If You Let Me. ii | KNJ 18+
Author: hey guys! This is a sequel(?) To If you let me. (m) . Honestly Idk what made me want to write this lol but I suggest reading that first to get a better understanding before this one. Or hopefully its good either way without it lol.
Previously- If You Let Me. [part one]
Discription: for 4 long years- he kept his promise. There wasn’t a single moment you ever doubted his love for you. or so you thought …
Genre: angst, smut, fluff? (If you want it bad enough)
Pairing: Husband!Namjoon x Reader [ ft. tae and hobi]
Quote: “4 years ago today, I told you how deeply in love I am with you….how perfect you are for me. I promised you, that I would never make you feel like you werent enough….it seems I somehow managed to break that”
A knock sounds gently on your door waking you from your hallow state. You stare at it blankly before mumbling the words ‘come in ‘ to your visitor.
“ Noona?” Taehyung, the boy that was like your close little brother whispers as soon as he opens your door. “ I know you’re mad at Joon hyung…b-but can I come in still?” He asked you nervously. You comment yes for the first time in a while and settle back against the headboard of your bed. you thought about telling him not to call you that like you usually did but, but did you really have the energy?
It had been four years. Four years since Namjoon had proposed to you, and promised you forever with him. four years since he broke down the tough wall your ex-fiancee kai had managed to build.
a sad smile came on your face and tears started to brim in your eyes.
you blinked , it seemed as if everything was feeling a little too familiar. you remember blinking back so many tears over kai and now it scared you to do the same for Joon. Tae , watching his beautiful noona with a sorrowed expression, walked into the semi-dark room and sat comfortably on your bed. “noona-”
“Tae pleeaasee… just call me y/n -okay?” you rub his shoulder. he nods gulping at the intimate gesture, it wasn’t that he was attracted to you- which of course he was. It was that, for the past few weeks since you’d kicked his best friend out of your house - you could barely manage to look at him nor hoseok either. he couldn’t blame you, of course you wouldn’t trust the two closest males to him- for all you knew they were part of the problem as well. but they stayed persistent, promising their Hyung to always look after you even while he was away..
your hand fell miserably from him and he gently took it in his. there was so much he wanted to say to you, but he was afraid he’d set your relationship back. he didn’t want you to hate him and think that he was just another guy trying to take up for his shitty friend.
Tae wanted to take up for a great friend. the man who was also a great husband for you. while he didn’t know the full details of the situation, he also knew that it wasn’t anything you guys couldn’t fix.
you guys weren’t perfect, this isn’t the first time you and namjoon have had a falling out. it would usually end with him on your living room couch and you strutting torturously around him in his t-shirt with nothing else underneath.
it didn’t end with him gone in some random city, doing who knows what and possibly with some women better than you. “ would he even be wrong?” you thought bitterly to yourself.
your heart burned, because deep down, you knew this was all your fault. thats right, you ran him away. yelling at him, screaming angrily, disrespectfully pushing him out your front door without a single word, without even letting him speak. he didn’t fight, he didn't protest…it was almost like he’d given up. he hasn’t called you or texted - hell you don’t think he even took his phone with him.
what you knew for sure was that he didn’t want contact with you, and he definitely wasn’t thinking about you. he was still attending his lectures at the university. you knew because , you’d over hear his students still complaining about the impossible professor kim. two even walking over to you, the current owner of the bookstore , jokingly pleading to get him to go easier on them. it immediately reminded you about when you first officially talked and how everything fell into place from there. it seemed all so perfect, from the first text - to the friendship you built and even to the moment he kicked Kai’s ass for you.
you scoffed ironically. it was currently that exact same day that Kim namjoon had promised he’d never make you feel like you weren’t enough for him. that he would spend everyday making you forget the all the pain you felt before. it was also the first time you two confessed your feelings for one another. your stomach dropped sickeningly, and the pained lump in your throat swelled.
oh god here came the tears again.
you let out an ugly sob in front of Tae, finally crumbling with your guarded mood “ he p-promised… ”. those words fell desperately from your lips while your arms hugged yourself. Tae springs into action and pulls you into a comforting hug. you rest your head on his shoulder trying to calm your lost breath the deep pain that engulfed your entire being.
another knock sounds on your door and hoseok pokes his head inside. “ everything alright?, I heard YN-” he pauses at your broken state. his eyes widening then rushing to the other side of you on the bed. he looked at you with the same sorrow as Taehyung did before and you sniffed, sitting up. normally hobi never held anything else but a smile on his face which prompted you to say “ Everything’s fine, hoseok don’t worry” . you smile but it doesn’t reach your eyes. he notices, because he wasn’t stupid..
“ y/n….” hoseok starts, “ you don’t have to- ….its okay to say you miss him..he’s your husband after all” he says very gently. they were walking on eggshells around you, trying not to trigger another episode like they did last week. you breath in deeply “ but…does he miss me?”
“of course he does noona- …y/n. more than you know. just give him time” Tae tells you, still holding you close. “yeah, hyung just needs to think. He’d never leave you” hobi said rubbing your back assuringly.
The tears came back again from his words “ but he did leave me…” you cried all over again. Hoseok rolled both of his lips and closed his eyes cringing from his fuck up. Tae shook his head at him “ he means- while namjoon may not be here..right now. He’s not leavingyou, leaving you y/n. I don’t think that man can live without you” .
You looked up ,puffy eyed with a wet face. The sight of both your closest friends sitting close beside you trying to cheer you up. You were glad they stayed behind with you because honestly you didn’t have much else. Yeah there was your family and maybe your best girl friend-but they didn’t know Joon the way you, tae, and hoseok did.
“Can we do something?, I don’t want to sit here anymore.” You mumble and both of them sat there staring at you shocked. A couple of days ago you could barley look at the two- now you wanted to go out? They didn’t know if that was good or bad, but they sure as hell weren’t going to disagree with you.
They glanced at each other before Tae smiled and turned back towards you.
“Okay, what do you want to do?”
“Remember when we agreed to this? Yeah I regret that.” Hoseok groaned and you walked up to them in another form fitting dress. “ what about this?” You beam , twirling confidently in the silver silk material. It hugged your body tightly, falling just above the middle of your thighs and exposed the majority of your back.
A blush appeared on the male next to him and Hoseok swallowed - because he was pretty sure he was suppose to be admiring just how good the dress looked, not how good your ass looked in it. “ it's very beautiful noona, my favorite one so far ” Tae smiled, making your mood brighten even more. You look over to hobi for his confirmation and saw the pained look on his face.
You frown “ do you not like it? ”. You ask turning around once again. “Oh..” He took a deep breath, he was never comfortable having any attraction towards you- not when you were his best friend's wife. “ no it looks really great YN . But don’t you think we could do something else maybe?…you know?…guy friendly?” he laughed nervously, avoiding any type of eye contact with you. you look back at tae ,finally noticing the slight pink tinge that graced his features and his clamped legs.
your eyes widened a bit and you immediately caught wind of his insinuation. a blush now performing on your face and you turn rushing back into your dressing room. you take a deep breathe changing your clothes slowly, to prolong the awkward situation that was to come. you usually did this with namjoon, you would love how his eyes roamed hungrily over you- even when he didn’t think the outfit was cute. it wouldn’t have been long before you found him, sneaking his way in just to rub his hands all over you. you’d kick him out of course…
“joonie please there children in here!..” you giggled, from the feel of his lips brushing up on your ticklish neck. that sly, dimpled, smile would appear and he’d shamelessly cup your ass in the expensive material . “ Bullshit- this dressing room is completely empty” not that he cared anyway.
“I can’t look at you, get the hell out namjoon…!”
You winced and a sad smile left your face. Once you're done changing ,you begin making your way back over to the boys when you stop just around the corner. you could’ve sworn you heard a gasp followed by…..
“ Joon Hyung- Hi!” you hear Tae exclaim in surprise and your body instinctively glues itself to the wall separating you from them. “hey joon, long time no hear” hoseok chirped brightly along with him. you couldn’t hear a response which only lead you to believe that he must’ve called them.
“h-how….how is she?” was the only words that he could let out. He sat on the floor of his unknown housing. staring blankly at the ceiling fan as it spun around. he told himself he wouldn’t do this, it was only torture knowing that you were all by yourself and he wasn’t there.
Tae glanced up at the presumably empty hall of the fitting room.
“ she really misses you hyung-”
“When are you coming back?” Hoseok interrupts. He frowns and on the end namjoon does the same. “Soon…I think” he sighs
“ I called about YN, I can’t give you the answers for me right now ” he said Redirecting the conversation back to you. He needed to know everything happening with you , were you happy? , Were you sad?, How often did you cry? ,Did you even cry? , you were eating right? , are you still reading the newest book series he recommended you? , did you really miss him? , do you still love him? .
These questions kept running his mind over and over everyday. And yeah maybe he was being a bit over dramatic- of course you still loved him. He just didn’t know if you would ever forgive him. He never explained to you what happened , just let you get angry and kick him out. It was better that way , had you found out the reason he’s yet to come back , you’d never let him leave.
He hated whenever you two fought. It always left such an awkward space and you both were never used to it. of course you would eventually make up in your own ways, but Namjoon just didn't like it and neither did you. He could only imagine your heart break when you didn’t see him the next morning. Hoseok and Taehyung calling him and pleading for him to comfort his wife since you wouldn’t let them. The only one he briefed about the situation he’s in, was hoseok. He would have told taehyung had it not been that he would have completely broken for you and spilled everything.
His best friends voice rung in his ear, bringing him out of his thoughts “Right, cause it's wrong for your friends to be worried about you. Ok” hobi retorted and before joon could answer “ shes doing better. She's finally talking to us again. She's actually laughing? And smiling? y’know cause of me and tae... we’re okay too by the way , thanks for asking.” He finished irritation clear in his voice.
Namjoon always found it funny, how happy and upbeat the man was at all times until you really got under his skin. And right now Namjoon found himself bone deep.
“ I know you're angry hoseok, believe me I am too but I don’t know how else to go about this.” He spoke calmly , even after his friend took a more disrespectful tone with him. He couldn’t blame him, Both of them- They both cared for you and were always ready to kick the next guy’s ass who broke your heart, or anyone who tried to hurt you for that matter. Even if it meant their very own best friend and Namjoon was grateful for that.
“ how about actually telling her the truth” Tae suddenly piped up. Taking both you, joon, and hoseok by surprise.
Tae wasn’t one to talk to his hyungs out of disrespect but right now He could tell both Joon and hoseok knew something that he didn’t . Tae didn’t want to believe that. but for whatever reason he hasn’t returned home to you, was much more than him getting angry from you assuming he cheated on you.
After realizing his sudden outburst his confidence shrunk just a bit “ I- I don’t know , what the hell is going with you, but you can't keep YN in the dark for this long. She deserves to know why her husband isn't around right now” he said into the phone and looked carefully at hoseok’s shocked expression.
“ you promised her.” He paused “ You told Noona that you would never make her feel the way she felt with kai and you’re right, because whatever you're doing it's making her feel worse Hyung” he mumbled the last part, already imagining how angry Namjoon must be from from his words. But he wasn’t , in fact it only made him sadder because maybe his best friend’s were right. Although, taehyung comparing his actions with Kai’s did sting more than the blonde intended them to.
“O-okay.” He said finally said a long awaited pause. “ I’ll talk to her just please give me a little more time, until then take care of her for me” he hung up before the both of them could protest. Namjoon got up from the floor- taking one more swig of the bottled alcohol before finding his coat and making his way out of the house.
Both Tae and hoseok sat in complete disbelief. “ you’re telling me everything when we leave” tae whispered to hoseok. all he could do was pierce his lips and nod in agreement. After a couple of minutes passed by , taehyung was starting to worry about you…
“ Noona! Are you almost ready?” Tae suddenly called out , startling you. Your heart quickening and you tried to fix yourself . You stepped around the corner meeting both the happy faces of taehyung and hoseok. Although those smiles didn’t last long when they noticed the stream of hot tears running out of your bloodshot eyes.
They both thought. Hoseok gave tae a side glance before looking back to you. “ everything alright YN?” He asked cautiously. No… that's what you wanted to say, but instead you nod. “ yeah” you sniffed, suddenly picking at your fingers “ just feeling drained” you lied wiping them away. Without looking at the two , your figure walked straight pass them and out of the fitting room chamber. “ lets go get some coffee huh?” You smiled and they silently but warily followed you out of the store.
How could they have lied to you?
Namjoon slowly made his entrance in the small cafe. His body tensing and his mood was anything but friendly. He didn't want to be there, and he didn't want to see the woman that was currently waiting all the way in the back for him. He spotted her, a newly cut bob , a pair of black shades, and a long black coat to match. Could she be anymore obvious?
“ You’re not doing anything wrong joon” he sighs muttering to himself.
He then made his way over and stood behind the seat in front of her. She looks up at him, or so he assumed behind those shades. “ you actually came?” She spoke , voice cracking just a little. She bit her lip , watching him hesitantly sit down and mumble “ why am I here?” . He didn’t have time for this , everything that was happening he just wanted to get it over with. The faster he gets this done the faster he could finally go back to you.
The woman looks at him and saw how miserable Namjoon looked.
“Are you just going to stare or are you going to start explaining yourself?” He rose a brow. She flinched a bit from his attitude “please I asked for your help because im trying to run from that kind of treatment Namjoon” she spoke softly and he immediately felt like crap. “ …im sorry Mina…its just, being away from YN so long kind of has me in a really bad mood lately” he looked down saddened.
She was well aware of your name, it was one her monster of a husband compared her to for years. It wasn’t long after the whole scene between you four at the movies, she found her husband speaking you up more often. Before he’d never mentioned you, only ever telling her that the last girl he dated just wasn't ‘wife material’ . She didn't know he was engaged and sure as hell didn’t know it was to you.
Over the years he’d gotten , angrier , colder, meaner and soon her love for him had died underneath all that. He regretted his actions towards you ,that she could tell. There were times where she would catch him on your online profile or even attempting to contact you through text only to delete it completely and then turn to drinking. Eventually his recent actions had ended aggressively towards her when she finally confronted him about it.
She filed for divorce and was now relying on Namjoon’s help in testifying against Kai. Why Namjoon? Well that was easy. First and foremost, because Kai hated him with a passion and why wouldn’t he?
He was in his place by your side, in kai’s head Namjoon had swooped in and stole you from him. Second because Namjoon was a number one witness to how much of an asshole his old friend is. And last but not least- because he was your husband. It was really you she wanted to talk to, but namjoon would never let that happen. Although Namjoon was completely sure you are in love with him and would never leave him for your ex, the last thing he needed was for you to be caught between that marriage.
So when Mina found herself faced with Namjoon at your apartment’s front door, she was a little more than disappointed.
“ you're not going to put YN in the middle of that” Namjoon scoffed in disbelief.
“I didn't ask you now did I?” Mina protested and crossed her arms. She turned on her heel ready to leave “ I’ll just come find her another time” she said walking away and Namjoon stood thinking for a good second before he thought of another solution. you weren't getting into that, not when you’ve already come so far. “…wait!” She stopped suddenly when he yelled for her to.
She turned back around arching a brow “If you really need a witness that bad Ill help- but you won’t tell anyone what I'm doing with you, especially not YN” he says finally, but there was another untold proposition waiting. She thinks for a second “ and what is it you want in return?” She finally asks. Namjoon frowns before a wicked glint appears in his eyes.
which lead the both of them there in the diner. Mina smiled at him sweetly, slightly adoring his devotion towards you. “ YN was smart falling in love with you over kai” she said softly.
“ she really dodged a bullet I can say that.” She sighs.
“... I didn’t really give her much of a choice” he chuckles and so does she,but bitterly. she then reaches for her glasses, taking them off.
Namjoon felt sorrow the second he saw the purple bruised flesh of her eye. “ You're a sweet girl Mina- you didn’t deserve how he treated you” he said quietly.
She just looks at him, swallowing all the anger and sadness she had inside “ isn't it funny?…I'm sure when YN saw us together, she probably wanted nothing but to rip my head off. Strange that at some point I wanted to do the same” she confessed tears brimming her eyes. namjoon however tensed a bit from words, his fists clenching and back stiffening. was she saying shes a threat to you?
Mina noticed and raised her hands up slightly “ listen ...yes at some point through my marriage . I wanted to hurt her. I wanted YN to disappear -to make him forget the girl that ‘broke his heart’… but it took me awhile to get that she wasn't the reason my marriage fell apart. My husband was.” A tear slipped out her eye and down her face.
Namjoon nodded understanding her pain. He knew what it felt like to love someone while their mind was filled with another. It's almost like what he went through with you over kai. He looked down at her fidgeting fingers, noticing that her ring was completely gone now. Oh how he hoped you would never do the same.
that's what his mind kept going back to, even while he was talking to her. So Joon couldn’t help but ask what he’d come to hear this whole time “ Mina, please tell me ..did you-“
“Win?” She finished for him with a straight face and he gulped. “…yes, I did” she smiled brightly. the man had visibly sagged back in relief before standing up and hugging the girl so hard he nearly knocked her and her chair over.
She won!…which meant joon didn’t have to hide ...which meant he gets to see you-
Maybe it was the way your body was visibly stiffened as you walk, maybe it was your fists being clutched tightly at your side, or maybe it was that you hadn't uttered a single word to the boys after leaving the store.
Although strangely you stayed calm and both tae and hoseok could tell it was just a matter of time before you exploded. all of you walked down the side of the streets when they finally decided to say something.
“ she heard us- you know she did” tae whispered low so that only hoseok could hear. Hoseok looked to the front of them watching your figure strut slow but passionately. “ you think I can’t see that Taehyung? You think im not currently pissing my pants for when shes going to go off on us?” Hoseok nearly exclaimed.
“The woman suggested to get coffee tae….she hates coffee-yah! ” he yelped, heart beating even faster once he notices you stop abruptly, you spoke with a dangerously low voice and your back turned to them “ you know it's one thing for you to notice im angry, it’s another for you to talk about it behind my back ``. both Tae and hoseok , brace themselves for what was about to come.
“ why? why didn’t you tell me you could get in contact with him?” you then asked.
hoseok started “ YN, he didn’t want us to tell you-”
“he? , what about me?… what about my feelings in this?. why did no one think I needed to know where the love of my life is hiding - or what he’s up to?” you turn towards them. rage like fire burning within your eyes as you go off “ Maybe I was right not to trust you two!… maybe I should have shut you out like I did before. I was so stupid to think you would understand me, that you would help me!” you finished yelling , while the two stood there letting you lay into them shamefully.
you meet Tae with a stern look, giving him warning. for once he actually rolled his eyes towards you, which riddled you shocked “ YN, I know you’re mad- but you’re being unreasonable! that phone call was the first I received from Joon hyung since he left. I don't know anything happening with him or what he’s up to. I can be here for you , protecting you and trying to cheer you up but its not my job to fix the problem between you and him.” he sighed wearily.
hoseok nodded in agreement before stepping towards you and pulling you into a big hug. “ we love you YN, but you’ve got to understand that were just two bystanders, here to support Namjoon and you. if we didn’t understand , me and tae wouldn’t be taking turns staying over, making sure that you eat, or at least that you have someone around. we want to help, but we can’t do that if you don't trust us” he pulled back to see the same teary eyed YN he’d been used to seeing lately.
“So im overreacting? Is that what you're saying?” You ask in a small voice and not meeting hoseok’s eyes.
It was tae ‘s turn to step to you “ no , you have the right to be mad YN, maybe we’re just not the ones you should be angry at…” he commented. Hoseok looked at him, his eyes wide as ever. He couldn't tell what the hell hadn’t gotten into Taehyung lately. But in the meantime he did calm the situation.
After all that , the three of you had ditched the idea of coffee and decided to get you some ice-cream. You were making your way down the sidewalk when you glanced inside one of the shops you were passing. Your body halts and all the breath in your lungs had suddenly left you paralyzed.
Taehyung, not looking, had collided into you, while hoseok had only made a few more steps before noticing your state. “YN everything alright-?” Hoseok asked you, but you didn’t hear him. Everything was in slow motion and you turned making your way inside of the tiny cafe.
The sound of a screeching chair and the tall figure that was only mere feet away from you , is the only thing you could find yourself focusing on. You looked at him and realized how right Tae was, they weren’t who you were angry at. It was a married man in a cafe, hugging the same woman you’d caught him sneaking with a couple nights ago.
He looked- happy.Excited even. No doubt the woman was just telling him something he wanted to hear. His breathing was heavy and your heart sank when his dimpled smile disappeared the moment he noticed you behind him.
“Oh. Fuck” he clearly commented, mostly to himself before jumping away from the woman like she was fire. You scoff in hurt and take a step back as he tried to step toward you “ YN? ….what are you-?.. baby I promise you this isn’t what it looks like”.
“ don't bother promising anything when you can't keep them Namjoon” you spat immediately and He winced from hearing his full name come out your mouth.
No , he only liked when you called him Joonie.
You shake your head in disbelief, eyes landing back on the girl who now looked oddly familiar…
They widen and you can't help but look back to joon - tears immediately crashing down your face “ oh…you’ve got to be joking….” You say low at first, but when you reach closer to the similar details of her face- irony had smacked you right in yours.
“ ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS NAMJOON? MINA?!?” You yelled before clenching your teeth. you started towards him hands tightened when both boys grabbed your arms.
tae and hoseok tried to calm you, they tried to bring you back down before you did something you’d regret. You shrugged the two boys off of you “both of you shut the hell up!” You sneered while speed walking over to your ‘husband’ .
Namjoon saw this and held up his hands in surrender to you “YN, listen to me-”
You were so angry you saw red and you weren’t thinking clearly. It was too late before you realized and you couldn't stop your right hand from connecting with Namjoon’s cheek. A loud smack rang throughout the coffee shop, causing everyone around to go silent.
“My ex-fiancee wasn’t enough , so you went after my husband?” You glared at her. You couldn’t believe you ever felt bad for her. Mina shrinks back from you a bit but her stare goes right back to the man in front of you.
Namjoon-stunned from the sudden assault looked back up at you for what felt like 10 regretful minutes. You’ve never put your hands on him.ever. Neither had he to you. So it didn’t shock you when you saw that his eyes began to water just a bit. What did shock you however was the cold look that took its place immediately.
Oh my god, what have you done? You thought to yourself. Your hands were suddenly shaky and you found yourself rambling on with excuses “Joon ...I-I…Im so sorry- I was just so angry!. I mean how could you choose her over me? After everything you knew I went through? Was I really not enough for you?…I could’ve been better ...you should have told me.” Your voice shook with every word and every sentence had only made Namjoon angrier.
God if you thought you were angry -it was nothing compared to how namjoon felt. He was livid, but he wasn’t going to show it here. No Namjoon wasn’t going to make more of a scene you had already caused.
So he didn’t. Instead he turned around to Mina, with a stoic expression plastered on his face. Mina herself gulped, because the last time she’d seen him so worked up he’d ended up Kicking her husband’s ass with only a few punches. Something even told her that not even you haven't seen your own husband as angry he is.
“I think our business here is done. I'm sorry you went through that, glad to help as much as I could.” He said to her through a emotionless voice.
Mina nodded, flashing a quick smile to him before landing her gaze back to you. You frowned and it only deepened when her stare turned icy, matching yours when joon turned away from her. She could only envy how lucky you were to have a man as amazing as him.
“Hoseok…Tae…” Namjoon called breaking both of their trances. They simultaneously answer him ‘yes’, avoiding any eye contact with you. “ you guys can head home” he starts and you flinch when his arm wraps gently around your waist to walk the both of you out of the cafe.
“I can handle it from here”
“I can handle it from here”
Joon smiled down at you who was struggling to lock the store’s back door. You were in the middle of a mini-mental breakdown, when your husband appeared from upstairs and offered to take over. “ Joonie!” you greeted before blushing . “ I uh…couldn't get the door to close” you let out a nervous laugh and stepped back leaving a space for him to come between.
“ you have me come lock this for you all the time- I don't know how you still get nervous to ask” he chuckled before bracing his hands on one of the handles. His arms stiffened, pushing forward while pressuring the door inwards. He lifts it up just a bit and “ Ta-Da!….once again” Joon forces the door in place. “My big strong hero” you beam standing up on your toes, pecking the cute dimple on his cheek and then his lips.
The memory plays in your mind when you realize you weren’t in your bookstore and that that had been the last time a good moment happened between you two. instead you were currently seated in Namjoon’s car driving right past the very place. The silence wasn’t awkward, though it was anything but comfortable. Every now and then you would glance Over to your husband to find him glaring permanently down the road. His hands wrapped tightly around his steering wheel when he makes a left down an unfamiliar road.
You frown ,looking out your side to see stores and homes you’ve never passed before. You then look back over to your husband “ this isn’t our way home…” you say but each word got weak the moment his hard eyes looked your way. You swallowed, your stomach turning from the multiple emotions of your husband’s attitude. You cross your legs and suddenly your fingers looking very interesting. Okay now the silence was awkward and uncomfortable.
“Not going home” he muttered “ If we go home , those two will come bother us” . He then glanced at you eyes no longer livid but there was definitely another intimidating emotion within them “ I don’t want anyone interrupting us”
“Where are you taking me namjoon?” You asked nervously. You just couldn’t help it, normally you’d follow him anywhere -no hesitation and no questions. Albeit that was when you had trust for him and he was never this angry with you.
Namjoon himself , noticed this. he was used to whisking you off somewhere, always surprising you with little romantic dates or just small getaways and You’d sit peacefully beside him, smiling like crazy because you knew exactly what kind of evening was in store. But now you were timid , shrinking back the second he even looked your way. He doesn’t answer you, refusing to talk to you anymore than he already did and for the umpteenth time that evening your heart sunk in your chest.
Eventually, he pulls up to a new location and you do as he does, getting out of the car. You then follow him up a driveway and through a path of a comfortable white house. It wasn’t small but it also wasn't too big -a whole family could definitely live in it.
“Joon who’s house is this?” You ask ,stopping suddenly in your tracks. You’ve never seen or heard of this house before, but it was beautiful. You hadn’t even walked inside and you immediately fell in love with it. namjoon takes out his keys to open the door, ignoring your question. He unlocks it , standing aside patiently, in which you assumed it was for you to go in.
Its dark. All the lights were off you very faintly make out all the objects that was probably making up the living area. You noticed the picture sitting at a table near the big white couch on your left. You aim for it, Hands picking it up so gently and that's when the lights come on.
“Do you like it?” You suddenly hear your husband’s voice. You turn to him behind you , he stood leaning back on the door ,arms crossed, eyes not longer cold but warily hopeful.
“I-“ you look back down to the picture of you and him on your wedding day. It was you gazing up loving at him in your white wedding dress, while one of his hands cupped your cheek ready to kiss his bride. Your eyes began to water…
“I don’t know what's happening, why is our picture here?” You looked at him confused. What was he trying to do?
“4 years ago today, I told you how deeply in love I am with you ...how perfect you are for me. I promised you that I would never make you feel like you weren’t enough….it seems I somehow managed to break that” he bites his lip “ YN despite everything thats happened, I don't feel any different and I never did. You're still perfect to me… I didn’t cheat on you.”
Namjoon walks up to you but slowly “ this house is for us. I bought it about a year ago, these past few weeks I was here getting it furnished, but it's not the only reason I was gone” he finally reaches you grabbing both your hands in his and you hesitate a bit. He breathes “ Mina and Kai are divorced…a few weeks ago she came to ask you for help. You weren’t home so I told her no for you. Instead I took your place”
He saw you getting ready to protest but quickly explains his reason “ I didn’t want you in the middle of that. I don’t know if you remember but you were the one that was affected most by their marriage. I didn’t want all those years of you rebuilding yourself to go to waste if you got involved. So in return, I asked for her to help with the house - our house. Also…I just -I guess a little part of me was scared you’d pounce on the chance of kai being single again.”
And with that ,You rip hands away immediately “pounce on him?, namjoon why would I leave the perfect guy for the exact opposite?” You wanted to yell at him. You just couldn't understand how he could still feel like you would choose someone like kai over him. He looked down and for a good second he looked like he wanted to cry again. Your animosity towards him began to die down when he utters his next words.
“Im sorry but im not perfect YN- look what I did to you, I made you so sad that you don't trust me anymore, I made you so angry y-you actually hit me.” He said so low but you heard loud enough as if he yelled it. You shake your head ,regret and a lot of guilt flowing through you.
He blamed himself …for your ignorance.
“I shouldn’t have done that - no matter how angry I was - joonie I shouldn’t have hit you.” You walk up to him wrapping your arms around his waist while he stood still in your embrace, your head resting comfortably on his chest and you could hear how fast his heart was beating. Still just for you…
“I am so ...so sorry namjoon. I don't care if you cheat on me with 5 girls. I will never put my hands on you again. I was wrong, not you” your emotions poured out of you and you hoped he would forgive you.
“We were both wrong” he concluded, engulfing you in an even bigger hug than you were giving him. “And we’re both not perfect” you retorted. The both of you stood there, embracing long awaited warmth of each other.
“How long has it been since I’ve held you in my arms like this?” He mumbles with his cheek pressed to the top of your head.
“Too long…” you reply bitterly before looking up to his eyes. There is a slight pause just before his lips touch down gently to yours in a sweet kiss. At first there is no tongue, no aggressiveness- just a slow passion of finally having you all to himself again. When he feels you relax into him, he then deepens the kiss. hugging you tighter and letting out a long groan of satisfaction.
After nearly five minutes of making out , he pulls away from you, breathing heavily and leaving you in a euphoric daze. “ I want to start a family….” he huffs out and you snap back into reality immediately.
“ this house…I didn’t just get it because I wanted it for you and me YN. I.. wanted it for us and our kids” he looks around the room roaming over the cream colored walls and then back you.
The smile on his face then falters and you guessed it was because your’s was emotionless.
“YN? …babe please say something-“ he tries but you stop him.
“ no, no - just give me a second” you swallow once again to let your brain process everything this man was telling you. He bought this house for you, you and him, your family. A loving warmth grows in your heart when you remember the words he said to you 4 years ago.
“I can give you everything, if you let me”
“So let me get this straight. “ you started “You didn’t cheat on me, you bought this house, and you want little copies of us” you motioned between the two of you “-two adult fuck up-running around said house?” You nearly squeaked.
“Oh my god , you’re serious?” You say incredulously with a wry smile etched into your face.
Namjoon bites back his. “ im serious about everything I say when it comes to you YN” his hands fell on your hips and he pulls you closer, letting you feel just how serious he was.
Your thighs instantly clamp together. Just the thought of him getting hard from the idea of you having his kids , makes you yourself wet. “So..when did you want to start?” You lick your lips , mouth suddenly feeling dry. The loving gaze he’d once had set on you turning into a dark one.
he leans in, making your faces only inches apart “Oh you know , anytime you want really. It could be next week…..tomorrow-” he pecks your lips , nipping at the bottom one before tugging on it between his own “right now” he says huskily, already backing up into what you assume was the white couch.
He falls back bringing you with him and you yelp before giggling in surprise. It doesn’t last long when he lifts your lips to his in heated kiss. You crawl up on him , straddling him so that your clothed heat pushes against his erection. He moans softly , already tugging on the bands of your pants impatiently.
You pulled back , reaching for his shirt and he sits up slightly to pull it over his head. Namjoon then falls back down running his hands up your thighs and finally reaching your shirt to do the same and then your bra. He brings you back into him , attacking you with his mouth, leading slowly down your neck. He stops just above where your shoulder connects and nearly pouts that the last mark has disappeared. Oh well he could change that…
He kisses the spot but only to suck on it hard , releasing a satisfied moan from you. “Joonie…” you breathed loudly, your hands run through his hair when his head dips lower repeating the same process down the valley of your breasts. The grip he has on your ass tightens and he didn’t think he could wait much longer.
Namjoon stands, his hands flying for the button of your jeans and you let him tug them gently down your legs along with your underwear. He pecks your inner thigh and you watch him breathless when he rises to undo his own. No matter how many times you had been together you always find yourself mesmerized whenever your husband’s thick length springs free from his briefs.
His body crashes into yours and before you could process what was happening - he’d already had you pinned down into the couch with him on top of you “ wait right here? On this couch?” You paused heart beating faster than before when it dawned on you just exactly where you and namjoon were about to try for a baby. “YN, its our house I can fuck you wherever I want” he chuckles but underneath his humor, you see how uncomfortably ready he was to continue.
He hadnt had sex in weeks so the last thing he needed was you asking him questions about your actions in a new area. “You sure the owner won't be mad at us?” You teased him , lifting your hips just a bit to nudge yourself on him. He exhales dipping his hips for more pressure “he insists” he says finally.
“ okay” you whisper before parting your thighs wider for him . He braces one hand by your head , kissing you slowly while his cock begins to slide into you the same. He stretches you, filling your pussy all the way even surpassing your g spot and your back arches “y-yes, god yes!” you cry out in pleasure while his hips pull back before snapping harshly into you. He repeats this multiple times , pulling out all the way before fucking deep into you with one swift motion. Each stroke gave you so much pleasure and each one taking your breath away.
This was when you realized he was making love to you. Taking his time to show you just how much he missed you .“ I promise I’ll never stay away that long again baby- fuuck- you feel even better than before” he praises you , landing another powerful thrust and you head flys back. “Angh….joon…angh deeper please!” you begged him , hips bucking to his trying to coax him into going a bit fast . But he doesn't - he continues to take slow controlled thrusts- even lifting your left leg during the process.
This goes on for a while and you could feel your release ready to hit you any moment. Namjoon could tell you were close and so was he. He swirled his hips stroking just a bit faster to feel your legs begin to shake and your tight walls clamp around him. “ Joon -oh …faster!” You writhed under him needing the friction.
“ fuck me faster please -im so close…..so so close!” Your head shoots for the crook of his neck when the familiar sweet burn erupts from pit of your core and fires all over your body. It shakes you and you buck uncontrollably while your eyes roll back in pleasure. Your nails digging deep into his shoulder blades and namjoon thrusts a few more times before his equally as powerful release shoots into you at an alarming rate.
“Fuck YN !, fuck baby I love you so much” he breathes, finally collapsing on top of you from the most intense orgasms you’d ever had. He slips out of you and you whimper “I love you too joonie”
he stays resting between your legs. It feels like hours go by with the both you lying peacefully still and exhausted by each other. Namjoon’s head lays comfortably on your bare chest when he speaks “ if we have a girl…I hope she looks just like you” he mumbled. You smile and you heart flutters the man’s words . You thought if you had a son you did want him to just take his father’s looks.
“ If we have a boy…I hope he’s just as perfect as you”
