Nothing to Lose - E.M. Lindsey
Once upon a time, in a small seaside town, a happy man living a happy life brings other people joy with his delicious bakes.
And then a storm cloud moves in next door, and suddenly things are…different.
A war between them is brewing, like a hurricane offshore, and if Peyton isn’t careful, Hudson is going to sweep him into the raging waters like a tsunami.
Nothing To Lose is a previously released serial novel set in a small-town featuring a grumpy neighbor with a secret profession, a sunshine baker who thinks a few well baked, browned butter cookies can solve a lot of problems, a stray cat, a noisy bird, and the sweetest happily ever after.
Nothing to Lose is incredibly heartwarming, but also incredibly heartbreaking. Peyton and Hudson tell their stories truthfully, and authentically. They don’t shy away from the all of the truths of their respective disabilities, and the limitations and challenges that can sometimes come their way. Their lives have been changed in very permanent ways – but these changes never hold them back. Or, at the very least, they try not to let them.
Peyton is sunshine personified. And even though he shows that on the surface, he’s hurting. He’s hurting, and he’s frustrated, and he’s angry, and he feels like he’s lost something huge. And some days he works through those feelings with ease, and other days he doesn’t. And he accepts that living with Crohn’s is a part of who he is. And while he’s still finding his way to his new normal, he focuses on the good – his booming home baking business, his relationships with his brother and his best friend, and his grumpy new neighbour he’s determined to win over with baked goods.
Hudson has been through hell. He’s survived a benign tumour that injured his spine and left him partially paralyzed from the waist down. He’s survived adapting to his new normal, through treatments and physical therapy, and he’s survived a really shitty husband who left him right in the middle of it all. And he’s survived the trauma of being raised by a narcissist. And despite all that, Hudson has come out on top. He has a successful business, a solid best friend who has his back, and a future ahead of him. But he’s still who he’s always been – a grumpy curmudgeon who doesn’t need to make friends, no matter how enticing the baker’s muffin’s look.
And in true trope fashion, the sunshine sneaks in through the cracks in the storm clouds. Peyton and Hudson get to know each other better. They have very, very frank discussions with each other about living with their new abilities. And they learn to trust each other, and care for each other.
At this point, we all know I’m a sucker for a grumpy/sunshine slow burn romance. And this book has that. But it didn’t feel like the main focus of the book. To me, the main focus was how resilient the human body can be, and how adaptable we can be to our new normals, new abilities, and new challenges and limitations when our bodies change in very big, very permanent ways. To me, the main focus of this book was that when your world gets turned upside down, you can move forward, adapt, and keep going. Taking the bad days with the good days, and just doing our best.
I do not relate to some these things. Yes, I have migraines. Yes, I have chronic pain. Yes I have good days and bad days and days where getting out of bed makes me want to have a mental breakdown. But I simply can’t relate to the ways Peyton and Hudson have adapted their lives to their bodies. I don’t know how authentic these experiences are. But they felt real to me. I felt what they were feeling. I was right there on that ride with them as they were feeling their feelings and expressing themselves.
And that’s why I loved this book so much. I loved their individual journeys through their good and bad days, but I also loved their journey to each other. I loved that they got to know each other, and they had hard discussions, and they talked about the good days and the bad days together. I loved that they took their time finding their way to each other.
Honestly, I just loved it all. And I would read it all over again and again on my own good days and bad days, and all the days in between.
