Jun 21
i need a microphone perma-strapped to my asshole because some of these farts are actually so rank
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i need a microphone perma-strapped to my asshole because some of these farts are actually so rank
i feel like i rarely see this so i gotta make it exist:
fart fetish humiliation but the humilation comes from someone else (usually someone with higher status than you, popular mean girl, a teacher/boss, a royal etc…) keeps farting and doesn’t want to embarrass themselves so instead they keep blaming you and humiliating you. So now you’re taking the fall for their gross bodily functions but they just can’t hold it in and they have to keep up their status so you’re just gonna have to take the fall for them
Imagine this, you see the prettiest little thing at the club. You catch eachother’s eye and decide to go dance with them. Dancing then leads to grinding and you’re not sure why but you feel like there’s a vibrator on you everytime they grind that sweet ass of theirs onto your crotch.
It just feels.so.good
little do you know they’ve just been farting on you for the past half hour and, yes you noticed the smell, but you definitely didn’t hear the sounds over the club’s loud music. You just can’t seem to figure out the reason this person makes you feel so turned on…
the cure to insomnia is to let me dutch oven you until you pass out btw💗💗💗💗💗
highkey embarrassed: i was on call with one of my friends and i kept having to mute because i could NOT hold back my farts the entire time 😭😭😭😭 i was ripping ass the entire time oh em gee
punishing a gassy sub by massaging their stomach with one hand, grabbing their ass with the other so when they (inevitably) fart on my hand, i can force it under their nose and make them smell how fucking rank they are.
It’s the same thing as pressing a mutt’s nose into their own urine when they have an accident inside the house <3
fart story idea: character A just got asked out by their crush and they’re literally so nervous about it so they call their best friend to the rescue and do the whole “I’ll give you an ear piece and say everything you need to say and do” trope.
Except her so-called “bestie” is also crushing on the same person (or maybe even has a crush on their best friend 🤭) and is looking to sabotage the whole date by misleading their friend.
This leads to character A being told to be an absolute slob during the date.
“oh my gosh he’s so cuuuteee…and he complimented your perfume…? OH MY GOD you should tell him it’s “all natural” and then fart like, SO loud and like, wave it towards him so he smells it 🤭🤭 omg just do itttttt i swear he’s gonna think all your farts smell super good and then he’ll be head over heels for you!!”
and their friend trusts them so much that they just listen to everything that’s being said even if they’re super apprehensive about it all.
“omg bring up how you can totally burp the alphabet, boys love that!!”
“just don’t even wipe the sauce off your mouth, let it sit there so he’ll be all like “oh you have something there” and wipe it off for you!! and then burp in his face while he does it 🤭just trust meeee it’ll be so funny guys love that!!!”
“dude i can smell your fart from my seat in the back that was absolutely fucking RANK, he’s so nice about it too 🤭🤭 he totally laughed it off as if you were embarrassed about it, be confident girlie!! show him you don’t mess around and fart even harder!!”
all until their date is officially grossed out and walks off. Then character A goes to their best friend for comfort and she’s all like “i don’t know what you could’ve done wrong, boys just suck”
okay okay, so. in theory,
if we were to end up in a zombie apocalypse and you get bitten, die and come back to life, do you think those absolutely RANK after death farts would feel good to let out? like. think about it. when you pass away your body lets go of all the methane left in your body. So if you were the part of the living dead it could mean that you would totally feel yourself ripping ass uncontrollably because you’re dying overtime.
Either that or being zombi-fied just means you’re CONSTANTLY letting out bouts of gas because your body is so loose it doesn’t even know how to hold any of it in anymore.
Can we just agree that zombie’s are 100% the gassiest creatures?