Watching Hedgehogs Forming an Army
Title: Watching Hedgehogs Forming an Army
Genre: C O M E D Y. (seriously, that is what it mostly is. I could write something romantic in this, but the title is just-)
Pairing: Izaya/Shizuo/Masaomi/Mikado x reader (all separate)
Notes: Okay, so before you start reading, do note that this whole idea is coming from a random thing I sent out to my friends on Snapchat. (Remind me to proceed with caution if I ever decide to do this again.)
Otherwise, I had been wanting to write something for DRRR for a while, and this gave me the most in depth idea for the specific characters and just- ugH, IDEA GOLD.
Below the cut!
Izaya Orihara
the fact that you and him got together was a mystery to the whole of Shinjuku and Ikebukuro.
seriously, this man is notorious for playing with people’s emotions and desires
so how the hell did he snag someone as nice as you?
no clue, but what they didn’t know is that you played with him
turn the game on its head, y’know?
that said, you two rarely ever went out on dates that weren’t at more upscale places.
one date? five star restaurant, VIP room. managed to snag free drinks for the both of you while he was at it.
another one? laying low at one of your homes, though there was a plethora of gourmet foods that he had shipped from out of country
(by some damn magic - you didn’t know, and didn’t care to ask)
otherwise, when things as simple as this happened, things came easy to the both of you
some ice cream for you, a black coffee for him, and the two of you skipping through the park happily.
this particular day, though, you saw something very sus
there was an outrageous amount of hedgehogs gathered.
no reason, no purpose whatsoever, just gathering in a corner of the park.
izaya didn’t notice the meetup until he noticed that you weren’t beside him.
with his eyebrows raised, shocked
he then saw you, slack-jawed, watching a hoard of hedgehogs
the general image just drove him to laugh, but you heard him
and you jumped to stop him.
“shut up, don’t say a single word.”
“i wasn’t planning on it, but now that you mention it-”
cue you shoving a hand over his mouth to stop him from doing anything
you both just watched the group
nothing more, nothing less.
there was the odd sip of coffee or spoonful of ice cream, but otherwise?
just staring.
“do you think they’re getting ready to fight someone?”
“i don’t know, s/o, are they?”
“no seriously! are they teaming up to go to a fight, or are they doing this to defend their nest or something?”
“again, i don’t know, s/o. but that is a good question.”
...silence...
“maybe they’re trying to climb on top of each other and form a mega-bot or something.”
“i highly doubt that.”
yeah, there wasn’t much else to look at.
your theories were brushed over in favor of watching the group gather closer.
people stopped to stare at you two
they even tossed the idea that you two were oddly placed statues
but they recognized izaya
they knew that no, these are not, in fact, statues, but people standing scarily still
watching something intently.
they just walked off, eventually, but the thought never left.
and yes, you two were still staring when shizuo spotted the sight while looking for someone to pay off their debts.
and, of course, at the sight of izaya, he flipped his shit and screamed.
that was the cue to leave before you both got crushed.
luckily, after being with izaya for some time, you got used to the chase and were able to evade the tall blonde
you both made it to your apartment, and had jumped to conclusions
“they were trying to fight someone by forming a gigantic robot-like figure!”
“no, they were forming an army to fight back!”
“or maybe they were doing that to defend their den!”
“or they were gathering together to have an or-”
“don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
the ideas kept getting thrown back and forth
though what you two didn’t know was that they were gathering for a ritual
calling upon their hedgehog gods and completing their personal little summoning
(it went well, for anyone wondering).
Shizuo Heiwajima
you and him?
you’ve gotta be shitting me.
you, an outgoing and happy smol bean (who was actually lacking any instinct to care about someone)
and him, the big angry tol bean that could care less about anyone (though that was a lie)?
yeah, can’t happen
unless...
so, this was a date.
normally, they stayed in the realm of indoors.
eating dinner together? at his kitchen table.
movie night? on your couch, in your apartment.
seriously, you both rarely had dates outside of the comfort of your homes.
so this date was a blessing in disguise.
it was nearing noon,
shizuo had come by your apartment around 11:30 that morning
a cup of coffee in his hand for you, a blush on his face
from there on, you two had spent the day relaxing together (though it was a fairly short time)
you two were walking past a park around this time
and you were watching the sunlight peek through the trees with wonder
of course, a few people waved to you and you waved back,
but when you spotted something odd, everything just seemed to freeze.
hedgehogs, gathered beside a bush, almost climbing on top of the other
almost as if to fight for something among each other.
your gasp is what drew shizuo out of the euphoric state he was in just by watching your eyes light up.
straight outta the gate, he would probably be visibly confused.
and pissed.
but he’d let it slide.
maybe.
it wasn’t until you exclaimed that there were more that he had an outburst.
“the hell’d you say?”
“there are more going to the bush, shizuo.”
silence, upon silence, upon silence.
until one of the children in the park shout at you to say hi.
you responded of course, but it still annoyed you
but it annoyed the blonde beside you even more.
“hey, leave her be!”
“dammit, shizuo - ignore him, have a nice day, you two!”
the child’s mother laughed and brushed it off.
you pulled shizuo back and went back to watching the hedgehogs.
though he was initially bothered, the sight was interesting to watch.
you two had been theorizing why they were gathering
“maybe they’re watching over one of their children.”
“or, maybe they are trying to build their den there.”
“well, yeah. but they’re climbing on top of each other.”
“good point, babe.”
(yay pet names! coming from him, that meant a lot!)
this continued for around fifteen minutes before they up and left.
you two went about the rest of your days nicely, dropping the topic
but it did come up when you were talking to your friend over lunch the next day
and also when shizuo was at work - tom was trying to figure out the reason as well.
otherwise, it was ignored.
the whole story, though:
the hedgehogs were gathering for something private
something that the humans would call a ‘meme’.
a fight club.
and the first rule of fight club?
you don’t talk about fight club.
Masaomi Kida
you and him?
that was expected.
for this long?
that was not expected.
people thought that you two would just call it a fling, and you’d be done
not the case, and you two were ready to wreak havoc all over school grounds if the time called for it.
but otherwise, you two were pretty tame with each other
also very flirty
but that was a different story.
otherwise, dates with him were very much everywhere
if you wanted to get some food, you two would go to russian sushi and then more
a movie? great, let’s hit up the bowling alley afterwards!
dates like this one were both odd and normal
it was expected that you’d do something following the first part (breakfast and gaming videos with him)
but doing something as simple as walking through a park was almost unheard of unless there was a big event going on
but you weren’t complaining
sometimes you just need some calm, and that is exactly what was going on
until, in a fit of giggles, masaomi had spotted a large group of hedgehogs in a secluded corner of the park
“whoa, look at that, s/o!”
“huh, what do you-”
you saw them.
you also noticed that they were almost expressing something.
whether that was anger, simple frustration, or whateverthehell, you didn’t know
but you noticed it and brought it up.
“kida, they’re moving. what do you think they’re doing?”
“a game plan? something to get food?”
“maybe they’re building something?”
“nope, they’re not holding anything.”
the whole situation, contrary to anything else that would have happened, came and went
after you two stared at the slowly growing crowd for almost fifteen minutes.
you sat down to do it, though!
(yay to less foot pain!)
either way, you two had started to toss back outlandish theories.
“trying to form a fight club?”
(haha funny-)
“or maybe a hedgehog ritual?”
(haha funny number 2-)
“possibly they could be having an or-”
(i wanna commit die for the amount of times i’ve pulled this shit istg-)
“kida.”
yeah, things got quiet after that.
you two were still watching the hedgehogs do whatever they and their expressions were doing,
but when you both hit a head and couldn’t conjure up anymore crazy ideas
you just shrugged it off and left the park.
it didn’t come up again, not even when kida dragged you from your shift at a nearby bookstore after it ended to do something in the city.
anything, really.
the night ended calmly, though.
the hedgehogs, though?
yeah, their night didn’t end that way.
that crowd of them that you two had seen was a hedgehog acting troupe, and thei performance schedule was outrageous.
the horror play’s lead was covered in a mess of honey, the comedy lead’s day was prolonged due to the original lead being sick, and the romantic lead had tried to avoid snapping the neck of her male co-lead.
yeah, clean-up for them didn’t go well.
Mikado Ryuugamine
you and mikado had been friends for a while
considering that you are kida’s (older) twin, you two got along fairly well
you and him were able to bond over dealing with your brother’s antics.
so the connection you two had grown to develop was easy to be expected.
and, seeing as you were the mature one of the twins, you attracted mikado very quickly.
otherwise, you both found over-the-top dates to be unnecessary.
so you both basked in the time that the both of you spent privately.
study dates were normal. get your work done, get some quick food, all was good.
sometimes you two would lay back and watch your current television obsession together.
so with things as simple and somewhat cliche as that, park dates were normal.
and since you both wanted some fresh air (and a break from your brother), you jumped at the chance to take a walk.
it was late afternoon, you had stopped by russian sushi and were finishing some dollar-drinks you picked up from a convenient store.
you two held hands, deciding to run the rest of the day through somewhat peacefully.
kida was out, though, so you were both on guard.
which also meant that when you two spotted him, you hid
you found a bench that was covered by trees and shadows, and decided to sit down
mikado was panting, you were still peeping and hoping that the dyed-blonde sibling of yours was gone
and he was, so you relaxed.
while you were watching, you noticed some movement from the corner of your eye.
it was slightly dull against green, so you found it a little hard to miss.
“hey, mikado, what’s going on in that corner?”
“huh? uh, i don’t- i don’t know.”
you got a closer look, and saw that they were hedgehogs.
there was two crowds of them, facing each other
your eyes may have been deceiving you, but you could have sworn that one of them was glaring at the frontman of the opposing group
and that their lackey was gracing an expression of calm
but hedgehogs don’t express emotions like that so you tossed that thought out the metaphorical window.
mikado, though, was trying not to let any of his wild ideas slip.
he had a filter, though, so he didn’t say anything.
you could notice when this happened, though.
“say it, mikado; you’re not good at hiding what you’re thinking around me, y’know.”
“well, what do you think they’re doing?”
silence
(yet again.)
“i...don’t know, actually.”
the silence hung high, but neither of you were willing to spill any odd theories you had.
some of the time that you were watching was spent theorizing, though.
just internally.
(seriously, if internal dialogue was going to be mentioned in depth, this portion of the post would be outrageous)
eventually, you just settled for watching them.
any conversation that you two had was about something other than what you were staring at, but that didn’t stop you.
soon enough, it started to get dark and you got a message from kida.
he was struggling with dinner, and since you didn’t want to burn down your living, the you had to hurry.
you had made it clear that you had to leave, took mikado’s empty drink and pitched it on your way back.
mikado left not long after you, eyeing the hedgehogs in confusion
but leaving nonetheless.
you brought the event up to kida (without mentioning that it was to hide from him, of course), and he made a huge deal out of it.
mikado brought the topic up to him over the phone as well.
but it was generally just left up in the air.
rarely ever came up between you and anyone else, but it still hung over your heads.
otherwise, the events between the hedgehogs was very new.
in fact, one side of the hedgehogs were squirrels in disguise.
they were having a conversation about how to invade and seize the squirrels’ home, and one of the disguised squirrels had said something to provoke the leader of the hedgehogs.
they were planning an attack on the other, and there would be blood not matter what.
it was a damn turf war, of course they would want their enemy’s heads on a platter.