The Sun Blessed Prince - Elician's Hair (some spoilers)
One of the lines that one of my editors flagged during our review of this chapter was how after the fighting is done, Elician spends a really long time brushing his hair and getting very upset that his comb breaks.
She had been concerned it might come across as a bit petty, or with a lack of care for the fighting that happened. He just finished fighting all day and he's angry at a comb? Does he really not care about the people he just killed?
But I argued the opposite. He'd just been fighting all day and the only thing he has any control over at the moment is cleaning himself is the only thing he has any control over at all. And when the comb breaks it's just one more fucking thing. He can't stop the war. He can't stop the fighting. Every day he needs to go out and fight for his country and dole out death after death.
When the fighting is over and all is said and done, he just wants to do one thing for himself. Get the blood off his body, and get the knots out of his hair. And he can't do that because the fucking comb breaks. And that's when he gets upset.
It's not about his hair. It's about how he is still powerless and how exhausting that lack of power has become.
I'm glad my editor let me keep it in, and it comes back around again later in the story when Elician's hair gets cut without his permission.
The impact of him losing his hair hits harder when we know that it was something he cared about. It was a routine he had that made him feel good.
But, also, hair is something that's discussed A Lot in general in this book.
Elician's sister, Fenlia, obsesses over braiding her hair because she wants to look beautiful and fit in with all the latest styles and fashions.
Meanwhile, Elician's cousin, Adalei, was ridiculed because she had no hair and wears a scarf on her head to hide her bare scalp.
Elician knows very well how his family reacts to hair not being perfect. Adalei's belittlement by his father could not be ignored. And unconscious or not, it's something that's seeped into him. He meticulously grooms himself as a self soothing tool, as a form of control, as a way of getting himself back to a feeling of calm - but that in of itself is an action that was inspired by a lack of confidence in his comportment.
It was established when he was very young: if you didn't look a certain way, you would never fit in. And so he worked hard at it.
His hair is very much a micro trauma in this book. There are plenty of other far more insidious things happening, but in a strange way - his hair is also something that feels the most tragic. (Even my beloved character artist was horrified when she realized that the book 2 art would have Elician's hair cut short).
His hair was profoundly personal to him. Cat, when he thinks of Elician, often thinks of his "lovely" curls. It's referenced so much, that their lack is an evident physical signal of how wrong and off kilter Elician is at the end of the book. All his wounds have healed, all physical signs of his torture while imprisoned are gone almost as soon as they happen: but his curls didn't instantaneously grow back. They stayed short. And it is the one thing he cannot hide.
In Book 2, Elician will be fond of saying "nothing" happened to him while he was in Alelune. There's no evidence to the contrary. Except for his curls.
Just like with Adalei, something major did physically happen to him. He lost his hair as a result. (Though of course in very different circumstances). And it has changed who he is. It has changed how he perceives himself, and how others percieve him. And it is once again...another sign of how much he is struggling desperately to stay in control.
