#feeling invalid

[shestheworst]

CRASHING THE FREAK OUT & I'm not allowed to be

[starstruck-dandelion]

Am I bad for being Androgynous? I see a lot of hate on tumblr for them.

[leg-o-lamb]

This is a bit random but have any of you guys felt invalid around your friends?? Like I just feel really out of place around them and even online a lot because I always think ‘Do you guys actually wanna be around me or hear what I want to say??’ They’re all just like no, not to that specific question but to what I like I suppose. Haalp??

[yardie-boi]

I've been very unhappy at my job lately and I told my black trans group and they told me they were having similar issues. I ended up even having a dream that I had a break down at work and told everyone to go fuck themselves and other fucked up shit. In real life though I experience all the fucking micro aggressions. we've hired like maybe 35 people and it really made me realize how unhappy people were to the point that they left or they got fired because they were exhausted. But I had to stand back for a little bit and realize the real reason why I decided to work for this company and why I've been here for almost 2 years. I'm here for experience and prepare me for my another job and also having a job that's flexible with my classes and school. Now as you all know I'm currently transitioning I already changed my name at work. And people have already made the conscious effort to call me that. Now idk how me being trans is going to effect my work and the people around me. I did think of changing to another location for a fresh new start because I'm tired of being treated like shit at times and being underpaid and over worked. And people saying transphobic, sexist, homophobic and racist shit to me. I'm tired of seeing in all white management team. It's annoying as hell. And the fake ness and passive aggressiveness. I'm super dissatisfied with my job currently but I need to go back to why I'm here in the first place but if it gets to a bad point I'm going to leave and get a lawyer involved if I face anymore discrimination.

[sapphicbigsister]

i'm pan and in a 2 yr long relationship with a guy i love!!! i really think i'll spend the rest of my life w him.. but, god, i miss girls. i miss girls so much sometimes that it hurts. he's the only boy for me, honestly i'm like 98% into girls and 2% into boys. he knows i'm sapphic and he's OK with it but sometimes he can get kind of anxious if i like, talk about it too much? bc his anxiety makes him jump to "oh no i'm not good enough" but that's not what it is at all!! so i don't really (cont)

mention it around him much bc i don’t want him to feel bad. sometimes it feels like i’ve got part of myself buried and hidden; i never really have anyone to express my identity to. i have no interest in cheating, breaking up, or polyamory, but every now and then i just want to scream because i feel like an ultra-sapphic ball of emotions wearing a hetero facade and the only outlet i have is secretly reblogging things on tumblr and i guess i’m just not sure how to cope with all of these feelings

hi bug bug!! first, thank you so much for being so understanding and i’m sorry this took sooo long!! i hope everything’s going well for ya. i’m happy to hear you’re in such a good relationship!! i think this is a common thing a lot of wlw who are attracted to other genders experience. i know it’s something that personally i wonder about if i were to end up with a guy, especially since i definitely have a strong preference for girls. i don’t wanna feel like my identity is invalid and everyone would just assume i’m straight! i think really the best thing is communication. you said he has some anxiety about not being good enough, and that’s understandable - i know i feel that way too because of my anxiety! but i do think since he is your partner it would be helpful for both of you for you to be able to express your identity without his anxiety causing him to feel a bit threatened by it just because of his insecurities (completely understandable, this isn’t a judgement on him). but i think that by you starting to share this part of you with him, he will become more assured in your choice to be with him and you will feel more like you can be completely honest about yourself in your relationship.

and i think ultimately it’s something that doesn’t just go away - that’s always gonna be a part of your identity, and if you continue to make that commitment to be with him in a monogamous relationship, the reality is you’re still going to have to deal with these feelings. i know that is tough and it can really be hard to cope so i think it’s also good idea to try to form a strong wlw/lgbt community - both online and irl if possible - with people who are having a similar experience as you so you can have that outlet not just with your partner but with other wlw who can better understand exactly what you’re going through. that way, you won’t feel so alone or like you’re identity isn’t valid. you do belong here, and a lot of us have this experience! you being with a man doesn’t make you any less sapphic or mean you can’t prefer women.

i hope this has been helpful and isn’t too unclear!! i’m always here if you need to rant or just wanna talk! stay lovely xxxx

your sapphic big sis <3

[anything-advice-blog]

I confronted my friend about how she would ditch me to hang out with her boyfriend. I told her that I stopped asking her because she'd cancel last minute and she says she only did that because she doesn't see her boyfriend often. Her excuse is invalid because she ditches me every time and seeing her boyfriend sometimes is still one more time than me. The first time I briefly brought it up, she said she wanted to hang out after work only for her to cancel after I waited for her to clock out

Hey love, 

Okay, let’s look at this and try to give your friend the benefit of your doubt. She’s probably a good friend, right? So how often does she see him? 3 days a week? 4? 5? How often does she see you? Is he a new boyfriend? In comparison, do you think you’re upset because she’s hanging out with you less than she did before or are you upset because you don’t see her as often as she sees him? These are very important to ask yourself when you start feeling like you’re being neglected by your friend. There are people who will drop their friends for a significant other but there are people who try to make it work as best as they can and we can just appreciate their effort. If you used to hang out with your friend 5 days a week after school and now she hangs out with her boyfriend 3 days a week and only 2 with you, it’s easy to feel that she’s prioritise him over you. Try talking to her about that and see what she says. You never really know what’s going through her mind. To her, that may be a fair divide. She’s in a relationship. Typically, you want to spend more time with this person to solidify the relationship at first. It’s very similar to having a new friend. You’ll find that you will hang out with your new friend often and slowly it plateaus.

If she has made no plans at all to hang out with you, then that’s a different issue and you should bring it up. Regardless of what it is, bring it up to her. But remember to not antagonise her. You want to know what she’s thinking and where you stand. Your goal isn’t to make her the enemy. Let her know that constantly cancelling on you is disrespectful and very hurtful. If she’s committed to making plans with you, then maybe she needs to stick with it. Unless she absolutely has to see her boyfriend because he’s been out of town for two weeks. Let her know what her actions translate to for you and have a discussion about it. If your friendship is important, she will acknowledge and find a good compromise with you. 

Communication is the golden key to every relationship. So really sit down and talk about it. Don’t just casually bring it up. Really talk about it together. 

Always by your side,

Kelly 

[scr4wny-cl0wn-sn4tch]

sometimes i think my art is pretty decent, but then no one ever pays attention to it (let alone giving feedback) and so i end up comparing it to stuff from more talented artists and trying to take note of what i need to improve on to make people want to see it, but then i wonder, "but why dont people just like my art anyway? its not perfect, but its still worth noticing... right?" even my friends and family dont just like my stuff because its me, like they dont care to support me whether they actually like my stuff or not. and i get really sad because i feel like ill never be good enough in other peoples eyes... not just my art, but in general. i mean, only a couple people out of my handful of followers pay any attention to my blog, and even then its still kinda rare. idk, im just constantly feeling invalid nowadays, so i seek out validation from people and i STILL dont get any. its pathetic...

[scr4wny-cl0wn-sn4tch]