#feeling unimportant

[longhaired-cat]

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[unwelcome-ozian]

[sweetteaswift]

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[theventingvoid]

How many times do you have to be left out before you start to feel it's normal?

How is it learning something after everyone else so isolating, yet so normal?

When did this happen?

When did I start feeling like it was okay to feel like this?

When did I start to feel like I'm the least important person?

And why didn't anyone notice it, or try to stop it?

[anything-advice-blog]

I'm in friend group and this one person likes one friend more than the others. It is obvious that that friend is more important to her than any of us and she'll be there for her but maybe not for us. Is it normal to feel even just a tad bit hurt? I know people have a right to choose their friends and I don't have the right to say anything about it, but still. It makes you wonder about your other friends too. Where do you stand with them? How much do they like you?

Hey love,

It’s normal to feel hurt when someone you cherish a lot doesn’t hold you to the same standards. It doesn’t make us lesser people. It’s natural to want to be important to people who are important to us. However, sometimes it’s rational to take a step back and look at how and why they’re closer than you and that person. Maybe they grew up together. Maybe they’ve been friends longer. Maybe they’ve been through more things together like boys, family drama, etc. There are people that you gravitate more towards in a group of people. You probably have the same with either your parents or a family member. It doesn’t mean that the rest of your family or the other parent doesn’t matter.

It’s fair that you start wondering about your other friends and how much they also like you; however, I don’t think you should get carried away with those thoughts. Pull yourself back and really look at the evidence. It’s easy to just doubt someone’s affection for you because you don’t feel as worthy. But don’t become distrust of them just because of that feeling. Unless they do something that say you don’t matter to them or that you are somehow less than, give them the benefit of the doubt. I have two really close friends. I know for a fact that they are closer to each other than me. It’s because they still see each other in school and hang out more while I am a graduate and work most of the time. But I also know that they both care and love me very much. They don’t ignore me when we’re together or treat me like a stranger. So I have no reason to believe that they like me any less than they had always liked me. Does that make sense?

Don’t let your doubt and insecurities ruin your relationships. It’s hard to do but keep working at it. Keep reminding yourself that you matter even if you’re not their #1. You still matter. Those ranks rarely matter between real friends. So if your friend starts blowing you off and stop caring about you, then perhaps they weren’t really your friend to begin with.

Also when you get older and make more friends you’ll realise that there are different levels of friends. There are classmates - people you know and communicate with in class. There are acquaintances - people you’re friends with and sometimes meet for coffee to discuss group projects or catch up when you run into each other. There are good friends - people whom you can have fun with and will trust with most secrets. There are best friends - people whom will be there for you when you’re blacked out drunk at a party and still think you’re beautiful =. And there’s your person - someone who will bury a body for you if you commit murder. This may not be entirely true for you but I promise you you’ll learn to distinguish the difference between the people you know as you get older.

Always by your side,

Kelly

[morganharpernichols]

To the girl who feels unseen, in the morning: ⠀ Open your bedroom blinds. See the way the sun shines on you? Blue or grey, Light fights through and makes its way to you. ⠀ Now look around your room and see the morning rising, see the shadows falling feel the day is calling, to know you are loved to see you are seen to know faithful Light is all you’ll ever need. -Morgan Harper Nichols #30daysofstoryletters

[mental-health-advice]

Tag as peacock. Sometimes when I watch films, read or listen to other people's problems I feel like mine are not as important. I feel like I need to just suck it up and deal, but I cant? I can't get out of bed most days. Only leave my home about two times a month. I am afraid. I need help i think, but when I hear about others I feel that I dont? Everytime I seek help I feel okay. I am confused and don't know what to do. Maybe everybody experiences what I do?

Hey there, peacock! I hope that you are having a wonderful day. Take thechance to go outside today. It will make you feel better and the fresh air isgood for you. Thanks for sending in this ask. I’m sorry that you feel that youare not as important as other people. There are still coping methods for you. Iwill help you out the best that I can.

I believe that you are just as important as anybody else. Don’t letanybody or yourself tell you otherwise. Sometimes it can seem like we are notas important as others because maybe they are going through something thatseems more important but the truth is that we are all equally important. Justbecause others need help doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get help too.

There are ways to feel better about yourself. Something I suggest isdoing an activity that makes you feel like you have made an accomplishment. Tryto clean your room or desk, exercise, or eat healthy. You will feel like youmade the right choice. You will feel good about yourself because you have donesomething right.

Try to appreciate the things that you have also. Look in the mirror andappreciate the features that you have. Maybe you have really pretty eyes ornice hair. Just take a moment to acknowledge those features. Also think of the familyand friends that you have. They are important to you and you are important tothem.

I know that you can get throughthis! Remember that we have a live chat service that is available to everyone.You can send in a request or see if an admin has posted that they are online.If you feel like you are in immediate danger please go to the hospital. I wantyou to be safe.

I wish you luck!

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-Rachel

“The sun will rise and we will tryagain.”

[muskeww]

I would’ve texted you again, but you seemed so comfortable without me that I started feeling foolish for believing my presence mattered.