#endless ikea

[thesixthtester]

Journal 3008

Originally posted on my ao3 account with the same username.

Summary:

“If you are reading this, maybe you’ve found this journal by my dead corpse, or maybe I’m alive and sharing my journal and experiences with you (if I ever escape this place).

My name is Kylie Anderson, and I am trapped in an endless IKEA.”

The journal of a woman trapped in an endless IKEA, better known as SCP-3008.

——————————————————————————

DAY 10

If you are reading this, maybe you’ve found this journal by my dead corpse, or maybe I’m alive and sharing my journal and experiences with you (if I ever escape this place).

My name is Kylie Anderson, and I am trapped in an endless IKEA.

I know that saying I’m trapped in an endless IKEA seems like a joke about the hard to navigate isles of IKEA stores, but it’s not a joke. I am literally trapped in an endless IKEA, no joke. How the hell this IKEA is somehow infinite, I have no fucking clue. Like, genuinely, what the actual fuck? I know for sure that this is not man made because there is no possible way for a human to somehow make an IKEA that looks normal on the outside but is fucking infinite on the inside. I never believed in magic and the supernatural, but I do now because that is the only explanation on how this thing was made. Still have no clue specifically how or why something like this happened, but it has got to be some kind of voodoo magic shit.

And the IKEA being infinite isn’t the only weird thing. The store has a sort of day and night cycle that is determined by the overhead lights being on and off (that’s how I know that I’ve been trapped in here for 10 days). And the restaurants in here just magically restock themselves overnight! I’m at least grateful for that, slowly starving to death seems like a painful way to go.

But the weirdest (and scariest) thing here are the giant faceless monsters dressed in IKEA uniforms that live here. You heard (read?) me right, monsters dressed as IKEA employees live in this place. They’re docile during the day (unless you provoke them) but at night they get violent and attack. They have hands that are big and strong enough to crush a human’s head. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen.

On my second night here, I managed to climb my way up to the top of one of those massive shelves so that I could be safe from those monsters. I was about to fall asleep when I heard screaming. I looked down and saw a man getting chased by 7 of those monsters. They managed to grab the poor man and one of them grabbed him by the head and crushed it. Blood and bits of brain exploded from his head and covered the surrounding area and those monsters. The stench was horrid. I cried myself to sleep that night.

Let’s talk write about something else now. How about the supplies that I currently have? Turns out that IKEA sells backpacks, and when I was wandering I found some on the shelves and took a black one. My backpack has some interesting stuff in it. I found a sewing kit that I snagged in case I need to repair clothes or get a wound that needs to be stitched. I also grabbed some cloth and tape in case I need to create a bandage. I know for a fact that this place is dangerous and I can get injured at any time. They’re not actual medical supplies, but IKEA doesn’t have those so I just gotta work with that I got. I am (was?) in med school and I took first aid and cpr training in high school, so while I’m not a full blown doctor, I know a lot about medical things. So I’m confident that if I get a wound that isn’t too severe I could fix it up with my improvised tools and hope for the best.

I have a few water bottles from the restaurants and a tupperware container (Ive learned that IKEA sells more than furniture) with some food from there as well just in case I’m in a situation where I can’t restock. I snatched two kitchen knives incase I need to defend myself. I picked up a tiny tool kit which could be useful in the future. I found some rope, too, which could also come in handy for something.

I’ll admit that I also have two useless items. I know what you’re gonna say, I should only take what I need to survive. But in my defense mental health is very important and these silly little things make me happy and therefore my mental health isn’t declining to the point of suicidal thoughts because of them so I do need them. HA! TAKE THAT NON EXISTENT PERSON WHO CRITICIZED ME! Anyway the two items are this funny little IKEA bucket hat I found and a tiny adorable cow plush. I wear the hat every day because it is my lucky hat and I love it so much. And I sleep with the little cow plush because it just brings me comfort. I know it’s childish but I’m literally trapped in an endless IKEA with seven foot tall monsters that want to kill me, I think I deserve a bit of childish comfort.

You can probably tell that I wander and explore A BUNCH based on the different kinds of stuff I have. I love going to the forest behind my parent’s house and then just wander and explore, following no particular path, I have since I was a kid. When I get out of here If I get out of here, the first thing I’m gonna do is go on a long walk in the woods…

I guess I used this page as a little sort of introduction to me, so if I die and someone finds this they will know what kind of person I was or something. Or maybe I just want to be remembered.

I can’t really think of anything else to write.

Until next time I guess.

[clickerflight]

Voltober 6. Death Death Devil Devil Evil Evil songs - Warlocks

Author's note: This is a story that I write for my main blog. Less focus on whump and more focus on the horror comedy that is the endless IKEA. There's a link to it at the bottom of this post if you wanna check it out.

Challlenges list - Voltober 5

Content: human whumpee, monster whumpers, fear, horror, endless IKEA, mimicry of loved ones to scare whumpee

Sound Torture | Forced to Performance | Siren

@voltober

Elio sat on top of a shelf holding bed frames mostly. They were actually what he had been out looking for when the lights of the endless IKEA went out. He had some new plans for how to fortify the base but he needed bigger materials than normal, which meant looking for solid wood bed frames.

He hadn’t really looked at the time when he left, though, intent on getting what he needed. He had been so focused that he hadn’t even told anyone where he was going, thinking it would be a quick trip. It was fairly quick, however it was almost lights out, and when he heard the five minute warning telling customers to make their final purchases quickly and leave, he had climbed up the shelves as quickly as he could.

Now he sat in the darkness, listening to the soft raspy footsteps of the employees down below as they dragged and limped their way through the aisles, blank faces doubtlessly looking this way and that for their next victim.

Elio just hoped they wouldn’t notice him up here. He hated the employees this deep into the IKEA. He and the others had decided it would be a good idea to move farther in as there were more resources and a more interesting selection of items to be found, but the farther you go in, the more dangerous the employees get. The ones on the edge could only walk around and tear you to pieces if they caught you. Dangerous in numbers, but fairly easy to deal with on their own. These ones, though. They were crafty. If they knew you were there, they would work together to knock your shelf over. Even worse, these ones could talk and scream, playing tricks on you trying to convince you to come down or try to scare you in the direction they wanted you to go.

Elio very carefully stretched his lanky frame out, laying his head on his bag. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, glad his brightness was already so low before he turned it on to send a text to his friends. While you couldn’t message anyone outside of the IKEA, it wasn’t too hard to set up your phone to text people inside.

:Got caught out by the bed frames after lights out. I’m safe. Be back in the morning.:

He sent the text and tucked his phone away, waiting quietly in the darkness. He knew he wouldn’t be sleeping, but he could still close his eyes and count it as better than nothing.

He was drifting off in a daydream about the foods he missed from outside. He really wanted ice cream. And his dad’s homemade chocolate cake. There were a litany of candies he could name that he would give up fingers for (not his fingers, of course, but fingers in general) and he was just beginning to think about corn on the cob when he heard something below beside the shuffling of the employee monsters.

“Elio?”

Elio sat bolt upright, sweat pricking on his back and the hair on his neck rising.

“Elio?” the voice said again. It sounded like Puck, but not quite. It was darker, slightly off, and there was no way Puck would have been standing safely among the employees.

How did they find out it was him up here? How did they know it was Elio specifically? What was he supposed to do now?

“Come down. It’s safe now, Elio,” the voice sang. Another started, harmonizing terribly with the other voice. “Come with us. We will keep you safe.”

Elio heard the employees push into the shelf, though, weighed down as it was with wooden bed frames, Elio wasn’t too concerned with it toppling over.

“Don’t you want to leave, Elio? We know the way out.”

Elio felt tears prickling in his eyes as he recognized the voices as his dad and his deceased mother who he hadn’t seen in 7 years. “How do you know them!?” he asked fiercely, unable to help himself.

The voices all laughed in unison and Elio growled in frustration, trying to cover the fear that was beginning to shake in his limbs.

“We know everything about you, Elio. Your fear told us everything. You were so scared those first few weeks here, weren’t you? You are so scared now-”

Elio slammed his hands over his ears, folding up his earlobes to push against his ear holes to muffle the sound more before putting his head between his knees, using his legs to keep his hands tight over his ears. He wouldn’t listen. He wouldn’t fear. He wouldn’t feed this place.

He was never going to make this mistake again. Even bed frames weren’t worth the laughing that echoed distantly in his memory as he tried to remember the catchiest songs possible to cover even that.

VTB Part 7

Warlocks Masterlist

Warlocks Taglist: @scatteriskity @percy-frayer @melpomenelamusa

[oliver-the-raggedy-doctor]

Is listening to the SCP 3008 file while wandering around in an Ikea a bad idea? Probably

Am I going to do it anyway? Absolutely

[myhusbandsasemni]

Warlocks - Part 1: Endless IKEA

Author's notes: I am so excited to be sharing this! This story is the comedy horror I've always wanted to have a try at writing! Keep in mind, that the kind of sort of main character is the first non binary character I've ever written so I will be working out the kinks for how to write about Them. They/Them pronouns can really mess with the flow of stories so it's going to be a thing and a half working it out. Enjoy!

Masterlist

................................................

“Keesha! Come ooooon! Let us level up before we get there! Please!?”

Keesha snorted, watching the road as she drove her DND party to the nearest IKEA, Tori working on her knitting in the passenger seat while Puck, Eli, and Leo sat together in the back. 

Puck huffed, flopping back into Their seat and folding Their arms. “Whatever. Can you at least tell us a bit about what the plan is for DND today?”

“I’ll explain it when we get there,” Keesha replied simply. 

“Put your seatbelt on, Puck,” Tori said, not looking up from her yarn as she tapped her finger along the stitches to count them. 

“I can’t. It’s against my religion.”

“You should,” Eli said. “You’re right in the middle. You’ll go through the window if we crash.”

“Skill issue.”

Leo snorted, reaching out and getting Puck in a headlock despite how quick the smallest member of the group was. “Don’t worry. I got ‘em,” Leo said, ruffling Puck’s hair. 

Puck whined and complained, twisting and turning to try and escape the older man’s grasp as Keesha said, “Well, what are your guys’ plans for the week?” It was a feeble distraction, but one that usually worked. 

“I have a craft fair I want to go to on Tuesday, and I hear there’s a public auction of an older widow’s things going on so I may see if I can gather some more vintage clothing and jewelry,” Tori replied, putting her knitting in her bag to watch out the window as they drove. 

“I’m putting together more of my cosplay,” Eli replied, tapping his fingers over the strap of his bag. “I should be done with plenty of time for the convention next month.”

“Nice! I can’t wait to see that when it’s done. Let us know if you need any help. Leo? Any plans?”

“Oh, you know, bingo at the old folks home,” he said with a grin, flashing a look at Keesha through the rearview mirror. 

She rolled her eyes. “I was joking, Leo! Don’t make me suffer!”

Leo chuckled, shaking his head. “Nah. I just have work to do. Might catch up on this show my mom has been going on about.”

“Oh! How is your mom?” Tori asked, turning to see Leo better from the front seat. 

“Doing very well. You should come over sometime. We all know you’re her favorite anyways,” he said, finally releasing Puck who gasped and clawed at the air dramatically. 

Tori snickered. 

“What about you, Puck?” Keesha asked.

“Going to my sisters’ recitals,” Puck replied, combing Their hair carefully back into its messed up coif. “They’re pretty excited about it. They aren’t too bad, either.”

“Awww, recitals? Would I be able to get a ticket?” Tori asked, hand over her bosom. 

“And let you find out my age and how many sisters I have? No way.”

Tori rolled her eyes good naturedly. It had been a bit of a long shot to ask anyway. Puck was defensive about Their childhood and a lot of Their personal details. As a group, they were all really good friends, the closest friends they all had to each other, but Puck was just weird like that. 

“Are we going to the IKEA?” Eli asked as he watched out the window. 

Keesha clicked her tongue. Leave it to Eli to figure it out so quickly. “Yeah, we are. That’s where we’ll be playing today’s session. I checked with the employees that this would be okay and they said it would be fine.”

“Oh! Are we doing that maze puzzle game I saw on tik tok?” Leo asked, excited. 

Keesha nodded. “That we are. My own version of it, of course!”

There was a general call of excitement and interest in the group as they pulled into the parking lot. 

Soon they were inside, taking a moment for Keesha to explain the rules of the game. It took a few minutes for the group to get used to the new environment for their game, but Puck broke the ice, going all in on the wheezy voice Their warlock had. Soon they were working their way around the IKEA, laughing and looking at the puzzles Keesha had brought along with her. Keesha led them back and forth through the maze where sphinxes looked to kill the group of warlocks, but the warlocks, as always, proved to be just cunning and charismatic enough to get away with their shenanigans. 

“Now! Brave Warlocks, if you think yourself as such,” Keesha called in the booming voice of a sphinx, checking her watch to see what time it was as they hadn’t seen anyone in the aisles around themselves for a while. “You have walked all of this way! And for what? What purpose do you seek?”

The four players crowded together and whispered together for a moment. Eli stepped forward, fidgeting with his small jedi braid. “We had come seeking a challenge and fun. To learn more than we knew before. Knowledge is more priceless than any wealth we could have found in this maze, O Sphinx.”

“The sphinx regards you, now more thoughtful than annoyed. ‘You would do well to keep on this path, dear adventurers. There are many that forget the way in this world. I grant you leave.’ And with that, she steps back, and for the first time you see the exit out of this maze.”

“Man, I kind of want to stay here,” Tori said, voice pitched up for her character, Cleo. “There were so many paths we didn’t take.”

“Will we be able to visit?” Leo asked in the tone of his character, Kylo. “Ah, but we need to get Joseph home.”

“I have had more fun here than at home,” Joseph/Eli said hesitantly. “Though I do miss my sisters… would it be allowed for us to return one day, Sphinx?”

Keesha smiled, waving her hand to the group to get everyone walking back towards the entrance to the IKEA. “That you might, travelers. We have never had ones such as you desire to return.”

“This seems like a good place to rest my weary bones when I am done learning what there is to be known here,” Puck said in Jasper’s voice. “My patron would not mind if I took a bit of a retirement.”

“That’s if you die, old man,” Tori said, amused. 

“Aye, if I die. I-”

The IKEA will be closing in five minutes. Please make your way to checkout. 

“Is it really that late?” Leo asked, surprised as he pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time, his bornw and silver pony tail falling forward over his shoulder. 

“It is. I’ve actually been trying to find the exit for a while now. That last puzzle was me trying to put that last bit off till we could get to the entrance,” Keesha replied, bemused. “Worse comes to worse we can pick a wall and follow it.”

“The exit was that way,” Eli said, pointing.

The group turned to where he was pointing and followed in an instant. Eli had a flawless sense of direction. One did not question his ability to get unstuck from any situation. 

At least, normally. 

They walked for the full five minutes, checking their phones and watches nervously as they went. 

“I hope we get locked in the store,” Puck said, a huge grin on Their face.

“Don’t say that,” Keesha groaned. “I have work tomorrow.”

“Come on, it would be an adventure!” 

“I don’t want to be fired. I was sick a lot last month and I’d rather not push my luck any farther.”

“Skill issue.”

Still, Puck ran ahead, looking around. They rounded a corner up ahead just as the lights shut off.

“What the heck?” Leo asked, getting his phone out and turning on the flashlight as Eli fished an actual flashlight from his bag. “I thought they cleaned up for a half hour or whatever after people left the store.”

“I guess not?”

“That is how places with food courts typically operate,” Eli said. “I do think we are being locked in, though. Perhaps we should find one of the bed sections for the night so Keesha can be rested for work?”

“I’d rather try the doors first. I-”

There was a  yelp from up ahead and they saw a dark figure pelting back down the aisle from where Puck went. There were several things behind Puck. Shambling things. 

“What is that!?” Leo yelled, horrified. 

“RUN!” Puck yelled. “NO, WAIT! CLIMB!”

The group quickly moved, looking for shelves to climb. Keesha and Leo were up first, Leo helping Tori out while Keesha tried to shine her phone light so she could see what was chasing Puck. 

Puck climbed up like a cat, turning to see the things stop chasing Them and going for-

“Eli!” Leo yelled. 

Eli had chosen a shelving unit that was much trickier to climb than previously thought, and whatever was down there, blurred shapes in the moving light, caught him by the ankles. 

He yelped, struggling, but he kicked whatever it was in the face, adrenaline sending him the rest of the way up. 

“Are you okay?” Tori asked, but Eli was pale staring down at the monsters. 

They looked like people at first, but their pure white fingers were clawed, their faces smooth and blank, their clothing seeming to fit but hanging… strangely over where their stomachs should be. 

“What is going on?” Keesha asked, watching the creatures trying and failing to climb up to them. 

“We’re not in Kansas anymore,” Puck replied from where They were standing on Their own shelving unit. They judged the gaps and quickly leapt across to where Eli was so he wouldn’t be alone on the shelving unit away from the others. 

“We should look at your ankles.”

Eli nodded, looking away from the monsters and to his pants. He rolled it up, showing the scrapes and bruises in his skin. 

“Yikes, man. Got anything in your bag for that?” Puck asked. 

Eli nodded. 

“Course you do. Hand it over.”

The monsters didn’t stay for long, but there were just enough soft sounds and shiftings in between the shelves to convince the group that it would be a very bad idea to come down until the lights came back on.

If they ever did. 

Part 2

[ivy-is-fine]

I’m going to draw two dinosaurs chased by 3008 ikea employees and there is nothing that can stop me

[itzampella]

anyway never put me in a 3008 vip servers with the ability to spawn stuff

[starryoak]

You ever wanna write marginally happy stories in the SCP Foundation universe? Not super happy ‘yay, the SCP is solved forever!’ fanfiction, that’d defeat the purpose of these horror stories, but like, I don’t know, a story where the people inside SCP 3008 manage to build a town that can survive long enough that they stop having to eke out survival and actually just live? Like rebuilding after the zombie apocalypse, but inside an IKEA. What would a town look like entirely restricted to the supplies an endless IKEA store could provide?  What society would eventually emerge after generations inside? What would a world built inside the IKEA look like? IDK, I just think it’d be interesting. Especially if eventually said IKEA society managed to make contact with the rest of the SCP universe.

[asmolweirdo]

Due to personal reasons I will be entering SCP-3008 to be transported to SCP-3008-1.