#escaping abuse

[help-my-relationship]

25f how to deal with a an abusive relationship with 42M s/d?

Short story, met a sugar daddy online that lied abt being married. he lives with her and has 2 kids with her, we talked for 2 years and the more i known him the more i got mistreated by him he would randomly get mad at me when i didnt understand something and yell at me and call me names then be sorry for it. I have sufferd so much from this, but my feelings kept me from leaving him. I want to call his wife and tell her what kind of a liar and gaslighter he is. he lied to his wife eevryday and cheated on her before they even got married, he cheated on all his gfs. To me he was just a s/d, like we agreed but he disrespected me. i want to tell her, how can i tell her without me possibly getting sued by her even tho hes the one that started this between us

It's clear from your comments that you're way too involved. You do not need to get revenge. You don't need to save the wife. You don't need to bring him to justice (and being a sugar baby, you're on shaky legal ground, so this one would be even more of an uphill battle than it already is). What you need to do is untangle yourself from this and just get out.

Steps I suggest in no specific order:

Get another job to support yourself

Reach out to friends and family for support

Spend time with friends hanging out and having fun

Get into therapy

Develop or re-discover some hobbies

Meet new people

Spend time doing things you enjoy

Start cutting down on social media time

Block him

Figure out what you're getting from being involved in this drama (attention, sense of superiority, purpose, something to do, puzzles to solve) and then figure out some ways to get those things that don't involve being involved with this family

Chat with a domestic abuse advocate by calling your local DV org

[fr13d-ch1c-k3n]

[risingphoenix87]

tw abuse

Do you have any advice for someone who wants to move out of an abusive home but isn't sure if it's a good idea?

Thank you.

That depends; what kind of reservations about it is the person having? What are they unsure about? I know no two abusive home situations are exactly alike, so I will include some tags below which contain various resources for people trying to or considering leaving abusive homes.

[mrshrimp76]

posting after a long time again to gain some attention to my bestfriend's situation

I'm sharing this to wherever I could, so please if you have time, please support my friend and help them and their family and pets to escape to a safer home <3

Donate to Help Us Find a Safe Home Away from Abuse, organized by hopefor home

I am going to do my best to explain our story accurately while also leaving out … hopefor home needs your support for Help Us Find a Safe Ho

[majoringinsarcasm]

Despite my silly tone this is a serious post / thread I’ve been avoiding making for longer than I should have. The TLDR is that my family needs to move, I am in debt, and getting a better credit will help with being approved for new places. More ⬇️

Support Major

Support Major

It’s hard to speak about relationships that you are not in emotionally, but I have been living with this man since I was 12. He wasn’t always this explosive, but it’s been a cycle of Normal Angry Rude Smooth Things Over for a long time now

I’ve seen my mom suffer. I’ve seen her love someone who doesn’t match her energy. He’s called her names you never call your partner even in anger. He’s called me and my brother names. He’s put his hands on both of them in a way that’s not police call material. He’s ex military so

even if we had at the time I don’t know what would have been done. It’s easy to gaslight yourself into thinking this will pass it was just one fight. But it hasn’t been. And if me and my brother weren’t living here I truly would fear for her physical safety

It’s hard to talk about because I am on the outside watching my mother. I know as the one in this relationship she’s harboring more pain than she’s ever vented to me. And we’ve had countless conversations ever since I was old enough to be a vent partner

And that’s also made some unhealthy patches to our relationship. We don’t have the money to just get up and leave which has left all of us walking on eggshells and being stressed and miserable. And I want us to be out of it. We’re all tired. We’re all tired of living like this

My goal is 7k which is not all of my debt but would be enough for one, my credit card which has a pretty nice limit, and would help with short term bills and maybe a hotel stay if we need it immediately. All reposts would help a lot. We are very very low on options without money

[mystery-sorceress]

Me: Googling why I still feel awful and struggle to do shit after moving out of my abusive/neglectful parents' home

Every article: Congratulations. Your Traumatic Stress Disorder has finally graduated into being a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

[mystery-sorceress]

Dating/interviewing/finding a therapist or doctor while you have trauma from abuse or neglect is like constantly being told that your picker is broken because some of the people you dated/worked with/were a patient with happened to be assholes. As if it were my fault.

Like, sure. Maybe it IS my fault I encountered some more bad people in a world filled with them because my normalcy meter is broken. OR maybe a lot of people really are just assholes. Like, I've also met people that are not assholes, but every time I mention someone that is, someone has to attribute that as being my fault somehow because I was abused as a kid.

[furiousgoldfish]

Hey!! Im still stuck in my situation (emotionally abusive parents) and can you give me advice on how to get out of my situation and how you got out of yours?? I dont think i can stay here for much longer without having a breakdown!!

I don't know as well as you do, what your situation is, like what social network do you have, if you have any savings or finances, what influence and intent your parents have over you and if they'll try to come after you.

I managed to get some savings by doing freelance work online and once I had enough income I waited for a violent breakout, then left. I stayed at a friends place for a few days before finding an apartment and never told anyone my address. Nobody could find me so nobody could rat my location off to my parents. I responded to my phone for 2 weeks so nobody could report me missing. I was intimidated and worried I wouldn't know how to live on my own but youtube had many if not all the answers.

I'm sorry you're in this situation, having even one friend could help you out so much, and I hope you're of age where you can go and rent a place, or have literally anywhere else to stay.