s utter bullshit” is the moment you find a new therapist, dramatic license or not.
Episode 2 pumps up some of the oddness of this therapy dynamic by injecting it with one of the key secrets to the MCU’s sauce: Tension-cutting banter. After Bucky is arrested for not showing up to one of his court-mandated sessions (another complicated moment of positioning the viewer as finding therapy to be an impediment to the characters’, and show’s, action), Dr. Raynor forces both Bucky and Sam to sit down in front of her and figure out what’s tearing them apart. Surprisingly, and quite touchingly, Stan and Mackie play this scene earnestly, the pain they feel toward each other and themselves seeping from the corners of their eyes into their full figures, even as they do bantery things like move their chairs close together without knocking their knees together.
But Dr. Raynor is over here roasting and toasting them like a damn Friars Club gala. She glibly but stridently positions the exercises she wants them to do as normally being done by romantic couples, not giving them any chance to breathe at the slightest moment of resistance, cutting her patients off at the knees under the auspices of helping them stand. She is sarcastic throughout, saying things like “No volunteers? How surprising,” and “Sweet Jesus” with the tenor of a middle school gym teacher ragging on the math nerd who’s getting whomped in dodgeball. And yes, there’s an attempt at fun and bravado in these back-and-forths, the way we see all kinds of other fun back-and-forths in other “serious” MCU moments, the way we see Sam and Bucky constantly treat each other like bickering children. But not every single moment of the MCU needs to possess this kind of tone, especially not when we’re trying to watch a mental health professional deal with such clearly damaged clients.
All of this, this brevity and impatience and snarkiness, is perhaps more understandable and better played in this episode, given the emotional states of our title characters and the fact that it’s framed by an increasingly sleazy, dehumanizing new Captain America (Wyatt Russell, simply throwing away the line, “He’s too valuable of an asset to have tied up, so just do whatever you gotta do with him, then send him off to me”). But it’s still odd and brittle in a way I find unnecessary, even unhelpful. The sequence ends with a genuine moment of clarity and understanding — a breakthrough, even — between Sam and Bucky, even though it ends with Sam leaving the room. Dr. Raynor’s response, simply, is a sarcastic, “Thank you. That was really great.”
“No bullshit tough love,” to use a word Dr. Raynor is fond of, is a sensible stylistic choice for any character in Falcon and the Winter Soldier, but I worry it comes at the cost of actual human connection, change, or empathy in these very sensitive moments. And I worry it all comes at a cost of further demonizing seeking therapy as a viable option for anyone watching. I love the way The Falcon and the Winter Soldier pushes forward in its darker-than-usual plottings, but I really love the way it stands still in its darker-than-usual emotional explorations. I don’t want Dr. Raynor, nor performer Amy Aquino, to suddenly become clipped or dampened or in any way made less of a human being. I just hope Dr. Raynor’s own in-universe therapist tells her to get out of the way of her own bullshit and let the characters explore themselves in future episodes.
basically(?)
hmmm.... AU where Bucky continues to see Dr. Raynor after the finale of TFATWS and she has to deal with him being head-over-heels in love with Sam, and apparently completely oblivious about it
Bucky: I ✈️ visited 🥰 💖 SAM 🦅 😍 and he took me to the 🐠 🦈 aquarium 🐟 🐡 in New Orleans 💜 💚 💛
Dr. Raynor, tired, far too sober: That sounds like a wonderful date--
Bucky: 😳 What? 😳 It was 🙅♂️ NOT 🚫 a 😤 DATE 😤 . Date? 😕 😕 😕 He’s just my 💕 🫂 friend 🫂 💕 who has soft 🧴 hands ✋🏿 ✋🏿 and ✨ beautiful ✨ 👁️ eyes 👁️ 🤩 🤩 🤩
Dr. Raynor: What are you grateful for, James?
Bucky: Sam's di-
Dr. Raynor: *glares*
Bucky:-eeeeeeelightful personality.