ESFP problem IRL
So, as an ESFP, I have this huge problem of wanting everybody to like me. And by everybody, I mean EVERYBODY, including the people I don’t even like. Don’t ask, it doesn’t make sense to me either.
To get them to like me, I become the perfect person in their eyes and I’m really good at that cuz I can sense what they want. (Se)
Now, with trying to please every different personality, naturally, I become my less true self to cater to each person’s individual likes and dislikes.
Like, with my ENFP dad I have to pay a lot of attention to him and always smile because it shows that I care about him and what not. (Depressed homie btw. It’s hard to smile sometimes.)
With my ISTP friends, I have to act smart and cool and downplay my voice so that they don’t call me stupid lol. (ESFP’s worst nightmare; being called stupid, loud, annoying, shallow, and the like) (Those stereotypes hurt, bruh)
With my INTJ friend, I know that my type especially can be annoying to him so I downplay my voice and calculate my every move so that I appear more acceptable and he will mercifully grace me with his presence.
So, as a result of this unbearable need to feel accepted and loved and appreciated, I am literally running myself ragged, trying to keep everything together at parties and such, where a lot of them are together.
But it sort of backfires on me when I realize I’m just sitting by myself, watching the crowd and feeling too heavy to play the games even the INTJ is participating in, (I get so tired at parties because of this) And then when I get home, sit down with my mom and just let the quiet atmosphere surround us, I feel like an empty shell. As if I drained out all of myself for people who hardly paid attention to me in the first place.
