Dec 16, 2021
B o n k.
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B o n k.
Me: A drunk off of berries female robin has been running into my bedroom window since 10 this morning.
10am: First notice bird running into my window repeatedly.
11am: Cracked open a separate window and yell at bird... bird leaves.
1102am: The bird is back.
1130am: Friend on the outside shoes bird away.
1140am: The bird is back.
1150am: crack window again yell at it... the bird doesn't leave.
12pm: I leave for lunch.
1pm: Came to grab some stuff from room. Bird still here. Stayed in room, because lazy.
0110pm: Brought my dog into my room in hopes it would scare off the bird.
0112pm: Dog does not care about bird.
0130pm: Got annoyed at bird and ran outside with a metal fence post.
0133pm: Chased bird away. Currently lying in wait.
0137pm: Bird tried to return to my window, but I was ready. Bird now up in a tree, but I see it.
0140pm: Got bored and went on with my day.
0230pm: Went by my room and bird was back.
0240pm: Anger rising. Bird now dubbed Wanda make me mad.
0300pm: Wright long dumb piece on tumblr about Wanda.
0305pm: Wanda is still running repeatedly into my window. I believe she should definitely have a concussion by now.
0308pm: Maybe I should turn this into a comic?
0310pm: Posting on tumblr about Wanda now. Might keep tumblr updated on situation later.
0400pm: Chased bird away with the fence post again.
0500pm: Wanda has yet to return... I don't miss her.
0640pm: everything was fine till 6:35 WHEN SHE CAME BACK! HER BEAK HAS LITERALLY CHANGED SHAPE SINCE THIS MORNING! WHEN WILL SHE LEARN!
Okay I'm drunk as fuck. Yeah it's ten am on a Wednesday morning, your point? LET ME BE DRUNK AND SAD. SO WE'RE DOING THIS WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.
Internet friends I'd call to my wedding and Why.
@thejinx : we're the going to karaoke the fuck out of lovejoy and cause chaos. Set stuff on fire. Alexa play Main character syndrome.
@shetheyvinyl @milonotthefish (my beloved who has not a tumblr anymore. May their blog rest in peace) @grocerystoreghost @theramblesofvie @cobble-stone @goatsodaz @gay-lovesongs we're stealing the band's instruments and doing los camp songs
@cryptid-tree you're. Literally obligated to speech and make sure I don't fall over and die while drunk.
@justaburnedoutskank also obligated to speech and get drunk with me.
@cor-is-a-mess just. Yes. We'll talk about how sad we were that it wasn't wilbur. Plus being british.
@sunflowerteaofficial YOU'RE OBLIGATED TO PLAY A SONG AND DANCE WITH ME BELOVED.
@placetofangirl the only chill person I can animatedly rant to about how crazy everyone else is being. I'll keep the breezer specifically for you.
@altdoppelganger you owe me a dance too. Plus we also have have have to just raid the dessert counter before it's ready.
@glitter-skeleton-uwu Also who I'll run to chill out with when jinx starts setting shit on fire.
@dyke-crossing I just think you'd be very funny to invite. Just. Yes.
Look at my meow meows.
*removes kidney*
*checks out Wilbur merch with kidney*
Albeit missing an organ, but happy nonetheless.
Can now tell my friends I got drunk with tnt duo good night kings, luv all of you cunts :DDDD
Me: why does my head hurt?
Also me: did not eat yesterday, got drunk, then proceeded to consume absolutely 0 water, still have not eaten
Fair warning that I'm going to be slightly drunk tonight so I'm sorry in advanced for anything I say or do