Jan 29
Watching a hot guy motorcycle montage be interrupted halfway through by someone honking at them will never not be funny
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Watching a hot guy motorcycle montage be interrupted halfway through by someone honking at them will never not be funny
Nick Fury watching John Walker get introduced as the new Captain America instead of Sam:
introduce yourself gordon! dont be shy
``well.. as Doctor Coomer said, I’m Doctor Gordon Freeman..``
``and I dont care``
``now Bubby.. we can atleast give doctor freeman a chance, can we?``
``yeah! I like him already!``
``thanks Tommy-``
``tommy likes mean people.``
``benrey i’m trying here.``
generation kill 65/?
charlie is very excited and shook by bot
new human page!!!
What makes Edward and Alphonse so special in my opinion is how they would do anything to save eachother without thinking.
The Beginning... Episode 1 Part 2
Okay, wow. People really want this series to be a thing. So, wish granted! I’m super pumped for this! thanks for all the positivity you sent my way. I’ll try to live up to your expectations.
Also, an important note. In this AU, there are no pre-existing romantic relationships between the Smashers. Trust me, there will be. But this way there will be more room for drama.
Enjoy!
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*The Smashers have assembled in the amphitheater at Camp Smashanakwa. The show is on, and the teams are about to be forged. Ganondorf stands on the stage in full on Host mode.*
Ganondorf: Welcome back to Total Drama Smash Bros, brought to you by Lon Lon Milk! The coldest and most refreshing milk in the Chosen Kingdom. 9 Nine out of 10 Hylians recommend it!
Link: It's true.
Zelda: We're addicted. *Chugs a bottle of 2%*
Ganondorf: Now, before we can divide up these poor suckers into their teams, we need to introduce the rest of the staff! First off, is chef Ridley, who will be bringing you all your tasty camp treats.
*Cut to Ridley in the kitchen with a chainsaw and a suspicious bulging bag slung over his shoulder, dripping with blood.*
Ridley: HOPE YOU LIKE PORK! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Revs up the chainsaw
*Cut back to the amphitheater*
Ganondorf: Next is King K Rool, who will be managing our... forest friends.
*Cut to King K Rool in front of hundreds of giant cages all filled with monsters from various games*
K Rool: You just need to feed them properly.
*A couple of unpaid interns are dumped into a cage with a King Dodongo.*
Intern #1: Meh, still better than studying for finals.
Inter #2: THIS DOES NOT EXPAND DONG!
*Cut back to the amphitheater*
Ganondorf: After that is Bowser, our resident tinkerer!
*Cut to Bowser, working on a massive electrical bear trap.*
Bowser: My motto is, if it can be electrical, it should be! Buahahah!
*Cut back to amphitheater.*
Ganondorf: And finally, Wolf! Our handyman.
Wolf, off to the side smoking a cigarette: I fix your toilets. Piss me off at your own risk.
Marth: I'm beginning to suspect that Master Hand is angry with us, putting these lunatics in charge.
Erdrick: Ya don't say?!
Ganondorf: Anyway! Time to make our teams. *A bokoblin walks onstage wearing a pink glittery dress. It holds a bag full on envelopes.* Simply come up and choose an envelope. If the paper inside is green, then you're a Crying Goomba! If it's red, then you're an Ugly Koopa!
Red: Wow, you're not even trying to hide your pettiness.
Ganondorf: Nope!
*The victims- I mean contestants one by one took up envelopes from the pink dress clad bokoblin. In the end, the teams were as follows*
*Crying Goombas: Link, Daisy, Ike, Leaf, Red, Corrine, Joker, Rosalina, Marth, Bonny Janet.*
*Ugly Koopas: Samus, Zelda, Roy, Pit, Dark Pit, Robyn, Lucina, Captain Falcon, Peach, Erdrick*
Captain Falcon: Aw yeah! Let me hear ya my Koopas!
*Silence, crickets chirping.*
Captain Falcon: Come on guys! We're doing this anyway, least we could do is be pumped for it!
Zelda: Sorry Captain, but we're far more worried about what insanity Ganondorf is going to inflict on us.
Captain Falcon: True... but still! Twenty million big ones!
Peach: At least five of us are royalty. We've got more than enough money. We're just doing this because we want to remain Smashers.
Daisy: And being responsible monarchs means we can't use much of the royal treasury for ourselves. It'll be good to have some pocket change.
Marth: ...Well when it's said like that it seems kind of arrogant.
*Sure enough some of the less monetarily inclined Smashers are looking at the royals with a bit of resentment*
Ganondorf: Ha Ha! Finally some seeds of drama! But, for now, one final bit of exposition before we get the ball rolling!
*a screen descends and shows a picture of a shoddily constructed outhouse*
Ganondorf: This is the Den of Confession. It's a completely private place to air your dirty laundry and darkest secrets. I guarantee you that no one will probably won't not maybe possibly never not see it.
Everyone: …
Dark Pit: Do even you know where you went with that?
Ganondorf: Nope!
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Inside the Confessional
Zelda: Darkest secrets huh... … … … … I'm... I'm not actually a blonde. My hair is bleached. … … *she suddenly jumps onto the camera* GIMME THAT TAPE!
-
*The smashers and new teams now find themselves on the beach where Ganondorf is standing with Bowser Both Ganondorf and Bowser are clad in the loudest Hawaiian swim trunks in history.*
Ganondorf: Welcome Smashers and viewing audience to your FIRST CHALLENGE!
Pit: Ooh! Ooh! Are we playing voleyball! I love volleyball!
Dark Pit: *smacks Pit upside the head*
Pit: Oww!
Dark Pit: Of course not you idiot!
Ganondorf: Actually, my emo feathered moron, we are playing volleyball!
Dark Pit: Wait- what?! That's it?!
Ganondorf, a shit-eating grin on his face: Weeeeeeeellllll.... not really. See we're going to be playing...
Samus: This is going exactly where I think it is isn't it?
Ganondorf, pulling out a Bomb-bomb with the fuse lit: VOLLEY-BOMB!
Samus: Yup.
*Ganondorf throws the bomb at the Smashers*
Ike: HIT THE DECK!
*The Smashers jump for cover as the bomb lands... and nothing happens. It's a dud.*
Ganondorf: HAH! Classic.
Bowser, producing a massive sack filled with bombs: These bombs were designed by yours truly! They're programmed to only explode when they hit the ground, so keep them flying! Cause if they touch down... well you get the idea.
Ganondorf: The rules are simple. The Goombas and the Koopas will each split into two teams of five. There will be two games of 5 v. 5. Whichever team wins both games wins invincibility... and a prize! The loser team will vote someone off the Island tonight.
Peach: Uh, excuse me! But what if both teams win a game?
Ganondorf: Oh. Well, in that case, we'd have to hole... … the tie-breaker. MUAHAHAHA! *Ominous lightning flash*
*Silence. Crickets chirping.*
Ganondorf: Well, hop to it!
-
Inside the Confessional
Bowser: I'm a little worried about Big G. He's... he's getting really into this whole reality TV deal. Way more than is probably healthy.
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Inside the Confessional
Link: Hey, maybe Ganondorf has found his true calling an he'll leave Hyrule the fuck alone! But since when am I that lucky huh?
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With the Goombas
Link: Okay team. I think we need to talk strategy.
Bonny Janet: We're all goon ta' die.
Link: No... we just need to be careful. I have the most experience with these types of bombs, so I should head the first Team 1. Daisy, you're the professional sportswoman so you'll head Team 2.
Daisy: You got it! If I can survive Mario Party then I can survive this.
Bonny Janet: Grate. Soo tha' sissy English Elf is goona ta leaad one tame and the talkin' floowers goon to lead the oother?
Link: You've got a problem with that?
Bonny Janet: Aye ah've goot a problem! Who made ye leader eh?! Ike's goot tha flammin' sword o' fire! E' should lead a team, not the flight fairy o'er dere!
Link: Daisy's got the most experience with games like these. She leads Team 2.
Joker: Uh, not to play Devil's Advocate, but Bonny has a point. Ike does seem pretty fireproof.
Marth: Call it same series bias, but Ike does seem like a good choice. I don't doubt Daisy's abilities, but this seems more like a “let's survive and outlast” situation than a “let's beat the other team into submission” type situation.
Ike: Look, Link, I don't want to be the asshole here, but if the group wants me I'll do it.
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In the Confessional
Bonny Janet: Dun git ma wrong. Ah' got nothin' against Elfy personally. Boot e's a presumptuous prick if e's thinks e' can joost boss us around like that. We ain'r 'is lackeys!
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In the Confessional
Link: And like that everyone's suddenly listening to the Scottish Imp of a Pokemon trainer! I mean, I know she's both adorable and hilarious, but you can't just throw strategy out the window.
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In the Confessional
Daisy: I appreciated Link standing up for me, but frankly I think he was more offended than I was.
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With the Koopas
Captain Falcon: Trust me guys! I got this one in the bag.
Samus: As much as I want to disagree with Falcon on principal, he's probably right. This does seem like his forte.
Lucina: Indeed. Finally, a use for the meathead.
Captain Falcon: Hey! My brain is made of pure brain stuff. And if it WERE meat it'd be delicious.
Erdrick: *pats Falcon on the head*
Roy: Okay, I say we keep Falcon back until round 2, sort of our ace in the hole okay? Samus, can you handle round 1?
Samus: No sweat.
Roy: Any arguments?
*There is silence for a moment but no one disagrees with him.*
Roy: Alright, move out!
*The Koopas move to leave, but Pit and Zelda are grabbed from behind and pulled behind a large rock by an unknown figure. It turns out to be Peach.*
Zelda: Peach, dear, could you tell me what's going on. I mean, if you want to be behind a rock... with me... I uh... can make some exceptions... but uh... should Pit really-
*Peach smacks Zelda upside the head*
Peach: No you useless lesbian! I'm with Mario remember.
Zelda: Oh. Yes. I see.
Pit: What's a lesbian?
Peach: You'll find out when you're older. But look. Zelda, you're only ride-or-die ally is one the other team right?
Zelda: Now that you mention it... I have been worrying about what to do without Link. I can handle myself but...
Peach: And Pit. It's only a matter of time before Dark Pit gets too annoyed with you and gets you voted off, right?
Pit: No! Pittoo and I are making great progress! This morning he only beaned me in the head with one gallon of milk.
Peach:
Zelda:
Pit: I'm screwed aren't I?
Peach: Not if we stick together! I propose an alliance between us. Together, we'll take each other to the final three!
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In the Confessional
Peach: I can see that I'm in a bad boat. Both Daisy and Rosalina are on the opposing team, so I'm already out two allies. I know what people think of me, the “useless Princess”. If I don't act fast I'm going home. Zelda and Pit are both sweethearts, and they're bad asses to boot. They'll make good allies.
-
In the Confessional
Zelda: I want to go on the record as saying I do not need Link to survive this place. I already have an alliance of my own! Time to show that Princess Zelda is no damsel in distress!
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Zelda: I'm on board.
Pit: I dunno... I don't feel right doing this behind my emo brother's back.
Peach: Well with an alliance we can watch out for him little guy.
Pit: You mean it?
Peach: One-hundred percent!
Pit: … Okay, I'm in.
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Ganondorf, watching on one of his monitoring cameras: Ooh hoo! Looks like some drama is already kicking up! The Goombas in a power struggle and two princesses already teaming up with a gullible Angel! Will Link take true command of the Goombas? Will Peach survive with her new alliance? Find out, here on Total, Drama, SMASH BROS!
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And that’s a wrap on part 2! The actual challenge will be in the third and final part of this episode, which will include the voting off ceremony. Let me know what you think! Also, try and guess who will win and be voted off.
Be good people!