Mar 27
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INT. AFRO-ELF DOT TUMBLR DOT ORG EVIL LAIR - NIGHT
KENDRA sips tea, winding down for the night. she lets out a content sigh.
THE BIG RED BUTTON ON THE CONTROL PANEL IN FRONT OF HER LABELED 'POTENTIAL NEW WHITE BOY OF THE MONTH' FLASHES WILDLY.
kendra's eyes widen.
kendra:
oh?
she presses the button and the screen shows a screenshot of a tweet about will poulter.
kendra freezes, her hands shake and her jaw drops. HER MUG CRASHES TO THE GROUND AND EXPLODES INTO A THOUSAND SHARDS.
kendra:
this wasn't in my predictions!
kendra furiously shuffles through her files. the emergency alarm starts blaring above her head
YOU GUYS
So I had the same pillows since birth and they were my sister's pillows before that. They were compressed and thin as paper. The two of them together didn't make up the thickness of a normal pillow. But I was used to that! I used those thin fucking pillows and a folded comforter and I was satisfied. I'd gone so long without normal pillows I didn't even know what they'd feel like.
But my girlfriend. She hated my pillows with a passion, and she spends a lot of nights at my apartment. So one day when I was at Target I thought "Hmm, I'd like to do something to make my gf more comfy when she stays with me." So I got four nice pillows.
Let me tell you, these fucking pillows have changed my life. They're squishy. They're beautiful. I have never felt more comfortable in bed than now that I have these pillows. Did I mention there's four of them? Four fucking squishy amazing pillows. I have never been more delighted. These pillows are the best things that have ever happened to me. My girlfriend changed my life by convincing me to get better pillows. I owe her and these pillows my life.
trust the time i try to download the ep for the first time in ages for it to STILL NOT BE UP 😭
ok well i really see no point in the music industry continuing on any further after this so pack it up boys there's no point in releasing anything after this album
So glad I don’t regularly watch an nl team bc if I had to hear about y*lich more than I already do I would have to quit watching baseball all together :)
Just got off a call with my sister who's in Shetland the now on holiday. She tells me that I need to come up in January with her to see the Viking festival cause she wants to get me a big bearded boyfriend.
Little does she know that I'm in a full force mental health spiral thinking I might not get a chance depending on what the fuck is inside me.
trailing 2-0 i’m full of despair