#entry 48

[diary-of-a-people-pleaser]

Entry 48, 3-6-21

I do be havin a lot of energy

I don’t normally have this much energy?

It’s not bad but it is interesting!

[fulloflovebees]

"You need not remember me, but don't forget me."

-Excerpts from my journal

[irelia-ad]

Choices and Thoughts

(OC: Date [28-08-2016] Day[Sunday])

Dear diary…

Today I started the day with a light bit of training with Rassos. He is not bad but needs to work on his defense. As more people showed up, the Magister and Ara’ni were waiting to speak with me. They wanted to ask about Jemton who had misbehaved and left the previous day. He wanted to know reasons to why Jemtom acted up. I myself couldn’t think of a specific reason other than he had issues with Ten’ji’s command.

Well…

The Magister had a possible reason. What came out of his mouth was not something I had hoped to hear. Especially from him. It was shocking that he knew at first. But I remembered the rune and it all made sense. I would never have lied if he asked, I would just hoping he didn’t. But he knew all along. I hope he doesn’t look at me any less for something I did so long ago. I know I have moved on from it.

Later on he started asking about my visions. Obviously he knew about those also. I couldn’t tell what he was feeling when he asked me about them. He just… asked. I told him that I think about them every so often since I had them. He then asked if I wanted to start a family as something I would want or start one with him. I didn’t know what to answer at first. Whilst I was thinking something strange happened were Velinth walked over and grabbed Ten’ji’s tusks. It must have been that human game they spoke of.

Me and the Magister walked away once that had been resolved so we could speak. He told me I should think and decide on what I wanted, so I did.

Once he departed, the first thing I thought of was the words he said to me on the harbor. How he doesn’t love easy. And how he might if I became a better and whole person. I feel I have. I am not perfect. I still have much to learn as a leader but I am no longer the disgrace I once was. He brought up things of my past that I didn’t wish him to know of but he seems to have accepted it. He hasn’t shown that it still troubles him to this day. He always seems to be trying to embarrass me. He succeeded today. But he seems to do it to amuse himself or prove a point to me. I can’t argue because all the things he tries to embarrass me with are true. But I am better than those things now.

I then thought on his previous question. If it was him who I wished for the father. Who wouldn’t? He is a good example of our people’s strength and maturity. He would stop at nothing to protect his children. He is somebody I could trust my own children’s lives with for him to protect. He is everything that he needs to be to do what must be done. I didn’t realize how much I would hate to see him go until he did. I felt empty when I heard he had passed and I felt pure happiness and joy when I saw him again.

He has done so much for me and rarely asked for anything in return. Every time I see him I think of ways I can repay him for what he has done but to no success. I want to protect him like he does me. And how he does for all he cares for. He will never take advantage of me. Or use me for what I have instead of who I am. He cared for me when I needed it most. And I want to be there for him when he needs somebody to help. I never want to hear the news that he has passed again. I want to be by his side to ensure that never happens again. I love him. And I tire of hiding this feeling I am not good enough to. Whether he feels the same is his own choice. But I have made mine.

After thinking on what the Magister said and coming to a decision, I found and spoke to Ten’ji and Grualarr for a short while. They both seem to be fine and ready to deal with the legion again. I then saw Aelathdrin sat by herself away from the others. This is something I did in the past when something was troubling me, so I went over to see if she was ok. She seemed to just generally not look forward to her punishment of cleaning up the Wyvern stable. I can understand why. Those beasts are filthy at times and their stables are a mess. Not a pleasant job.  I spoke to her for a while about not worrying so much about damage to armour and how she should learn from her mistakes today. We then got onto the topic of her spar with Rassos and how she beat him so easily. So I got curious and thought I would test her skills. We went hand to hand just so I could see how quick she was. She wasn’t bad. But like with Rassos there is room for improvement. Well. There is always room for improvement. Anyway she departed to rest just a moment ago. I think I will do the same.

Yours faithfully

Irelia Dawn Bringer

[forgottenmhfacts]

Forgotten MH Fact #42: 

The man that approaches Alex in Entry 49 can briefly be seen in the parking lot near the end of Entry 48. 

[forgottenmhfacts]

Forgotten MH Fact #29: 

In Entry 48, as Jay is searching for Alex in Rosswood Park, he turns around at a noise behind him. As he turns back to the path, the Operator is briefly visible, although Jay doesn't seem to notice it. 

[queen--catherine]

Nightlog Entry#48: When'd it become 6:30 like omg.

School starts on Monday.

I should be asleep right now.

I usually wake up at 5:15.

I need to get more than 2 hours of sleep a night this year.

[thecourierofthemojave]

Entry 48

This place makes the ghoul infested rocket lab look like a dream come true! There was a rat the size of a dog that just ran past me with kids chasing it trying to kill it and eat it (I know this because they did). The local vendor warned me about eating anything he sold me and there are 3 bodyguards for hire at the gate to protect you for about 400 feet. Dangerous, rat infested, diseased and extremely unsanitary. Those words sum up this sewer of a town.

End of entry

[fuckyeahmarblehornets]

Entry 48