#écrit

[vhscorp]

Ton prénom est écrit sur chaque page de ma vie…

V. H. SCORP

[lerefugedeluza]

Nouvel article Substack : pensées sur le monde numérique qui prend de plus en plus de place & mon envie de retourner aux choses réelles.

-> À lire ici.

(Pour soutenir mon travail ~ Ko-Fi)

[marandsviet-amour]

Le temps n’efface rien, il dépose juste une fine couche de poussière sur les blessures.

[vanishingpieces]

J'aimerais retrouver les premières nuits où j'écrivais, avant les drames, je me rappelle : j'écrivais comme on s'abreuve après un jour de jeûne, que le soleil se couche ou que la lune disparaisse, mais surtout, ce qui me revient le plus, c'est mon amour pour toi.

Je t'ai aimé comme on aime une fois dans toute une vie, je ne suis pourtant que bien destiné à aimer autrui; 3 ans depuis toi, et toujours aussi féru d'amour je suis.

Alors comment aimerais-je cette fois ?

À quoi bon aimer si c'est se protéger en même temps, ne pas laisser la passion, la folie nous saisir pour nous plonger dans quelque chose de limite maladif, mais si éprenant, si agréable.

Je t'ai aimé jusqu'à n'en plus pouvoir.

J'ai parlé de toi à Dieu en me tenant comme un mendiant, jusqu'à ce qu'Il me donne de tes nouvelles, mais ce n'est pas ce que j'attendais.

Nous étions en bons termes, mais toujours séparés.

Pourquoi écris-je toujours sur toi après tout ce temps ?

J'ai juré que je ne t'aimais plus, que tout m'était passé, j'ai quelqu'un que je désire plus encore, mais qui ne daigne pas me regarder.

Je ne me souviens plus de rien à propos de toi, j'aimerais juste écrire à nouveau, écrire comme autrefois.

[feel-emotions-post-forget]

1. Confiance

J’étais serein, tout se passait bien. J’ai surpris des paroles, des mots. Ils m’ont blessés.

Je me retrouve perdu. Complètement paumé. Je ne sais plus quoi penser, je ne sais plus où me diriger.

De la déception, c’est ce que j’ai ressenti en premier lieu. Ensuite du dégoût avant de me rendre compte que j’ai eu affaire à la jalousie.

La jalousie fait mal au cœur, encore plus quand elle se rapproche de la perte de confiance. On se retrouver totalement déboussoler.

Les jours passent, le cerveau ne s’arrête jamais de penser. Jour et nuit.

La bouches est sèche, les mots sont incapables de sortir pour exprimer ce que je ressens.

J’attends que l’eau passe et coule sous les ponts en pensant que ça s’arrangera avec le temps et l’oublie. Comme d’habitude.

Mais ça ne l’est pas. Je suis rancunier, je n’arrive plus à oublier. Je n’arrive même plus à dormir sereinement.

Dimanche 6 juillet 2025, 11:04.

[acupofoanh]

2024, the year of many firsts

I can't believe that 2024 is already over. Time flies, especially now that I'm approaching my mid-thirties.

As a tradition, the new year is a time for me to reflect and acknowledge on what I achieved and where I need to improve.

2024 has definitely been a turning point in my life on many levels. It was a year of many firsts.

The biggest move this year was that I finally realized one of my dreams : becoming a journalist ! I wanted to do this job since I was 13 years old but growing up asian in France, there were no representation of asian in the medias and also asian families don't encourage their children to pursue this kind of career. Also, I received a lot of negative comments coming from adults, discouraging me, saying that I was too shy and that I was not vocal enough. Turned out that I was an introvert and that doesn't mean that I couldn't be a journalist. I also got a comment from my own genitor, saying that I was not pretty enough to do this job. Yes, adults telling those things to a child. I ended giving up this dream and pursued the classic path. But, I always felt miserable in my corporate jobs and the dream of becoming a journalist never faded. When I hit my thirties, I was more confident, so I started to look into changing my career path. It is finally after my year of expatriation in Ireland, that I signed up for a degree in multimedia journalism at the age of 33. Started in September 2023 and graduated in April 2024. Since then, I worked at a local journal this summer and did an internship in one of the biggest radio station in the world covering international news, Radio France Internationale. Now that 2024 has ended, I'm proud of how far I've come.

Getting back in the dating scene. That one is a really scary one. As someone with detachment and anxiety disorders due to CPTSD, emotional and physical neglect, getting close to people in a romantic way is probably my biggest struggle. I never found someone with who I totally clicked. Truth is I unconsciously reject people that try to get close to me or let people in, because I'm scared. This year I forced myself to meet new people. I can' t say that was a success, but it's a first step and I still want to continue on this path.

My first trip to Copenhague in Denmark ! My first time in a nordic country. That definitely was a highlight of 2024. I've always been attracted to this part of the world and this trip confirmed my love for it. I see myself living there. The way of life, the cultural scene, the architecture, the food... I can't wait to be back.

2024 was also the year where my body showed signs of aging. Ok, I'm only 34 but at this age the body is less flexible. If I sleep in a weird position, my body will ache the next morning. That's how I got for the first time ever, a stiff neck followed by terrible positional vertigoes after hours of non stop scrolling on the phone. That was one month before the start of my first job as a journalist. So stressful. The stiff neck was ok but the positional vertigoes, WOW, I didn't know what it was when I got it. If you have this for the first time it's really impressive because your head spin around even when you are laying on your bed. Very stressful but it eventually went away by itself (not totally though). The doctor doesn't really know why it happened in my case but I suspect the stiff neck combined with the obsessive scrolling on the phone for hours in a weird position is the reasons. Since then, I've reduced my time on the phone.

Naturally after the previous point which was a big signal from my body, I've decided to get a routine. Yoga in the morning and 2 to 3 times a week, doing gain strength exercices. For the first time in my life, I've been consistent to a routine. I remember the first few weeks were hard to stay motivated but finally, it has become a part of my life. And now, if I miss the routine, I feel something is lacking.

What can I wish for 2025 ? Well, the same commandments that I try to follow since my thirties.

I hope to stay true to myself,

and keep letting go things that I can't control. In other words, be less dramatic about things, I'm such an emo kid deep down.

Less screen time !!! For more reading. I'm challenging myself to read one book per month, which I failed doing in 2024.

Enjoying the present moment and not taking for granted my time with my family.

And the last one, creating, developing and maintaining genuine relationships.

Bye 2024, you've been kind to me, not easy sometimes but overall, I learned so much about myself and my abilities.

I wish you all a happy new year.

Kiểu Oanh

[faustinepau]

Fin d'été

Bleu bulbe bulleux

"Bluepoint" pointilleux

Harmonies délicates

chantent un Magnificat.

La chaude saison dans sa grisaille fait glisser ses écailles sur sa solide tige.

Dans une douce voltige, de jaunes et roux mêlés, l'automne constellé brasse ses particules dans les dernières canicules.

L'été mourra, tel est sa destinée, mais pas sans lambiner, pas sans adieux flamboyants, pas sans nectars gouleyants.

C'était ses dernières paroles, avant qu'il ne se brise contre un méchant abrolle, ayant pour nom trompeur... La bise.

21/11/2024 © Dominique Pitchon

Aucune information concernant ce beau tableau. Désolée, j'ai pourtant cherché.

Vocabulaire : abrolle terme de marine désignant un récif dangereux.

[super-caribe-suomi1012]

“La vie est une comédie absurde qui se joue devant une multitude et se termine dans la solitude”

Moliere