Title: Catch Your Tears, Quench Your Fears
Summary: Something gripped her shoulder, stopping her from falling, at the same time a warm hand covered her mouth, stopping her from yelling. "It's just me." Inky knew. She knew those hands, and she knew that voice—had known from the first word that it was Thancred. [...] They weren't alone.
Warnings: spoilers through the Endwalker quest "No Good Deed," mentions of canon-typical violence, hostage situation
Notes: While trying to figure out if Inky gets two boyfriends or zero boyfriends, this was one of those pivotal scenes where I felt that if it plays out significantly differently from how I felt it the first time, it would not be worth the character drama of breaking the ot3 up. Unfortunately for them, this scene works just as well as long as Inky and Thancred's relationship is in limbo (but they obviously care for each other anyway). A couple pieces of dialogue are altered slightly from the game script because the Japanese dialogue gut punched me and I wasn't going to let that go un-read. Title is from "Flow" from this game.
"Wait here while I go see how Alisaie and Alphinaud are faring," said Jullus. He rubbed his hands together and exhaled into his gloves for whatever little bit of warmth it would offer.
Take my bow, Inky wanted to say. He was so tense—drawn tighter than Inky's bowstring, honestly, as he tried to pretend he wasn't freezing. The plume of Suzaku fused into the wood of her weapon by one of her friends meant that it radiated a constant, gentle warmth. Inky knew it would help to hold it for a while, even if Jullus wasn't an archer.
But before Inky could form the words, the vision of Licinia and her sister cradled in bloody snow froze her breath in her lungs. And Jullus was already turning his back to walk away.
Inky took a deep breath, screwing up her face in concentration. Maybe there was more ceruleum nearby? Or maybe some food that hadn't been scavenged yet in these buildings. Inky was much smaller than a Garlean, after all, so if there were collapses or hidey-holes…
But if Jullus returned and couldn't find her... If he thought she had run off… If he activated those stupid, awful magitek things on Alphinaud or Alisaie…
Inky had, a few times, felt lightning burn its way through her skin and squeeze every single nerve until it hurt, shaking her like a storm until her heart forgot its rhythm. Mostly Ramuh's fault. Sometimes magitek. She wasn't sure if the collars would be as awful as a lightning primordial, but there was no way, absolutely no way, she was going to risk finding out.
With a deep sigh, Inky walked over to a wall nearby. It was low, designed that way rather than ruined. Easy enough to climb onto. Inky wondered what it used to protect, but the thought petered out with worry for her friends. Jullus hadn't minded Alisaie's magic, so they wouldn't freeze, but there were still warmachina and tempered everywhere.
"Finally escaped the watchful gaze of your keepers, have we?"
Inky gasped, flinching so hard she nearly slipped from the frozen stone. "Don't react—" Something gripped her shoulder, stopping her from falling, at the same time a warm hand covered her mouth, stopping her from yelling.
"It's just me." Inky knew. She knew those hands, and she knew that voice—had known from the first word that it was Thancred. Despite Jullus's threats, he'd followed them! And he'd done it so carefully and so well that even the paranoid Garleans hadn't realized it, which meant…
They weren't alone. She and Alisaie and Alphinaud weren't alone. They had a lifeline back to the rest of their friends. The sprawling city ruins before her blurred into melty grey-white shapes as her eyes filled with tears, and even with the hand covering her mouth, for the first time in hours, Inky could breathe.
"Carry on as you are and listen." Inky relaxed. Her tears ran freely, caught by Thancred's thumb and index finger instead of her cheeks. The hand on her shoulder flexed slightly. Discomfort? Acknowledgement? "After you left with the Garlean lad, Lucia bade a few of us scouts follow you at a discreet distance." His words were soft and low beside her left ear, even as Inky tried to catch her breath and not sob, because she wouldn't be able to explain why if Jullus came back like this. "We observed you being led into the station, but decided against venturing inside. When you emerged some time later, and we saw that the twins were sporting magitek collars, it was clear what had taken place."
Inky realized two things as Thancred spoke. One, other than where he was touching her, she couldn't feel him at all. He wasn't close enough to her ear for her to feel his breath, and however he cloaked himself, Inky couldn't even sense a drop of his aether. It was…crazy, in a good way. In a seriously impressive way. Beneath all the worry and the fear for her friends and the cold and the stress, a little part of Inky couldn't help acknowledging, even now, that it was heart-flutteringly amazing, how good Thancred was at his job.
And two, more important, was that she was breathing easier. There were still tears in her eyes, but Thancred's quiet report-voice was steady and familiar and had gently led her back from the edge of what Inky now realized was a cliff in her heart.
"Now, as quietly as you can, tell me everything," Thancred murmured. His hand moved away from her mouth, and Inky braced herself for him to let go of her shoulder. Things were awkward enough as it was.
He didn't.
She took a slow, soft breath of the cold, ceruleum-tinged air. "I was so scared," she whispered, but her voice cracked anyway. "It's because of me. Alphinaud and Alisaie have those collars because the Garleans are afraid of me," she said.
"Blaming yourself won't help them," Thancred said pointedly. "I'll argue with you about it later, if that will make you feel better." Inky bit her tongue trying not to laugh. Instead, another wave of tears rolled down her cheeks, these ones evaporating as they fell into her lap, near Suzaku's bow. Thancred squeezed her shoulder a little tighter, and his first two fingers tapped her gently, one after the other, like a heartbeat. "Intel, Inky. How many people are in that station? Who's in charge? What's their situation?"
Right. She ran through her memories, briefly, Most of the people in Tertium hadn't given her names, but she'd counted Jullus, Quintus, nine soldiers, the injured man who swore vengeance on her, the woman whose squad died at the Praetorium, the man interested in the aetheryte, the man hiding by the boxes, the woman Alphinaud tried to help, the man Alisaie tried to help, the father and daughter in the metal car, the man whose wounds she'd bandaged, four more unconscious people, and the woman in the entrance to the station. So that would make…
"At least 24 people," Inky said, "maybe more. They have these metal machina things in the station that I think are trains, but I've never seen anything like them, and I couldn't go inside them all."
"The tracks above ground aren't in use. Are they moving underground?" asked Thancred.
Inky started to shake her head, but she was held still by pressure on back of her neck. Painless, but there. "Don't," he said, soft but sharp, before he let go. "If that boy comes back, he'll see you moving before he hears you talking. Keep your voice down and answer out loud."
His other hand was still on her shoulder. With how long they'd been outside, Thancred's fingers had to be cold, but Inky would swear she felt just as warm from that shoulder as from her bow resting in her lap.
"Right. Um. They have gates up blocking the tunnels…and the people don't even have enough ceruleum to keep warm, so there's probably not enough to power anything big, either," said Inky. She looked out into the city, still blurry and sparkly at the edges from her tears. Somewhere, the rattling of machina moving through scrap echoed louder for a moment. "They're starving, and more than half of them are injured. Alphinaud doesn't think some of them will make it through the night without heat."
What else did Thancred ask? Oh. "The one in charge, he's a legatus called Quintus. Of the Ist."
"The legatus himself, eh?" Thancred said. Inky could draw the shape of his grim smirk in her mind perfectly. "Now there's a surprise."
"Jullus really believes in him. He says they're expecting reinforcements," Inky said.
"They say who?"
"I can't remember," Inky said. Honestly, Jullus might have dropped a name or a number, but Inky had been entirely focused on not giving anyone an excuse to hurt Alphinaud or Alisaie. "But he said something about trying to take back the palace."
Thancred hummed. Inky imagined him raising his eyebrows. "An interesting development…and perhaps the opportunity we've been waiting for," he said. "Our comrades back at the camp also received some rather promising news, but it's still too early to get our hopes up."
"That won't stop me," Inky said. "Especially now I know you're here."
She swallowed hard as soon as the words left her lips, wondering if it was too much. She and Thancred weren't…fighting, and they were still friends, but Inky knew that she expressed affection a lot more openly than Thancred did. So even if all she meant just now was to let him know how relieved she was that someone knew what was happening to them, that they weren't all on their own, maybe it was too much.
Nothing moved except the bitter wind and the falling snow. Inky kicked the wall with her heel, summoning up an apology.
"For now," Thancred said, close enough for the first time that Inky could feel the warmth of his breath against the back of her ear, "keeping yourselves out of harm's way comes before all else. Whatever demands the Garleans make, indulge them." He didn't say please, but Inky couldn't shake the feeling that he meant it anyway. An ache panged inside her heart, and fresh tears brimmed over, this time carried off into a sudden freezing gust.
As the wind died down, Inky suddenly heard footsteps, and she looked up to see Jullus rounding the corner again, followed by (thank the Twelve) Alphinaud and Alisaie, uninjured.
Thancred's voice came again, even softer. "With luck, this will all be over quickly. I'll see you soon." His voice shaped the last words so carefully that Inky could clearly see him smiling, even if it was strained, in her mind's eye. With one last squeeze, Thancred let go. His presence was completely swallowed by the wind and the groaning of a city still full of people who could never go home.
But Inky could trust that when he said he would see her again soon, he meant it. She reached up to dry her eyes as the others approached.
"They had not gone far—" Jullus started, but he clearly noticed she'd been crying. "You…"
"Inky?" Alphinaud asked, stepping towards her.
Inky wasn't a great liar. But she couldn't give Thancred away. He was their link back to their friends, and if Jullus found out, Alphinaud and Alisaie...
"The city sounds wrong," she said, curling her fingers around her soul crystal where it was pinned to her coat. "It's too quiet. I just…"
Alphinaud's eyes went soft with sympathy. He looked up at Jullus to explain. "The crystal Inky bears allows her to access the echoes that certain events leave behind in the aether. Sometimes, when we travel to places that have experienced a great disruption, the emotions are overwhelming. Places such as Carteneau, for example, where many lost their lives."
"You speak to the dead?" Jullus asked skeptically.
Inky shook her head. "No, no," she said. "I just…feel things. Sometimes I hear music." Jullus stared at her like she had three heads and a tutu made of cactuar spines. "Places like cities sound like a dozen-hundred-maybe-thousand songs weaving together. But the only people alive here are the tempered, and they all sound the same. Loud, but empty. Sometimes, it almost sounds like that song from your radios, but then it's gone."
"Radios…? Maybe there's just some left on in these houses," said Jullus. He shook his head. "I thought they'd been picked clean. Speaking of…"
Alisaie shrugged. "We searched high and low, but no luck, I'm afraid. I might've guessed you'd be the only one to find anything," she said, casting an annoyed look down her nose at Inky that quickly melted into a smile. Inky smiled back, but it only made her breath hitch again.
"I wasn't expecting much to begin with. Eventually, there will be nothing left out here for us to safely salvage. For now, this will have to suffice," said Jullus.
Inky hopped down from the wall and slipped in between the twins, reaching up to squeeze their hands. Alisaie gasped when they touched. "You're warm!" She felt Alphinaud holding on, too, despite the fact that Jullus was watching, which told her exactly how cold he was.
"That bow of yours?" Jullus asked, making a face like he'd just drunk oversteeped tea.
"You can take it for a while, if you want," Inky offered.
"No," said Jullus. His gaze dropped to his feet like a bird shot out of the sky. "We should return to the station." When he looked up again, his eyes snagged on Inky's hand where she held on to Alisaie's. His own fingers curled into shaking fists, and he turned away. "The champion of Eorzea cries and clings like a child. Who would have thought."
Alisaie scoffed. Alphinaud huffed. Inky smiled, but sadly. Jullus had mentioned a brother and sister, after all, who probably clung to him the same way, before they were lost in this chaos. He wasn't really a bad guy, she thought. Just…jealous, and scared, and heartbroken.
"Come on," said Alphinaud, gently tugging Inky along before letting go. "Warmth will do us more good when we're out of this wind."
"Yes, yes," said Alisaie, falling into step beside Inky, but always keeping an eye on her brother.
Inky caught herself a few times, listening for a fifth set of footsteps. Nothing, of course. Thancred was either too far back, or just too sneaky, or maybe he'd gone to meet Lucia and the others and fill them in… But he was looking out for them, and he promised to see them soon, and Inky believed him—believed in them—with her whole heart.
(Except, maybe, the bit about luck. It wasn't luck that would bring them home safe. It was skill, and cleverness, and love despite the risk.)
Jullus shouting "Victoria aut mors!" ("Victory or death!") or "Aut vincere aut mori!" ("Either to conquer or to die!") as he leads the Garleans' charge to protect the refugees from the Blasphemies in Endwalker.
