#external validation

[iambrillyant]

“the beautiful thing about being your own muse is that you never have to be at the mercy of anyone’s gaze to feel validated, you never have to rely on external energy to feel like you are worthy of celebration, you continue being art regardless of whether they see you or not.”

— billy chapata

[deebrisbyfish]

So, I've been making webcomics and posting them online foooor... ugh... a fart shy of 25 years now. And in that time, I have yet to really learn this lesson. Truly, I am the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. :)

[crimson-revelation]

DO NOT LET GOOD MOMENTS DECIDE YOUR IDENTITY FOR YOU

One of the easiest ways to interrupt your own transformation is by letting one good moment convince you that your work is done.

Sometimes all it takes is temporary emotional satisfaction.

A moment of relief.

A brief feeling of validation.

One experience that makes your current reality feel comfortable enough to stay in.

And just like that, you forget.

You forget why you wanted to change.

You forget the version of yourself you were trying to leave behind.

You forget how long you tolerated patterns that kept you feeling stuck, limited, and disconnected from the life you knew you were capable of creating.

This is such a subtle trap because one good moment can feel exactly like real change.

Both can bring peace.

Both can create certainty.

Both can make it feel like something has shifted.

But real transformation is not determined by how you feel during one emotionally satisfying moment.

It is revealed by who you remain after that moment passes.

A single good moment can make your old reality feel acceptable again.

It can make the familiar feel inviting.

It can make you loosen your commitment to the new identity you were trying to stabilize because suddenly, there no longer seems to be urgency.

So you stop reinforcing the new self-concept.

You stop embodying the standards you were building.

You stop persisting.

And because your old identity has years of repetition behind it, it quietly takes its place again.

The same thoughts return.

The same emotional patterns repeat.

The same internal assumptions begin shaping your future all over again.

This is another reason people feel stuck.

Sometimes it is not because life became harder.

Sometimes it is because life became comfortable enough for them to stop changing.

I used to experience this myself.

I would have one moment that made me feel reassured, wanted, or emotionally fulfilled, and I would immediately treat that feeling as proof that everything had changed.

I would ease up.

I would stop doing the internal work.

Then I would find myself back in the same reality I had been trying to move beyond.

That taught me something important.

Do not let good moments decide your identity for you.

Let consistency decide.

Let your patterns decide.

Let the version of you that remains when the emotional high fades reveal what has actually changed.

A good moment is something to appreciate.

It is not something to build your conclusions on.

Keep going.

Especially when life feels comfortable enough to make stopping seem justified.

[memes4doom]

[xxdreamscapes]

I resent the TikTok-ification of everything cause wdym a hobby is supposed to make you unique and more interesting??!

Hobbies should be something you enjoy. They can be casual or be full-blown passions. They should bring things like joy and whimsy. You should be able to enjoy them alone if no one else is around. You don’t have to post about how you’re rollerskating 24/7, a lot of things don’t need to be posted or capitalized on. It makes me think that you don’t love yourselves enough to enjoy things on your own. Someone always has to be watching. Ya’ll are wasting your lives away performing for the validation of people who couldn’t give less of a shit and it is SAD

Hobbies don’t need to be attractive or become this productivity contest bitch !

Stand tf up. Enjoy things for what they are, not for the attention or capital they’ll bring

[knightbell]

"Consumerism and The Need For Validation are the only two Modern Government Control Tools that ALL Political Parties have fallen for."

[systemofpsychoticangels]

i’m irritated with myself. i feel like a specific kind of lazy. i have executive dysfunction and also need outside pressure or praise to get anything done, so if no one is expecting something from me, i just don’t do it. i also struggle with age regression and skill regression tied to autism, and it feels like i was more capable a decade ago than i am now. instead of gaining independence, i feel like i’m slowly losing abilities, while my support system is thinning out at the same time. i don’t care enough about my own life to motivate myself. i function to make someone else proud, and right now i have no one to make proud. i never thought i’d be in my 30s needing parental guidance just to manage basic things, but here we are; dysfunctional and embarrassing.

[the-inner-voice]

Ask yourself this: Why do you want to change yourself? Is it to show other people that you have improved, or is it for your own self? Is it to flaunt how happy you are with your life, or do you really want to feel happy about your life? Is it that you want to pretend to be at peace, or do you really want to be at peace with yourself and your life?

This stage will come when you're trying something new in life that's out of your comfort zone. It will feel strange or even uncomfortable for some days, and so you'll feel the urge to give up when no one is watching. That point is very important because it really is a test for us. If we're only trying to be better to get validation from people, then we'll never be able to transform fully. Only when you're clear on the why, the what and how become easy.

So I just want to tell you all — do it for yourself. Let go of that past version for your own self. Nobody has to force you to do it but you.