Summary - After getting out of rehab, Hyeri is reunited with her childhood crush and best friend after six years. He begs to get her back on her feet, and although she knows she will just be toxic to him, she can’t say no. Just as she thinks, she starts to mistake after mistake - breaking herself and Chanyeol in the process.
"Why aren't you with Chanyeol tonight? You two must be close. He's never been one for introducing us to anyone." Do Kyungsoo said to me, as I stared at the alcohol he clutched in his hands. "I mean, you guys just go here."
I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know what Chanyeol was up to tonight and I tried not to make it my business. We never got together over the years of our friendship, no matter how badly I wished for it. I couldn't help but hope he wasn't with a girl, even though I knew he deserved nothing but the best. I let him go when he left after introducing me to the boys over dinner, I let him go without nagging or questioning as he left me in the care of his group members.
I spent a while with them at the restaurant a while after Chanyeol left, but slowly, the all ended up leaving me. I wasn't upset that they had left me because I wasn't anyone's responsibility and they had been so warm and welcoming to a girl who was coming in and changing up their routines. Despite his plans, Do Kyungsoo stayed. Maybe it was pity, or maybe he wanted the night off. I didn't know.
Do Kyungsoo helped me find my way back to my hotel room at the hotel they were all staying at and in effort to show him that I appreciated his care, I offered him in. Which his dark eyes told me that he needed company, just the way I deep down did as well. I just got out of rehab and while Chanyeol had yet to tell his group members about my problems, I was struggling to get acclimated back into the real world. It had only been a few days, and everything was still so jarring. Do Kyungsoo needed a friend, and so did I. Yet, neither of us seemed keen to talk about why.
I let him wash his stress away with alcohol that shouldn't have been in my hotel room in the first place. Chanyeol would surely have a fit the way he did on the airplane when I was offered wine. I was itching for a sip of what Do Kyungsoo was having, but when he offered I declined after remembering the way Chanyeol looked at me when he left me with the boys. It was a look telling me not to screw up, and I didn't want to disappoint him the way I'm sure I did when he found out what I had gotten myself into since he left.
See, Chanyeol and I were neighbors and best friends since we were children. While we were three years apart, we still had a tight bond and we were inseparable - at least until he had to move away. A lot happened when Chanyeol left when I was fifteen, it was all like a domino effect. One thing after another went wrong until I was so fucked up, I had to be admitted to a rehab and mental institution when I was eighteen. It took me two years to get to the point where they thought I was 'cured' but I knew that I was far from it. Now, here I am, a twenty-one-year-old mess that is getting caught up in the life of someone who is far too pure for me to meddle in. I missed Chanyeol and I needed him more than anything; I realized this when I saw his face for the first time in around six years. But he didn't need me.
Do Kyungsoo's eyes were wide and dark, and the way he looked at me told me he had some demons too. Which led me to open my mouth and instead of answering his question, I asked him one. "Why did you stay with me?" I gestured around my large and overly extravagant hotel room.
"You looked like you needed someone to stay with you." His heart shaped lips didn't smile. "You just got here. I don't know why Chanyeol decided to leave you behind. I mean, he brought you here after all. You shouldn't be spending your first night here alone. Why did he bring you here after all?" I wasn't sure if Do Kyungsoo was just a talker or if it was the alcohol but I tried not to be offended. After all, I didn't know why Chanyeol decided to bring me along.
When he picked me up on my release day, I was baffled. Baffled that he had found me but more baffled that he had come back for me. It had been six years since I had seen him and almost six years since I talked to him. We had a short two days of freedom before he broke the news that he had to leave me, but he actually hadn't intended on leaving without me.
"I have to go back." He broke to me sitting in the hotel room we had gotten when I got out since I no longer had my apartment.
I nodded slowly and tried not to show that I was sad. I knew his life was completely differently now. He was a star, a big deal. "Thank you for coming back." I said quietly, my head turned towards the ground.
He grabbed my chin and lifted it up. "Hey, I told you I would." I looked into his deep eyes and watched as a look that could only be guilt, washed over him. "I'm sorry it took me so long. I would have come sooner had I known... but you weren't answering my calls or texts so I assumed you didn't want to see me anymore."
I shook my head. "No, don't be sorry. I'm not your responsibility. I didn't keep a cell phone consistently over the years and eventually... things got to the point where I didn't want to talk to you anymore because I knew you would be disappointed. I'm glad I didn't have your number because I just would have made things hard for you." I bit my lip as he still clutched my chin. "I tried to forget about you during my dark days because I would be consumed with guilt but when I went to rehab and became sober, you were in my every thought. I wished every day you would come back and I hated myself for being so selfish. Now here you are, and I am so selfishly happy but you do have to go back and live your life. I'll be okay, and even better than I would have had I not seen you."
Chanyeol looked at me in a way he hadn't in a long while and I tried to slow my rapidly beating heart. It was amazing how I could still love the same person for all of these years, it was amazing that my heart still reacted to him the same way it did six years ago. "I thought about you until it hurt. Although, it wasn't hard to get to that point. I had to hire a private investigator because I wanted to know if you were okay... when I found out about everything, I freaked out. I was so mad at myself for leaving you and things fell apart for you. I needed to see you but since I wasn't family, they wouldn't allow me to. I found out your release date and I waited two months. I didn't contact you for fear you wouldn't see me." He shook his head and released my chin. Grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze. "You were so happy to see me." He smiled, reminiscing on just two days prior. "I couldn't help but cry. You're so skinny and much frailer than my strong girl from before." My heart fluttered with his words.
The way he treated me still had me wondering if he felt the same way I did, but I knew that after he found out all my dirt, there was no way he could feel the way I felt and probably always would.
He shook his head. "Anyway, I'm not leaving without you."
I looked at him, shocked. "Chanyeol, you have to leave."
"Hyeri." He sighed. "You're right, I am leaving. And you're coming with me." He licked his lips and then added a "please".
"Why would I come with you? There is no place for me in your life. I am fine here, I promise."
"You're clearly not fine here."
"See, and this is why I wouldn't have contacted you."
"Let me help you get back on your feet. You mean a lot to me and I don't want to go without you." His voice dripped with sorrow and sincerity
"I don't know how it would even work. Really, I'm okay."
I saw his jaw clench and I automatically flinched. I clenched my eyes tightly and tried to shake the bad thoughts away, I didn't want to remember the things I had been through at this moment. The flashbacks weren't welcome when I was around my safety net, Chanyeol. His clenched jaw wasn't the same as it was with the other men. "Who do you have? Who do you have to help you?"
I paused for a moment.
"Who do you have?"
I closed my eyes again, trying not to lash out on the one person I had left. "It doesn't matter."
"You have me. That's it. But that's all you need. Accept my help."
I groaned and released his hand. "I don't need the pity, Chanyeol. You of all people should know I don't go for that. I don't want you to help me because you know that you're all I have. I can get on my feet alone."
He put his hand on my thigh. "I'm not doing this out of pity. If anything, I'm doing it selfishly. I need you with me. I want to make up for the six years I couldn't see your face. Please."
"I just don't understand."
"You're my best friend and the most important person in my life. Please, come with me. I can't make you understand any other way."
"I don't have a place there, among nine boys." I shrugged.
He smiled and touched one of my cheeks. "I already arranged that. You're going to be helping us with our schedules, getting ready, staying healthy, cleaning, etc. You're going to be like the mom of the dorms once we get there. We've needed a woman around to help us get our heads on straight for a while."
"I don't know if I'm the best person for that," I said honestly. Wanting to selfishly accept his offering but at the same time, knowing better. "I'm not that good." It was true. I wasn't good. I had drug problems and problems with men in my past. More than I liked to remember.
"You took good care of me and all those around us when we were younger, don't think I forgot. Now I will take care of you, and you will take care of me and the boys. You'll get paid and have a place to stay. All you have to say is yes."
I bit my lip. "Chan-"
He cut me off. "Please."
"Really I –"
"For me. If you don't want to do it for anything else, do it just for me. It's been six years and this is all I'm asking for."
His pleading made me weak and Chanyeol knew he was my soft spot, and even though deep in my stomach I could feel that I would end up regretting my decision, I couldn't deny him. "Okay."
I was still upset that I had agreed to it, but Chanyeol was pleading and I didn't understand it still. I guess it had only been a day since he had pleaded me and we boarded our plane to Seoul. He knew I was all that was left behind in my tortured past, he knew I was alone and even if he didn't say it I knew he felt guilty and was taking on some of the blame. Most of the reason that I agreed to Chanyeol's proposal was because I loved him. Because one hit of him was never enough and without him, I didn't know if I could be sane again.
"I did need someone to stay with me," I said, pulling away from thoughts of Chanyeol. "Thank you."
Do Kyungsoo still didn't smile. "I have a lot on my shoulders right now." He sighed. "So I'm glad to be in the company of someone who won't add to that."
I smiled at him. I always enjoyed caring for others and making other people feel better, just like Chanyeol said. "What can help you feel better?"
His eyes were so heavy it nearly killed me. I remember my eyes looking the same way for the past few years. My eyes looked the same until Chanyeol came into view. "Drinking helps." He said sadly.
And that he did, he continued to drink until I decided to take the alcohol away from him. "Yah. Do Kyungsoo, you have to stop now." He tried to hold onto the bottle, but somehow my weak hands managed to pull it away from him. He looked at me with a look of hatred and I tried not to take it personally.
With the alcohol clutched tightly in my hands, I tried not to be tempted by the promises the alcohol whispered to me. I closed my eyes tightly and carried it off into the large bathroom and I stashed it underneath the sink, leaving a mental note to throw it out when I didn't have a sad, drunk man in my hotel room.
When I came back, his head was pressed against the bar and he had his palms pressed roughly into his hair. I approached him gently. "Do Kyungsoo, do you want me to help you go back to your hotel room?"
He shot up and looked at me with bloodshot eyes. "Please, don't make me go there. I don't want to be alone right now."
I sighed and he grabbed onto my wrist, latching his thin fingers around me. I looked down to where his hand was. "Okay, okay. You can stay." I hadn't cared for a drunk person other than myself in a long time and even for myself, it had been two years since I had been forced sober in rehab. I was sure it was going to be a long night.
He didn't let go of my wrist as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I couldn't help but be disappointed seeing as Chanyeol left me at around seven and it was now past ten and I still hadn't heard from him. I pushed the thoughts of him with a woman as far away as I could but I couldn't help but be upset.
"What's wrong?" Do Kyungsoo cooed gently, rubbing my wrist with his fingers, his bad mood floating away like a departing rain cloud.
"It's nothing."
He pulled me closer to where he was sitting on the barstool. "I don't believe it. I know all about hiding your feelings so you don't have to hide around me." I couldn't help but stare at his lips as he talked. The shape of his lips intrigued me. I watched as his lips finally pulled into a small smile and I found myself smiling back. "Talk to me."
"I was just thinking about how late it is."
I looked up from his lips finally and he had a black eyebrow raised. "Go on."
"I was thinking about Chanyeol."
He nodded. "So, something is going on between you two."
I put my hands up and shook my head. "No, no. I was just hoping to hear from him soon. I mean he did bring me here."
"I can see it in your eyes. You can't hide this stuff from me. I can see what the others can't, and mostly because I am hiding so much from them." I didn't know how someone drunk could be so genuine but it made me feel warm inside. "You love him, don't you?"
I said nothing. Of course, I loved him, but I didn't want it getting out. I didn't say anything because if I lied, it would be evident but I didn't want to admit it either.
"It's okay, you don't have to admit it. I know it's hard. Love is poison anyway." He said with a drunken laugh.
"Can we keep that a secret?"
He smiled mischievously. "Keep what a secret?"
I bit my lip to hold back a grin. "Thank you."
He nodded. "Some things are meant to be kept away from others."
"What about you?"
"Hmm?" He hummed absentmindedly.
"What is ailing you tonight?"
"Chanyeol is your ailment of the night then." He said with a Eureka-like tone, ignoring my question. "He is why you've had this tortured expression on your face since he left. Any other girl would be pleased to be left with eight talented and attractive men. You just seemed lost. I'm sorry he has that hold on you." Do Kyungsoo was deep and he got me in ways that I hadn't expected a stranger too. I was appreciating his company even more because of that. He was right, I was lost when he left me alone but I tried to hide it. Either he was really good at reading people, or everyone could see it. I felt my cheeks warm up, the last thing I needed was this group of boys to be able to see how in love I was with Chanyeol. If they knew, then he would know and I didn't want to ruin our relationship.
"Tell me what has a hold on you."
"Want a list of what doesn't?"
I nodded, knowing exactly what he meant. "I get it."
"I'm pretty fucked. I try to hold it in, but sometimes it gets the best of me." He still had his fingers rubbing my wrist and I stood in front of him on the barstool.
"Did Chanyeol tell you guys about me?"
"No." He said with a slur.
"Good. I'm fucked too."
One corner of his lips turned into a smile. "This is why I was compelled to stay behind with you then. I could sense the fucked-ness." And that made me laugh. He laughed back.
"What now?" I asked, wondering what else to do with this night since we were both caught up in being fucked up.
He rubbed his fingers up my forearm and I looked down at his hand once again, which was sending goosebumps up my arms and down my body. My body tingled at his gentle touch. I wasn't repulsed by the way he touched me sensually like I would have if this would have been any other drunk man. Do Kyungsoo got me and I was drunk on the look in his eyes.
"Let's take each other's pain away." He said with a deep slur, but I could tell that he was still coherent. He didn't have to spell out his words, I knew what he meant but I wasn't sure if this was something I should do. Do Kyungsoo seemed like he could keep a secret, but wouldn't it be wrong of me to take advantage of him when he was drunk? Wouldn't it be bad to find something to take my pain away instead of dealing with it? I was sober of drugs, alcohol, sex and hurting myself. Would this cause problems?
I shuddered as Do Kyungsoo's other hand latched around my other wrist. "You okay?" He said as he rubbed my wrists and forearms.
I nodded even though inside I was a ball of worry. I was irritated that I was forced to think things out now, I wished I could be ballsy the way I used to be when I had the drugs. It felt wrong, it felt like I would come to regret sleeping with Do Kyungsoo but at the same time, the gentle rubbing of my wrists and arms, his gentle words, and company was enough to make it feel right. There were no feelings attached here, so neither of us could get hurt. The only feelings we had were pain and sex was a way to vent, get it all out and I needed that more than anything.
I needed Do Kyungsoo more than anything right now. I closed my eyes for a moment, and then dropped my phone to the ground, forgetting about Chanyeol for the time. Chanyeol wasn't here and while he wanted to help me, he wasn't going to give me what Do Kyungsoo was offering right now. The way Do Kyungsoo was looking up at me was making me tremble, I hadn't had a man look at me like that in so long.
He stood up, joining me and he pulled me over to the nearest wall, pressing me against it. He stared at me for a long time, my breathing was shallow. Do Kyungsoo was an attractive man and I couldn't help but feel like I didn't deserve his attention, although the look in his eyes was telling me otherwise.
He held my wrists gently as we were pressed against each other and I was certain he could feel my rapidly beating heart. He smiled at me softly, the alcohol scent was heavy on him but his cologne was overpowering it and flowing through my senses beautifully. With hesitation, he removed a hand from one of my wrists and pressed it along my jaw line, caressing my cheek. "You are stunning. Did I mention that?"
I saw what I looked like in the mirror. My frail body, sicken and riddled with scars from years of different abuse couldn't amount to stunning. His words should have made me feel good, and to a point they did but they also made my guilt hang above me. Guilt for years of not caring for myself. I couldn't wait to gain some of my weight back and start to try to look normal again.
He pressed closer and I closed my eyes as he tilted his head towards mine, pressing his heart-shaped lips against mine and making me sigh into him. He was gentle, warm, and tasted like alcohol. My body trembled as he continued kissing me, his lips caressing me as if we were lovers. He pulled away and my eyes flashed open, prepared for him to push me away and be done with me. Maybe he could taste my sins on my lips? But his eyes were dark with lust, and he had a small smile.
He kissed his way down my neck and down to my collarbone, where he sucked on the skin that covered it. I breathed out a moan, relishing in the feeling and the scent of Do Kyungsoo. He was intoxicating, just like a hit of a potent drug or a strong alcohol. I was feeling high, in a way I hadn't in over two years.
I hadn't been with a man since before rehab, and with what few men I can remember, they were never like Do Kyungsoo. Never this attractive or attentive.
He continued kissing and sucking at my collar bone for several minutes until he released his soft lips from my skin and looked at me. He was starting to look sober, but his bloodshot eyes told me the alcohol was still working through his system. I bit my lip and reached out toward his face. "Are you sure?" I didn't want him to change his mind now, but if he would regret me when he was sober, I wouldn't be able to bear being around him. "I don't want to take advantage of the situation."
Do Kyungsoo raised any eyebrow and gave me a smirk. "If anything, I feel like it is me taking advantage of the situation. I can hold my alcohol, you shouldn't be worried about me. What about you? Are you sure? Do you have anyone to answer to?"
I tried not to think about Chanyeol, but it just made me think of him more. But I didn't have to answer to him. I wanted to, but I didn't have to. Besides, it's not like he was here for me now.
Do Kyungsoo rubbed his thumb across my lips. "There's that look again." He looked at me sadly. "You don't need to think of him right now."
Standing here with my back pressed against a wall, and him pressed against me, I was irritated that Chanyeol was allowed into my thoughts like that. Here I was being wanted by a man and he was ruining it for me. I found myself growing angry.
"Woah there, tiger." He whispered. "Are you sure you don't want to have a drink? Alcohol helps mellow me out, maybe it will help you. " I thought he would move away from me, but he still stayed pressed against me, giving me his full attention.
I started to shake. I wanted the alcohol so bad, I wanted to take away the several emotions my body was playing through. I needed it to stop. Sobriety was hard enough in rehab, but they didn't teach us how hard it would be in the real world. There, in an institute, a lot of the pain and emotions can't reach you. Once you leave, everything is amplified. It's like I'd forgotten how to live. "I just want it to stop," I said gently while resting my hand on his shoulder. I sighed. "I have so many built up emotions, everything at once. I want it gone."
"So do I, babe." He brushed his thumb over my lips again, regarding me with his dark eyes. "I can make it go away. I can turn all those emotions into pleasure if you still want it. Use me and I will use you." Chills rolled up my back and throughout my body.
I nodded, not caring about the regret I may have later, not caring about the guilt. "Please take it away."
He didn't say anything after that, he just went back to kissing me, but he wasn't as gentle this time. His lips were a little harsher but I wasn't bothered by it. Gentle wasn't going to relieve all our pain. His tongue pressed against my lips, gently at first but rougher until I finally let him in. As he kissed me, his hands moved to my neck and he draped them slowly down my shoulders, arms, and torso. His hands stayed gentle as his lips were rough against mine.
Do Kyungsoo's hands caressed nearly every piece of my body that he could. I felt the emotions dripping slowly away as his hands circled around me. After a few minutes, he pulled my legs away from the wall, gripped my thighs tightly and wrapped them around his waist. I squealed as he lifted me into the air, but he didn't break our kiss.
He brought me over to the bed, as I grasped onto his neck tightly, afraid he didn't have the strength to take me that far, but his strength proved to be enough. He didn't waver at all and his arms stayed locked around me tightly until my back dropped to the bed, which he softened his touch on my thighs and made his place between my legs. He continued kissing me, biting and pulling at my lips with his. I couldn't help but smile.
He took his hands from my thighs and moved them to my shirt, pushing it up with his pale fingers. His eyes met mine, as to ask if it was okay, so I urged him on. He pushed my shirt up to my black lace bra and the corners of his mouth turned into a smile. My breasts were large, so I knew he was enjoying the sight. He kissed down each side, inhaling as he did so and with a gentle hand, he grabbed my waist, lifting it up and unsnapping my bra after a few short moments. He pushed it out of the way, leaving my breasts free. I had the instinct to cover myself since it had been so long since I had revealed my body to anyone, but I pushed the thought away. He resumed kissing each breast, kneading them gently while kissing each of my nipples tenderly.
I watched him as if I was hypnotized and I knew I had to be wet already. Do Kyungsoo was driving me crazy with the simplest of his actions. He kissed his way from my nipples, down to my belly button, alternating between kissing and licking and sending chills up my spine, causing my back to arch up. He nipped my stomach right below my belly button and kissed his way down to the button of my jeans. Without hesitation, this time, he unbuttoned and unzipped my pants so quickly, the were off before I realize what was going on. I was nearly naked in front of Do Kyungsoo and my subconscious wanted me to be shy, but I just didn't have it in me.
He kissed his way around my underwear and moved to my thighs, worshiping my thighs in ways I could have never imagined. I sat up slightly and pulled my shirt off the rest of the way and I gestured for D.O to come to me. He moved away from my thighs and sat up in front of me. I unbuttoned the shirt he was wearing, struggling with the buttons so much that he laughed gently and helped me undo them. He undid his pants but remained in his underwear, as he leaned back down to kiss my neck. With his legs between my thighs, he pressed himself against me and I could feel that he was hard. It made me feel better since I knew I had to be drenched between my legs. He was enjoying himself too. I moaned gently in his ear as he pressed harder against me. He continued my neck assault as he pressed his palm against my stomach and slid it down into my underwear, pressing his fingers against my clit and earning a louder moan into his ear.
He moaned in response, as he pressed harder and made circles with his hand. His hands moved deliciously in patterns that my head wasn't able to fathom as I was too busy moaning wildly in his ear. The more he touched me, the more I started aching to have him inside me. I was already ready to beg for it. He was making me feel so good, and he deserved some of the sweetness for his riddled mind. He continued touching me and moved one of his long fingers to my entrance, rolling it in circles, spreading my juices around. Without warning, he pressed his finger deep inside me, arching his finger up and pumping it in and out of me. I was moaning so loudly, I was sure it had to annoy him but he just looked into my eyes and moaned in response.
"You like that?" He whispered, breathlessly.
I closed my eyes and my head lolled back. "Yes," I said hoarsely, as he continued to finger me. He pressed his fingers, harder and deeper, making it painful but blissful all at the same time. "Do Kyungsoo." I moaned out his name and this just made him increase his pace. He fingered me much longer than I expected, where most guys did it for a few seconds, he was going on for minutes like he was trying to get me there. It didn't take long for him to get me there, though. I was moaning loudly, and Do Kyungsoo showed that he was pleased with it by moaning back.
Bliss hit me hard suddenly and I came, and I came hard. My body trembled as I moaned louder and squirmed against his finger. He wrapped his free hand around my waist as he helped me ride out my orgasm. When it was over, he slipped his finger out of me and looked at me. "What, are you too shy to say when you're coming?"
I closed my eyes tightly and shook my head.
He chuckled lightly. "Don't worry. You don't need to tell me, I can feel it." His words made me shiver but what really made me shiver was when he lifted the finger that had just finished invading me, to his mouth and sucked my juices off. My eyes grew wide and I groaned at him. He was driving me crazy. "So sweet." He whispered. I was shocked by his gesture, but yet so turned-on.
I bit my lip and gave it a lick. I was so ready to have sex with this devastatingly amazing man. I reached down and tugged at his underwear and he smiled. He lifted back up and pushed down his underwear. I stared at him, too stunned to speak. It had been a while since I had seen a man fully naked, and the first time I had ever seen one as perfect as he was. His dick was perfect. He wasn't enormous in size which I appreciated, but he was definitely well endowed and the best part was that he was thick. Any woman could tell you girth is what matters. He was perfect from his tan shaft to the rosy pink color of his tip. I couldn't wait to feel him.
He let me admire him for a few more moments, before he gave me another rough kiss, using his tongue and his teeth. After finally removing my underwear, he pushed himself back between my legs, spreading them wide and giving me a stare that nearly killed me. Grabbing himself tightly, I watched as he rubbed himself against my slit, spreading my wetness around and on himself. I moaned when he started to gently thrust himself at my opening. Just barely touching it, and not quite going in. The sensation was amazing even though my body was practically screaming for him to just get inside me already.
Finally, Do Kyungsoo stopped my agony, and he pushed his way inside me, stretching me in ways that I could have only dreamed of. He let out a load moan. He started out slow, pushing in and out of me as if he was relishing in the feeling himself. "You feel absolutely amazing." All traces of his bad mood seemed to be gone. He was caught up in me and I felt great about it. He didn't seem to be drunk anymore, at least not sloppy drunk. He was taking such care of me.
Do Kyungsoo kept his slow pace for a while until I groaned. "You're killing me."
His smirk couldn't be contained. "Do you want more?" His sensuality was dangerous. I would have never looked at him and been able to tell he had this side to him.
"Yes." I moaned.
"Say it."
I moaned again. "I want more."
He picked up his pace quickly, pushing in and out of me so fast and sweetly that I thought I would pass out. The room was filled with the sound of our heavy breathing, moaning, and our skin slapping together.
I squirmed against him, wanting him to fill me up even more than he already was. Do Kyungsoo sped up to fulfill my wants and before I knew it I was coming again. I screamed out and he pressed his hand to my mouth with a smile. He playfully shushed me, but quickly released my mouth and my moans filled the air once more.
He thrust his hips in circular movements, helping me ride out my orgasm. He was rock hard and his dick continued to stretch me out as he thrust on. I tried moving my hips at his pace, but is was messy. He moaned louder anyways. "I'm so close, beautiful." He said, bending down and kissing my ear.
"Then cum for me." I turned my head and whispered to him. His deep eyes bore into mine and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss as I felt him getting closer. He kissed me roughly, grabbed my hair with one hard and pressing against my collar bone with the other.
Several minutes later, he was still going, right up until the point when he made me cum for the third time. I moaned out loudly again but he didn't cover my mouth. This orgasm was the most intense and there was no doubt that other people could hear it. My limbs shook while my orgasm rode out and Do Kyungsoo reached his peak. He let out a series of sexy moans until I felt his warmth spill out inside of me. He collapsed onto his forearms while still on top of me. I was worried that my emotions would come flying back at me, but when Do Kyungsoo smiled, I smiled too and my heart fluttered. They didn't come flowing back after sex. In fact, I felt nothing at all other than bliss.
He finally pulled himself out of me after a few moments of staring at each other with stupid smiles. He rolled off me and I expected him to get off but, for some reason he didn't. Instead, he laid comfortably next to me and he put his arms out, offering to hold me. I wasn't sure if I should accept it, but after remembering how sweet he had been to me and how attentive he had been, a cuddle was exactly what I needed... and maybe he needed it too.
Do Kyungsoo pulled me up into his arms and embraced me tightly. I sighed, feeling refreshed and relaxed. The warmth of our bare bodies against each other, comforted me several ways. We stayed like that for a long while until my phone started to vibrated and play music loudly. I groaned and went to get up, but Do Kyungsoo unraveled himself from me and pushed me back down. "I'll get it." He said sweetly.
He got up, pulled on his boxers and strolled over to where I had dropped my phone earlier. He picked it up and stared at it hesitantly as it continued to vibrate. I furrowed my brows until he smiled and pressed the screen. "It's nothing important, I assume."
"Who was it?" I wondered as he placed my phone on the bar and walked towards the bed again.
He eyed me carefully, but he didn't answer. "I should probably get going." And when he said those words, my heart dropped. Not because he was leaving, well that was part of it, but mostly because I knew who had to of called me. I jolted up, while Kyungsoo dressed slowly. He shook his head. "Hey, all of that was for nothing if it didn't take your worries away. Don't make me feel like I didn't do a good job, I really thought I pleased you." He had a smile, but I could see the sadness behind it. He didn't want me to be affected by my ailments right now and I appreciated him for it.
"You did a good job, though." I looked up at him, as he finished buttoning his shirt. I gave him the best smile I could come up with. He made me feel so much better. I forgot how sex was supposed to feel and while I had had sex several times in the past, there were very few times that felt the way they were supposed to and I couldn't remember a time as good as him. I had more sex than I could remember in those days when I was on drugs, I was lucky to get out without an STD. But I shook those thoughts away. I didn't want to think about that.
He touched my chin and cheek gently. "Thank you for your time, Ryu Hyeri." He pressed his lips gently to mine one more time. "Have a good night, I will see you in the morning."
I watched him go, wishing he wouldn't because the second he would leave, I knew it would shatter. I knew I would shatter. But I also knew that it wouldn't be good for someone to catch us in bed together.
Once the door was shut behind him, I got up and cleaned up the mess we made on the sheets. Chanyeol had stayed with me in the hotel we stayed at when I first got out, so I didn't know if he would join me again. I sprayed around with some perfume, so he wouldn't be greeted with the scent of my shame when he came in. After that, I showered and dressed into pajamas.
I was happy that I could shower without too many things hitting me, but once I left the bathroom, I reached for my phone and my heart dropped.
I'm sorry it took me so long, Ri. I will be there soon, okay? Don't wait up for me and sleep well. <3
I cringed thinking about who he could have been with and instead of getting sad, I just got mad. I threw my phone back on the bar, knowing I should have just ignored it. I wasn't necessarily made at Chanyeol. Sure, I was mad that he brought me here, left me with strangers and then disappeared, but I was madder that he had the hold on me. I was mad that I loved him all of these years and he wouldn't ever love me back. I was mad that he didn't come back to the pure Hyeri that he had left.
I was also jealous. Jealous of who he could be spending his time with. Jealous enough for me to want him to notice the scent of sex. Jealous enough to want him to see the stains on the sheets. But yet again, not quite jealous enough to let that happen. So, before I got in bed, fueled by jealousy and anger, I sprayed my perfume one more time and scrubbed the sheets with some water.
I folded myself into a ball and cuddled into the soft sheets. Sheets that Do Kyungsoo made all of my worries disappear on. I couldn't help but wish he was here because I couldn't get my mind to let me sleep. Being in the institute I was in, sleep found me easier. They had natural sleep aids that helped me sleep, but now, I didn't have anything. The two nights in the hotel were hard, but Chanyeol eased it, by holding me both times. Now, I was struggling, holding my knees to my chest. I didn't know how I would get through the night since I doubted my ability to sleep.
As I laid in bed, I thought about the fact that I slept with one of Chanyeol's friends. Not just one of his friends, but his band member. I crossed a line I shouldn't have and maybe I wouldn't have done it if Chanyeol would have been around, but it wasn't his responsibility to keep me from sleeping with people. I felt shameful and guilty but it was hard to regret Do Kyungsoo. He was so sweet and I wondered if he would keep it from Chanyeol or if he would tell him. I hoped he would keep it a secret because disappointing Chanyeol was not something I could handle again.
My thoughts continued to harass me as my body felt like it was going through withdraws all over again for the first time. This world was harsh and while I hated rehab at times, I missed the stability, the certainty, and the safety. Drugs couldn't touch me in there, but out here, they were screaming for me. I was angry that nobody had prepared me for this. Culture shock is what it felt like and it wasn't something I welcomed.
I didn't know how long had passed when the door jingled and it clicked open. My heart jumped, wondering if Do Kyungsoo had come back to help wash my worries away. I turned towards the door and to my surprise it was Chanyeol. I forgot he was coming back.
He frowned when he saw me. I eyed him carefully, looking for signs of distress or the fact that he had sex, but he looked polished in his jeans and white t-shirt. His hair was even still nicely done. "What are you doing up?"
My eyes flashed down and I rolled over away from him. He sighed and went to get himself ready for bed. I wanted to cry. I couldn't pinpoint what the exact reason for wanting to cry was, but I felt it in my heart.
When he finally returned, I smelled his cologne. Warm and spicy as it always had been. The bed sunk in as he joined me, and I flinched, thinking about how I had sex in the spot he was laying in. He pressed his hand to my shoulder and. "Are you mad at me?"
He didn't give me the chance to reply before he spoke again.
"I'm sorry I was out so late, I had business to take care of. I assume the boys cared for you?" I nodded at his question because I didn't want the chance of slipping up. "Hey, turn around." Do Kyungsoo did.
I turned around let my knees go. He was lying next to me, in a different shirt that was grey and a pair of black sweat pants. I couldn't help but smile at the sight. I loved looking at him. It was easier to be angry at him when he wasn't in front of me but something about his eyes and face, always melted my worries away.
"Did you wait up?" He asked gently, turning his head as he brushed his thumb on my face.
"I couldn't sleep."
"Why, what's wrong?" He was still looking at me with careful eyes.
I shrugged. "You were with me the first two nights and that helped me sleep. I'm having a really hard time adjusting. It was easier to sleep there because they gave me sleep aids when it got bad. Here, I have nothing. You were my comfort the other nights but you can't always be my comfort. So don't think I expect that of you."
His eyes softened. "I'm sorry. I should have thought about it. I could have had one of the other guys stay with you."
I shook my head. Thinking of Do Kyungsoo. "No, it's okay. It's not your responsibility."
He poked my cheek playfully. "You always took care of me when we were younger, even though I was older. So, let me take care of you a bit." He lifted his long white arms out towards me and I hesitated. "Come here." He said gently, in a way that made butterflies do flips inside my stomach.
I moved forward and he pulled me tightly into his arms. Resting his chin on the top of my head. "Thank you." I whispered, feeling my anger disappear.
"Anything for you." His words touched my heart in ways I wish they wouldn't. "Good night."
Hyeri was childhood best friends with Chanyeol. He was her first love. But everything changes when he moved away from her when she was fifteen and her life comes crumbling down. Six years later, Chanyeol finds her after years of trying - but she isn’t the same girl he left. Hyeri is broken and in dire need of being fixed. Unable to leave her to fend for herself, he brings her to stay at the EXO dorms with him so he can help her get on her feet and be the change in her life that she needs.
Little does he realize, that this will break her more and that the events to follow may just crush Chanyeol and the eight other boys - especially as Hyeri begins to accidentally start crossing them off a list she never wanted to have. Will her love for Chanyeol triumph over everything or will it make her just fall deeper into the eight other gorgeous boys?
Will Hyeri survive the emotional ride of her life? Will she survive an addiction that she never had before?
A/N: This is obviously a story filled with Mature content. There will be lots of sex, self-abuse, addiction, and the occasional drugs and alcohol. I don’t claim the EXO boys obviously and since this is fiction, the boys may not and most likely will not be portrayed as they are in real life. If there are facts you deem ‘incorrect’, remember it is a fiction and I probably have a reason for changing facts. :) I hope you enjoy.
You definitely hated Byun Baekhyun.
It was 2am local time, you had classes right in the morning, yet still the prank is calling you unstoppable. You roled your eyes before remembering he couldn’t see you and picked up the phone, hearing music and laugh in the back. He was drunk. “Y/N darling, where the fuck are you?” He asked, barely being able to speak properly. “At home, Byun, where you should be. If your manager discover you are drunk in a fucking Monday you’ll be dead in two secs.” Baekhyun was friends with you ever since you moved to Korea, five years ago when you requested a interchange in your college and they send you to live next door to his dorm.
Back when you moved, you didn’t know he was member of a high successful group in Korea, kpop just wasn’t a phenomenon in your home country. He lived alone with two more guys in his dorm, guys that you saw on the video clips of his group, but they were never close with you, not like Baekhyun was.
“Well, we have a problem up in here. I’m bery drunk and I have got no boney and no bar” he said, twisting words. “Did you see? I can’t even talk. Please, Y/N of my heart, come pick me up, I promise you I’ll never ask anything again.”
It wasn’t their fault that you weren’t friends. You were a high functioning introvert and Byun were your friend only because he speaks too much and well, with that puppy face of him he could rip out even the secrets that you managed to bury deep in your soul. “Are you alone, Baek? Why can’t Kyungsoo or Sehun pick you up? Why do I have to go out of my warm house?” You growled, barely awake.
“They’re drunk too.” He laughed and you cursed him in every language you knew.
You put yourself in your feet, it was a hot night and you used to sleep half naked, but you managed to wear a cropped top and a skirt. He was at a college party in a campus near where you studied, so you knew pretty well how to get to the place. You were invited to that party also, but as said before, you were a introvert and parties only made you angry.
Wherever you looked there were drunken girls in short clothes – just like yours, and the boys didn’t really look different also. It was pretty hard for you to find the guys, but when you did, you wish you didn’t. Baekhyun was sit on the sidewalk, head down so he could puke in the street while Sehun run his finger through the rust colored hair of my friend, and Kyungsoo… well, Kyungsoo was managing the problem on his pants by corralling some brunette in the wall nearby. “You fucking pricks! Let’s go!” You said loud enough to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo hear you, as the first one smiled to the image of you.
Sehun helped Baekhyun to walk to where your car was parked and Kyungsoo followed the three of you. He was always the most quiet of them and it was quite a surprise for you to see him wrestling in someone, in early years you even thought he had no voice.
“Are you guys okay? Do you need me to stop by the hospital or something?” You said while driving. You looked to the mirror and saw Baekhyun looking pale and unconscious, you felt desperate. “Mc Donald’s, Y/N. Please go to the McDonald’s.” Baekhyun said, making his both friends laugh and you nod your head, making your way to the restaurant. It was, clearly, empty, and the four of you were alone in the place. Baekhyun ordered half of McDonald’s menu, while the other boys stuck only to the drinking menu. When they order arrived, Sehun was the first to speak: “God save Y/N. Alias, do you have money to pay all Baekhyun is eating? I spent all on my in drinks.”
“Of course you did.” You said, lifting up while making your way to the restroom.
Your image in the mirror felt like shit. You had eye bags and your lips were pale, you had no make up and in that time of the night your clothes felt not so appropriate. You sigh, switched on the faucet and let the water wet your wrists. It would be a hard morning.
While you faced yourself in the mirror’s image, you heard the door. You looked to the corner of your eyes, seeing Kyungsoo leaning in the wood door, looking at you with a exquisite gaze.
“Why don’t you ever talk to me?” He asked with a frown. You turned around to face him, feeling the sink behind you, chocking against the warmth of your body. It made you shiver. “I don’t talk much, Kyungsoo. So don’t you, I’ve realized.” His gaze lock on yours, he was looking quite serious. “Yes, you’re right. I don’t talk much and I think we should…” he moved away from his leaning, getting close to you. “I think we should, y’know, be friends”. Kyungsoo took a curl of your hair in his finger, gazing deep into your eyes. He was also blocking the door, the taller one wanted to make sure you wouldn’t run away.
“Be friends? Alright then, we can be friends. Now let’s go, guys are waiting.” You gulped when he didn’t pulled apart, but he got closer to you and his smirk got bigger. He had an arm in the wall behind you now, you could feel his breathing in the skin of your face, alcohol scent. Let’s be true here, you always wanted to be like this with him, but you never imagined he would be drunk and all sappy like he is right now. “Kyungsoo, you are drunk. You should never kiss sober girls when you’re drunk. Now please, let me go, I need to take you guys home.” And you tried to move away from him.
“This is a sober wish, believe me.” Kyungsoo got closer, kissing your neck as you fight in your insides to pull him away. And before you did, you whispered in his ear: “Well you know where I live”.
so hello people ^^ I am the first admin to be on this acc, admin drax and I am so happy to finally having time to create my very own exo fan account. here I will post the latest news about EXO and other kpop groups as well as fanfictions and smuts //smirk smirk
hope we get along and follow and message me to talk to me because I’m a lonely duck ;-; and I will love to talk to people with similar likes haha...
I am also looking for some peeps that love writing fanfics and smuts about exo and other groups!! please message if interested. :)
