#self validation

[slfcare]

ten years ago you were so scared of such different things, but you survived them anyway. the same goes for five years ago and two years ago. everything that has ever felt like a hurdle, you’ve passed through. so be afraid, identify your fears, and then allow yourself to remember that in just a little while, this will be another thing that you have overcome.

[makingsenseofwhathappened]

hi. just a reminder

you are not the unreliable narrator. you’re the one who kept going after the story got quiet.

healing doesn’t mean forgiving. and forgiveness doesn’t mean they get to rewrite the ending.

love, someone who's been unlearning their own tall tales for years

[honeytonedhottie]

how to master self validation⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍦💕

if you find yourself looking for signs of constant reassurance and looking to see what people think or if they like you or not, you're looking for their validation. it's very common but it becomes a problem when u base ur self worth on other people's perceptions of you. here's how we're going to break free from that...💬🎀

DO I LOOK FOR VALIDATION? ;

sometimes we don't even realize when we're looking for validation from others so here are some things that we do subconsciously that are validation-hungry behaviors.

🍦 asking other people's opinions before making a decision.

🍦 saying yes to things u actually want to say no to.

🍦 needing reassurance before you can stand confidently on an opinion or choice.

🍦 over-analyzing situations or text messages

HOW ARE WE GONNA COMBAT THIS? ;

the first step to combatting this is to become self aware so if you've already done that, GOOD JOB. the second thing that we're gonna wanna do is get rid of any shame that is surrounding our validation hungry tendencies. there is nothing to be ashamed of.

we're going to work through it with some journalling (i'll provide some prompts below) and practicing self validating until it becomes like second nature to us.

HOW TO PRACTICE SELF VALIDATION ;

if you're looking for validation outside of yourself in order to feel loved, figure out how you can show yourself love more. if you're looking for validation outside of yourself in order to feel like you're doing something right, figure out how you can show yourself that you're doing everything right. find the source and then find out how you can give yourself what you're searching for.

JOURNALLING PROMPTS ;

when do i feel like i need other's approval most?

what do i usually hope to hear from others when i seek validation?

what would it look like to give myself that same reassurance instead?

what are three things i know to be true about me, no matter what anyone else thinks?

[succulentsiren]

How to Prioritize Yourself

(in other words, how to put yourself 1st)

1. Before making a decision, ask yourself, “Is this beneficial for me?”

2. Second ask yourself, “Do I want to do this? If so why?” Make sure that whatever you do is serving your best interests.

3. Always take care of your needs. Treat yourself like you would your child. Maintain your basic hygiene. Make sure you've eaten and drank water. Keep up with your skin care. Give yourself compliments and support your dreams. Be financially stable and provide security for yourself. Give yourself everything you desire.

4. Don’t rush or let others push you into doing something you don’t want to.

5. Put your standards on the pedestal. Form your own judgement about things and don’t be persuaded easily.

6. Do what you set your mind to regardless of opposition.

7. Always be in tune with what you desire and never compromise your standards.

8. Fill your own cup first. Invest in yourself.

9. Set clear boundaries and start saying no when you mean it.

10. Release all shame surrounding your self prioritization. Understand, people won’t care about your wellbeing. You have to be the one looking out for you.

11. Gate-keep yourself from those undeserving of your love and energy.

12. Don't tell all your business. Move in silence and cherish your privacy.

13. Stay self-sufficient.

14. Do the things YOU enjoy. Have your favorite cup of coffee. Eat your favorite snack. Watch your favorite show. Do tarot readings. Read occult books. Wear makeup. Dress up. Don't shrink your beliefs, lifestyle or presence just because someone else disagrees with it.

15. Ignore unsolicited advice.

16. Stop trying to prove your worth and just be. You are already enough as you are. You habe nothing further to prove.

[agirlwithglam]

things confident people do, part 1

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 1) when someone compliments them, they say thank you.

WOAH mind-boggling right! they don't self depreciate themselves by going "no no im so ugly" or whatever, but they don't say something like "yeah i know." either. show your gratitude, but don't let it get to your brain.

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 2) take care of themselves.

they make sure to show themselves just as much love as they show everyone else because they know they deserve it just as much as anyone else.

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 3) they show up for themselves.

when they say something, they do it. when they want something, they work to get it. when you feel sad and hurt, you yourself should be the first person to come and support yourself.

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 4) they walk and sit with good posture

confident people know that they don't shouldn't have to make themselves invisible for anyone. it may be scary at first to be walking around looking straight instead of hunched over, but just btw u look rly lame being hunched over. stand up girl.

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 5) they take up space

because they know they are allowed to. they know they deserve it. why would they try to become smaller? for who are you doing that for? literally no one cares and it just looks pathetic. take up space honey, you're allowed to.

GIF by cherrylipssara1

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 6) you like what you see in the mirror

when i look in the mirror, no matter how i look- whether im sweating and crusty musty dusty or even all glammed up- i always love myself. why? because i know that i am not what i look like. i know i am beautiful, but that is not the only admirable thing about me!

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 7) do what scares the crap out of u!!

or basically, step outside your comfort zone. do things that the previous you wouldn't even think of doing, and do it proudly, and do it alone! (me for example, recently i did the most scariest thing ever that i was dreading the entire day and when i did oh my god i was so proud of myself!! esp since i did it alone as well!)

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 8) is not scared of being alone.

who cares? literally who cares? confident people know that no one cares. people look at you because they may be curious or just looking around, but then you don't stay in their mind all day, okay? other people couldn't care less and neither should u!

[iambrillyant]

“april, strengthen my roots and prepare me to bloom without apologizing for how much space my flowers take up. teach me to grow in the direction of my own light, and leave behind every version of me that was only watered by fear of being too much. be the grace i owe myself.”

— billy chapata

[sacredbloominglotus]