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you know who’s wonderful?
straight people
gay people
bi people
lesbians
ace/aro people
gender non conforming people
non binary people
genderfluid people
trans people
cis people
european people
african people
asian people
australian people
north american people
south american people
disabled people
people without disabilities
overweight people
underweight people
people of all sizes
people of all sexualities
people of all races and countries
people of all genders
you
Violent Angry Guy With Emotional Problems: My parents hit me and I turned out fine!
Me: My first inclination is to complain that that’s anecdotal, but honestly I’m just at a loss for words.
What is Feminism Actually?
Feminism, as defined by a quick Google search as follows:
fem·i·nism
/ˈfeməˌnizəm/ noun noun: feminism the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.
Though, it is arguable that this definition has become rather inaccurate over the last 3-4 years. Often when I see talks about feminism it is over things such as the “Wage Gap” which is a quick little study that confirmed that women on average, make less than men. This is true, however context is important. This study doesn’t take into account if they had the same, or different jobs. One might argue that “women can’t get into the sciences because oppression”. Literally where? (in the developed first world). This study also doesn’t take into account hours worked, as women take more vacations than men on average. Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t always like this. Feminism used to be a just cause. It fought for equal rights in terms of voting, and literally just not being property. Now women are seen as equal as men in the entire (developed) world. Somewhat. But that isn’t for this post. I don’t really know why I made this but hey, maybe someone learned this…really old news from like 2 years ago. Oh well. Wait… links? Pft, proof of my research? Nah man just go watch Armoured Skeptic or ShoeOnHead or someone with actual talent and doesn’t just write things out of impulse.
What is Egalitarianism?
[2nd EGALITARIAN FLAG MADE BY ME. IF YOU USE IT PLEASE CREDIT ME IN SOME WAY. ANYONE WHO IS EGALITARIAN CAN USE IT.]
What is Egalitarianism? Who are Egalitarians'? What are Egalitarian beliefs?
I'm here to answer all these questions and more in this post. Egalitarianism is constantly taken out of context, and slandered. I am here to clear things up So, that people who don't know what it means or people who have been lied to about what it means can finally know the truth.
Egalitarianism is the doctrine that all people(Yes All People) should be and are equal. It means everyone deserves equal rights, equal opportunities, and equal respects.
Egalitarians' believe all people despite their race, sexuality, gender/sex, age, reilgion, Etcetera, deserves to be equal in every sense.
Egalitarians' do not hate anyone based off who they are born as. We believe that no matter what someone was born as, they deserve to be treated the same as their peers.
In Egalitarianism, No one is inferior, No one is superior.
Egalitarianism is Anti/Against:
Sexism (Misanderism and Misogyny),
LGBTphobia (People who hate; lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people)
Racism (Hate of someone for their race, Includes white people.)
Classism (Prejudice against or in favor of people belonging to a particular social class.)
Now many people try to say,"Well that's just Feminism."
It's not, Here is why;
Feminism now-a-days (Modern Day Feminism) only care about women, or making women superior to their counterparts. The Radical Feminism and The Feminism movement is very Misanderist, and in a lot of cases very Transphobic. A lot of feminist, radical or not, blame female problems on men, or even just the world. A lot of feminist go out of their way to treat transgender people and men like inferior beings. The point of feminism is to treat women and men equally but, Its just turned into women hating men and transgender people. Yes, Not all feminist or radical feminist are like this, BUT, the mass majority I have seen and even met in person act this way.
Even if this isn't what feminism definition means, this is what today's modern feminism is portraying or even actively doing.
Egalitarianism is AGAINST Sexism and Transphobia in every way.
Misanderist and Misogynist are Sexist. Transgender people are valid. Egalitarians' believe in the equality of every sex/gender and the equality of transgender individuals. No one is superior or inferior. No one is toxic or treated unfairly just because what genitals they have or genitals they do not want.
We just want everyone treated equally. We want nothing but, equality amongst humanity.
Don't listen to the lies.
[IF YOU DIDN'T READ MY BIO, THIS ISN'T AT DISCOURSE PAGE, ANY DISCOURSE YOU HAVE BRING TO @redalecander ]
Unpopular opinion: feminism should never silence other women based on their political or religious beliefs, even if those beliefs are conservative, pro-life, Christian, capitalist, etc. Saying that women who hold those beliefs only do because of internalized misogyny insults the intelligence of those women and shows that your support for women only goes as far as a political agenda.
Masculinity is What You Make it:
Within the scope of the past year or so, most recently demonstrated by the Gillette’s controversial advertisement a few weeks ago, there has been much debate regarding the state and status of masculinity. Of course, if you ask someone who deems masculinity toxic, they may claim that masculinity at its core is about being overly aggressive, hiding emotions or being stoic, and about being aggressive when pursuing women. When you ask someone who finds toxic masculinity an obscene concept what masculinity means to him or her, you may hear that it’s being courageous, perhaps something about knowing how to fix things, or maybe being the family protector of women and children. Why could the answers possibly be so different? If masculinity is this thing in society that is tangible and can have definite impacts on the culture, shouldn’t everyone have a roughly consistent answer on its definition? I propose instead that because masculinity is an abstract and intangible idea created by humans to describe or give meaning to the world around us and ourselves that how society defines masculinity is based not on what it indeed is but rather who the person you are asking thinks it is.
How Perceptions, lenses, and worldviews shape the definition of masculinity:
As humans, we view our world through our own lenses, ideas, perspectives, and beliefs. If you don’t believe me, consider this thought experiment. If you were to ask a conservative and a liberal what the central issue surrounding abortion is you could possibly get two different responses. I would postulate that the conservative may claim it’s about life beginning at conception based on some religious reasoning. It may be a safe assumption to say that the liberal would say it’s about a woman’s right to choose. And because of this difference in political preference, the entire way in which they frame their arguments is widely different; they looked at the issue from different lenses. Abortion is a tangible and legitimate thing in the world, but the concept of whether or not it should be allowed and why has much more to do with a person’s beliefs and values.
Similarly, because there is no exact definition of what masculinity is, two people may very well come to different interpretations of it. If you were to take a man who works as a construction worker, is a married with two kids, goes out drinking with the boys on Friday nights after work, and drives a truck; he would probably claim that masculinity is a positive thing and that its definition is something that fits his own life. That is, he may define masculinity as knowing how to do “man stuff” (fixing and building things), providing for and protecting your family, and drinking and watching sports on your days off. But, if you were to ask a feminist who grew up with an abusive father, went to college and got caught up in a women’s activist group, and maybe did her thesis on United States rape culture; you would most likely receive a negative view of masculinity or of its definition. Again, because of life differences, they define the same concept entirely differently.
What this Means about Re-drawing Masculinity.
How does all this relate to the hoopla about re-defining masculinity as a society? It means that there is really no way to do it. Why? Because there is no supreme entity that defines masculinity, Sure, there are dictionary definitions out there, and marketers at corporations do sell gendered items based on gender stereotypes; however, masculinity is still just an arbitrary and abstract concept. It’s this fact that is causing so much of controversy around needing to redefine masculinity.
To someone who genuinely sees masculinity as being a collective of toxic traits, it seems reasonable to re-draw what masculinity is. Yet, to someone who considers masculinity as a collective of positive traits, there’s no reason to even deem masculinity toxic. And, you cannot redefine what society thinks about something when everyone has different opinions on what that something is.
Furthermore, there’s no real way to objectively say what true masculinity is or isn’t. As Mark Manson asserts in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, people are never “right” about anything; we just go from being wrong to being slightly less wrong (as an aside, he also discusses the concept how people see the world). So that feminist who claims masculinity is toxic is wrong, but so is the Trump voter from the south.
The bottom line here is that from my point of view, which in being truly fair is probably wrong and slanted as well, there is no point in the media or society arguing about a concept which no authority could objectively give a definition to.
So, what are We to do?
I propose that you define what being masculine or being a man is to you. If it’s an abstract concept that nobody can define, you may as well give it the meaning that you can live with.
And, ultimately, I’d argue that this is also the best expedient for fixing anything the anti-masculinists may see as problematic with masculinity. I say this because what relatively sane person being as objective and self-aware as their opinions be would be able to justify defining their core values as being overly aggressive or hiding from their emotions or raping women? In that same logic, what sane person could find fault in being courageous enough to run into a burning building or for protecting and providing for his family? While these examples are more reflective of my views, the basic argument is that it’s hard for a person who isn’t a sociopath to have shitty values if they are forced to write out what their values are and critically examine them. In the same note, it’s hard for someone to look at values that the average human wouldn’t call reprehensible and deem them as such.
The other thing I’d say is that we should all try to be a little more understanding of where we are all coming from and why we say and claim what we do. I think that it’s essential that those who wish to reform masculinity to understand that lots of men don’t believe in harassing women nor do they believe masculinity should embody that. It’s also important to examine why you may feel that men are taught sexual harassment is okay. And, perhaps those same people should realize that most men are also just living their lives. On the flip side, those on the other side should potentially consider the arguments being proposed; maybe men on average do try to hide our emotions. Perhaps we need to examine why some of us may hide our feelings. And maybe that feminist claiming rape culture is herself a rape survivor. But, regardless, we should be at least aware of why we hold the views we do and why others hold the views that they do.
So, what is my Definition of masculinity?
Of course, I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t mention my own definition of what being a man is. Well, I’ll tell you. The majority of this comes from my personal mission statement; the rest from what I like doing in life and other worldviews I hold.
Regarding character, I believe that all men should act honorably. We should have the integrity to do the right thing and the courage to stand up for what we believe is right. I believe that men ought to be honest in all circumstances, even when it is uncomfortable to do so.
Regarding women, I believe that chivalry shouldn’t be dead. Being overly aggressive in trying to woo a woman to the point where she is uncomfortable should be considered obscene; however, there needs to be understanding that there’s nothing wrong with making an approach or trying to compliment women. I believe that fidelity is one of the most important things a man can show to a woman. I also believe that it is man’s role to act as the provider and as a protector should the need arise; an American man should have one arm around his girl and his shotgun in the other. With all this said, men’s relationship statuses shouldn’t define their self-worth as relationships are volatile and potentially hard to come by.
Regarding technical ability, I personally think it’s important for a man to have it. I believe that a man should be able to work on an engine, find studs in a wall, and not be afraid to get dirty. However, this is my definition of masculinity, and as such technical ability shouldn’t be a metric for those who may very well not have it. But a man should be equally as competent in ironing a shirt, doing laundry, cooking, and cleaning as he is in doing shop work.
I also believe that men should be intellectual. We should never stop learning nor should we ever stop questioning things.
I personally do not see any bearing sports should have on a man; however, I understand that sports bear importance for many men in society. I also believe that trying to live vicariously through your children by forcing them to play a sport is abhorrent and should never be tolerated by anyone.
I believe that a man should be able to ride a motorcycle. I also believe that a man should be able to drive a manual transmission and pull a trailer. But these are my values, not anybody else’s.
I do not believe men should hide their emotions. It is better to cry than to hide behind alcoholism or violence. I also think that men should be comfortable experiencing their softer side. However, I also believe that a man needs to learn how to handle his emotions and possibly mask them at times; a warzone is no place to start bawling because your feelings are hurt. In his children and his peers, I believe that a man should also promote this belief.
Synopsis and Conclusion:
Masculinity is an abstract concept that nobody can really define. In the same tone, what people define masculinity as is really more a reflection of them and their lives than of what it truly is. Because of this we shouldn’t really try to “re-brand” what masculinity should be, and those who are trying to do so are not objectively right about what masculinity should be. But this is really a great thing and should set us all free. Since it’s an abstract concept, we can all define for ourselves what masculinity and being a man is or ought to be. Furthermore, in knowing that we can only go from being wrong about stuff to being slightly less wrong, we can change our own opinions on the definition of masculinity when we hear or learn about opposing opinions on the topic. If nothing else, just know that nobody is really “right” or “wrong” on what masculinity in our culture today is. We all just see the undefinable concept differently, and that’s okay too.
If you call yourself a feminist or egalitarian but
Make fun of men’s issues
Don’t take them seriously
Think only men can sexually abuse
And hate men with all your heart
Your a misandrist go outside and grow a brain
Imagine living in like an egalitarian society that'd be rad
