#embryo donation

[queerlybelovedones]

For anyone with a baby/child that battled fertility issues, anyone that needed meds, donors, IUIs, IVF, embryo donation, surrogates, even same sex couples...this is the baby book for you.

Someone recommended it on fb and it’s just perfect. Just neutral enough to be applicable for most families, it’s just a sweet simple message.

[queerlybelovedones]

Anxiety riddled pregnancy

Here I am, 14 weeks (and 2 days) pregnant and anxiety has only let up a little bit. Still no symptoms, still at same weight, still wearing same clothes (some even a little loose), and still not even a hint of a bump. Seriously, even while laying in bed and pushing in, can barely feel the hard bump. If it weren’t for the Doppler finding a heartbeat consistently I would be losing my mind.

My cousin who is pregnant with her first, only 10 days ahead of me, is in maternity pants with strangers asking how far along she is. She’s got all the symptoms, she thinks she’s even started feeling flutters (16 weeks!) and yet here I am paranoid baby has stopped growing. Next appt is April 10th but no ultrasound booked. Maybe I can convince her to send me for one 🤔

To distract myself, I have been cruising the embryo donation pages. We were on a bunch of recipient lists but with 26 frozen embryos we will likely have many to donate. I love reading the posts and hoping we get to help many people have kids. I’m trying to think of what we would want in recipients and when we would make that decision. I’d love to start now since there’s a couple that I love. But definitely want to make sure we get our healthy child(ren) before giving any away.

[queerlybelovedones]

30+ lbs down

Wife is still doing keto and I’m still doing low carb. My uterus is actually behaving and obeying the birth control 😂 which hopefully means I won’t have a period for our trip to Europe in September! Yay infertility benefits!

My anxiety has been super high lately after sending all the forms to the embryo donor. So many worries and questions.

What if it’s wasting our time and money? What if they change their mind? What if the problem is implantation too? What if we waste all 4 embryos? What if we could just use my eggs? What if losing the weight hasn’t helped my hormones enough? What if it has? Should we try once more with my eggs? Would they use a different protocol? What about the anonymous donor they used? What if we regret not trying again? What if we regret spending the money to try again and wasting it?

Help? Thoughts? Suggestions?

[queerlybelovedones]

It’s really happening

We have the forms from CNY for the direct embryo adoption. They’re willing to accept the embryos in the donors name but we have a bunch to do.

Get donors FDA testing, get sperm donors testing, embryology report, thaw protocol, coordinate physically moving them, and make up a contract. Not to mention notarize all that.

All for 4 embryos.

Now I’m starting to panic and second guess all this.

There’s no guarantee they’d work. The sperm donor is anonymous (which is something we never thought we’d do). But they’d have the contact with the donor family and a full sibling.

I think I had a part of my mind thinking that if I went keto and we did a cycle at CNY then it would magically work. We would have chosen the sperm donor. I would’ve worked so hard to make it work. My wife would’ve been involved. I dunno. I had written the idea off in my head but CNY thought they could do it differently and the keto has really changed my body.

If we don’t use all 4 embryos, the donor requests they be destroyed instead of finding another recipient. I don’t want to back out now. But I worry I might regret not trying one more cycle. But we don’t want a lot of kids. But we don’t want to destroy any embryos.

But.

Fuck.

Help?!?!?!

[queerlybelovedones]

So we might be receiving 3 PGS tested boy embryos from a gay dad in the U.K. and his egg donor?

Yea.

[queerlybelovedones]

Sidenote. Opinions please?

My wife and I have been looking into and talking to embryo donors privately for a while now.

Limited number looking to donate to same sex couples. Limited number in Canada. Limited number of more than 1 embryo.

So....

What are some opinions of adopting/receiving donated embryos of different races?

My wife is Caucasian (Irish/Polish Canadian) and I am Portuguese/Spanish but some times told I look Filipino or Arabic but most people say I look Native American (no photos on here, but have photos of us on FB/IG). We would be unlikely to find embryos exactly matching us.

Most donors seem to be Caucasian/Caucasian (CC) as do most recipients. These donors are sought after and “match” quickly. They also wouldn’t look anything like me lol

There are some donors though, that are mixed races; and one in particular has us interested. Wife is French/Italian/German and husband is Chinese. The kids definitely look part Asian.

So. I need some input on adopting embryos/children that aren’t identical races to your own. How to explain to the child, family, others?

Help?

[queerlybelovedones]

2017 has sucked

In pretty much every way, 2017 has been a horrible year for pretty much everyone. In regards to TTC, we entered the year maybe doing another IUI or 2 before doing IVF. We did the IVF, it went terribly. We kind of rushed to do another cycle while we had the money and to get it dons before my surgery. Second IVF went just as bad and now I am an "unexplained infertile" at age 27. As of now, I've joined a few FB embryo adoption/donation pages to try to get in contact with donors. I honestly never expected it to be such a big thing but it's amazing. Hoping we can connect with someone donating near us but we're honestly just hoping for any connection. I had surgery last week on my freak-nose that even the Drs at the hospital were saying they had never seen. The surgeon tried her best but couldn't find the hole so literally scraped all along the bottom of my skull and super glued it. Painful Itchy Bloody Work has been a mess from needing time off for this, wife's job has been crazy. We've had about 40-50 Drs appts so far this year and now we're just going to go about our lives and work for the rest of the year. Let's just survive til New Years ok?

[queerlybelovedones]

5:30am

I still have not gone to bed.

My wife is working 7-7 tonight and I am home alone with the pets. But I can’t turn my mind off.

Of course I can’t stop thinking about our next steps TTC-wise. Will we find an embryo donor? How long will it take? Will we be able to do an IVF cycle for my wife? Will I be able to get pregnant? Sigh.

But the past few days I’ve been thinking about my surgery. Everyone has been asking if I’m okay, if I’m nervous, stressed or anxious. I wasn’t up until a week ago but now everyone asking has me on edge.

So basically I can’t turn my mind off and I am the epitome of “BLAH”

Waking up for work at 530 on Wednesday will be hard. I have 24 hours to get 2 nights of sleep.

Crap.