hi, it's me, the one from your intersex blog asks! not sure if this *exactly* fits here, but i still wanna say it regardless:
you know what really grinds my gears? some mogai coiners going like "if you're on my dni (mostly pro-endos, pro-lesboys and turigirls and pro-mspec monos in my experience), DO NOT USE MY TERMS. also you're getting blocked if you try to recoin them for you to use teehee" IT PISSES ME OFF TO NO END OH MY GOD.
gatekeeping queer terms that could be useful to a (pro-)endo, lesboy/turigirl, m-spec mono, etc when they see it just because they're on your dni is EXTREMELY varsexist, exorsexist, etc. full stop. i can understand being uncomfy with people in your dni using your flags specifically, but entire terms? nah. terms should be free for anyone to use, because they help us describe ourselves, and limiting the use of them to those you disagree with is pretty petty ngl
signed, a plurality-questioning pro-endo omni-gaybian + also both a lesboy and a turigirl.
This is monosexism, transphobia, exorsexism (especially transmultiphobia), and pluralphobia.
You're absolutely right and you should say it louder.
Firstly, nobody owns the rights to a specific identity experience. Giving the experience a name =/= owning the identity. Other people can have that same identity. By giving a "DNI" to an identity, and throwing a fit at people who recoin it, you're just creating unnecessary division.
Secondly, there is literally no excuse to exclude m-spec lesbians/m-spec uranians, lesboys/turigirls, or straightbians/straightcians. You're basically saying "oh the split attraction model is too hard! Oh, non-binary (especially multigender) people are too difficult! Oh, plurality is too complicated! Oh, trans men socially imposed as female should be kicked out of the lesbian community for coming out as trans, and trans women socially imposed as male should be kicked out of the uranian community for coming out as trans!"
All of these exclusionary behaviors ignore the fact that these groups have always existed within queer spaces, and that this separatism is a new concept. M-spec lesbians/m-spec uranians, straightbians/straightcians, lesboys/turigirls, they've always been present in the community, and used to be welcome with open arms. Older queers didn't gatekeep the way the modern internet does.
Thirdly, being anti-endo (or even endo-neutral) is ableist. Endogenic systems are just like any other system, they just didn't form from trauma. (And as a side note to readers, endogenic =/= non-dissociative, and traumagenic =/= dissociative. Read more on that here [link.])
Being anti-endo is often also antitheist (as many endogenic systems were formed through spiritual practices) and/or racist (as many endogenic systems were formed through cultural practices.)
