#embarassment

[wanderingmind867]

I just masturbated again. Third day in a row, now. Now that I've done this three days in a row, I think that exhaustion will have set in bad enough for me to not masturbate again for at least 2 days or so. I feel my way of cleaning myself off can't be that great. Pressing my genitalia into toilet water and then wetting it with wet toilet paper and drying it with dry toilet paper. It's stressful, embarassing, awkward, and I'm always convinced it makes my bladder more sensitive. But I'll be fine. I'll be fine.

My stomach still feels a bit sensitive sometimes. But I'll be fine. I think my phone needs to be charged, so maybe I'll go ahead and use that new amazon tablet again. Try and get used to it some more. sigh...

[wanderingmind867]

I masturbated again a whole ago. That was embarassing and awkward, but I got myself cleaned up and handled it. Now I'm laying down in a blanket again, just listening to music while making dozens of posts. Since I don't know how to get my own water, I'll be out of water once I finish the water my dad left me. But that's on me and my freaking dependency.

I've made some posts about politics recently. Are they more embarassing than my masturbation? Hard to say. Both were pretty awkward. sigh...

[wanderingmind867]

Okay. I'm frustrated again. I just wound up masturbating again, and I do understand why I do it. There is a rush to be felt there. I've never wanted sex with another person, but private masturbation is weirdly pleasant. It's just sharing that information with others...sharing that information feels so difficult. When I tried to tell my dad about it, he told me he masturbates too. He was embarased, I was embarased, nobody won that conversation. So I refuse to tell my therapist about my high sex drive. Unless I hypothetically begin feeling agonizing pain whenever I pee, I refuse to tell anyone except people online. I feel an urge to pee a lot, and I blame it on this. But I still don't think that's concerning enough to tell my therapist about.

I'm sitting on the toilet bowl now. I feel uncomfortable, but I'm waiting for a good time to clean myself up. I'm feeling awkward and embarassed. I feel like I've given myself a headache. But I'll be okay.

But one thing annoys me. I'm still constipated. I masturbate more than my constipation clears up. And that feels frustrating.

[purplepinkunicorns]

I honestly could not give a single flying pigs horn about what people think 🙂 Embarrassment is a mindset 😘💋💋

Like yes Im going to post about my interests you can judge me all you want but it’s called social media for a reason

I feel like people these days are sooo performative and honestly it kinda ruins things

[wanderingmind867]

I woke up at 4 am today, and I basically kept myself awake by looking at erotica. Yeah, I know how it sounds. I'm not exactly happy with myself. But it just kind of happened. Then I wound up masturbating again around 5:30. This is...what, my third incident of masturbation in three days? It's frustrating, but I know it could be worse.

Anyways, I have other problems anyways. My heartburn is now really acting up. I don't know what made it flare up, but now I'm stuck dealing with bad heartburn and a general sense of exhaustion. So all that is... frustrating. sigh...

As I think about it more, I'm getting worked up again. I almost feel the urge to try and do it again, but I think that's excessive. And please don't read into this as me pleading for help physically. I'm capable of handling it. But I'm an overthinker who's easily stressed, and so I talk with hyperbole constantly. Small problems always feel like death's door to me. That's just some context I felt was needed. Anyways, here's this post remade to account for my extra heartburn and awkwardness.

[wanderingmind867]

I woke up at 4 am today, and I basically kept myself awake by looking at erotica. Yeah, I know how it sounds. I'm not exactly happy with myself. But it just kind of happened. Then I wound up masturbating again around 5:30. This is...what, my third incident of masturbation in three days? It's frustrating, but I know it could be worse.

Anyways, I have other problems anyways. My heartburn is now really acting up. I don't know what made it flare up, but now I'm stuck dealing with bad heartburn and a general sense of exhaustion. So all that is... frustrating. sigh...

[wanderingmind867]

Okay, yeah. I did end up masturbating. If this later makes my penis itchy or something, oh well. I'll live. I'm embarassed writing this, but my inhibitions are gone. Masturbating has seemingly drained me of energy, so I'm just gonna sit on the toilet for a while as I feel exhausted.

Is my dad coming home from work early? I have no clue. All I know is that it's not hot in the house yet. It's actually pretty cold. It might warm up later though. So I'm still not holding my breath on this heatwave being done.

[anime-to-the-t]