#fic yaps

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if i wrote a fic about vanessa murdering an abusive father as a surrogate for murdering william would i be killed do we think

[ame-kumo-art]

More Estrellia rambles actually,,,

It's an AU set in a fantasy world with magic and dragons \nwn/✨

I tried to include every character (except for the new group, this AU was created before they existed), so everyone has a role to play. Actually, some of the characters are dragons themselves :3

There's also fairies and other magical creatures!

There's quite a bunch of places to live already:

Estrellia - ruled by Eichi, who defeated the dragons attacking the kingdom and killing the previous king. You are appointed princess of Estrellia, even though you don't have any connection to Eichi other than that title. Esu is also appointed prince. Yuzuru and Tori followed Eichi and became royalty when Eichi was crowned king, while Wataru prefers to wander about. Ryuseitai act as knights.

Solani - A magical forest bordering Estrellia. It houses mostly magical creatures, but also an elusive redhead magician and his trusty fairy friend Sora.

Vierklee - A kingdom ruled by Hokuto, with the rest of Trickstar being royals and close friends. Alkaloid are a group of magicians and Knights are, well, knights lol

Dragon hunter guild - Dragons and humans have a bad history, which is why there are adventurers trained specifically to defeat dragons. They mostly take care of unrelated quests and stand guard just in case. Undead, Shu and Madara are veterans, while Mika, Nazuna and Ibuki are trainees. CrazyB are technically long standing members of the guild, but never passed the test to become official dragon hunters.

Dragon lair - (Still need a proper name for that place) The land where dragons live. It's high up in the mountains and no human would ever get close to it. Akatsuki, Ra*bits (except Nazuna), Kaname, Yume and Kanna are dragons and live there.

Wandering - These people do not have a set home and are always on the roads. Wataru travels as a wandering magician, Jun and Ibara are mercenaries and Nagisa and Hiyori happen to join them on their travels. (Ignore Nice I did not write him anything yet)

I also have a half assed magic system that explains how dragon magic and humans magic are the same but different... and some basic lore that mainly centers around Estrellia, or course :3

The goal here is to actually write this entire thing into a fic one day, but knowing me it'll probably grow through posts like these more...

[noxiisms]

The Nutcracker: A Hangster Yapfest.

I’d like to thank [ This ] for what you’re about to read.

Seeing as I won’t have any time to write some 12k long christmas one shot for everyone, please accept this in spirit of the season. (The irony here that this is like 3.4k will be ignored.)

Considering I just spent the last two months working on a HALLOWEEN fic.

Before I was a writer, I was a ballerina. I danced 45 hours a week at a pre-professional ballet studio.

Did it all.

I was in A midsummer nights dream, Don Quixote, Coppelia even.

Never did Swan lake…circumstances.

However, the seasonally appropriate ballet of the hour?

The nutcracker.

Walk with me here;

Your favorite aviators aren’t aviators anymore, or ever. Rather professional dancers.

Fortunately, company is overrun with men.

How lucky you are San Diego ballet to have such Principal dancers like Bradley Bradshaw and Jake Seresin.

Obviously, Most of their adults are party guests in some way. Whether it’s a Party parent or perhaps one of the maids.

Unless you’re… Bradley, Natasha or in this case, Javy.

See, those three got assigned the role of Party dolls. Which, should be all fine and Dandy, Bradley doesn’t mind a “watch from the wings most of act one, get shoved in a box, do my variation, applaud and leave to go get ready for his next piece.”

However, Fate would have it that the assisting party adult who aided in pulling him from his wooden gift box on wheels just so happens to be…

Jake Seresin.

Fellow Principal dancer and Ex boyfriend.

God he should have listened when Natasha said don’t date in the company.

But did he? No.

And it’d resulted in a very, VERY uncomfortable run of Firebird.

And now, he was spending hours and hours in Party scene rehearsals…dancing incredibly close to his now ex.

Now, he was catching that satisfied smirk in the mirrors reflection when he’d get a correction from Tom or Leonard.

Just because he missed that one triple tour en l’air that one time, does not give Jake the right to wear that stupid shit eating grin.

But whatever.

Fine.

And if things weren’t bad enough, come battle scene?

Bradley is stuck answering to Jake.

Had to be intentional.

Making him one of the Rats and Jake the Rat king.

Insulting.

Terribly, horribly insulting.

He should be the one waiting in the wings playing “Lil’ mouse wrangler” not Robert in his stupid cavalier costume for Callie’s Snow Queen.

Jerk.

But fine. Whatever. Fine.

Just means it’s his turn to snick and sneer when Jake gets the same correction on his turnout during battle scene for the eighth time in one rehearsal.

Which shouldn’t be the case because Jake has good turn out AND he’s done Rat king before…

Hm. Must just be slacking then.

But Jake… Like the Rat king himself, doesn’t go down without a fight.

And more times than Bradley cares to acknowledge has Jake intentionally stepped on Bradley’s rehearsal tail, gotten in his way and even whacked him with the foam practice sword a few times right in the face.

Always with a completely insincere “Oh! Yikes! Sorry Bradshaw! My bad…”

He wasn’t sorry though. Jerk.

But, was he really a jerk? Especially when coming back from Thanksgiving break was usually when Tom brought the “heads” in.

That was when the Rats needed to get used to wearing the vision stealing foam heads… and the Rat King needed to show the Lil’ Mice it was still just Mr.Jake in a silly head.

Bradley would stand off to the side, trying to act far more interested in the wall or something else.

Maybe the water bottle in his hands, but he couldn’t help listening as Jake would kneel down, holding the giant foam Rat king head under his arm and explain to those cute lil’ 4,5 and 6 year olds.

“It’s just pretend kiddos. Promise you. I know he’s got kinda a mean face goin’ on,” and Jake would lift the head so they could see.

Some would giggle, some would shy away.

But he was patient.

“Yeah, it’s just pretend. Promise. It’s still me under there, just wearin’ a mask…like ya do on halloween right? And just like all the big rats, it’s just us dressin’ up for the story. See? Mr.Jake—“ and then he’d slide the head on, his voice muffled by the Rat kings…well, head.

“Rat king. I’m the same guy! Promise!”

And He’d pull the head off and for some reason, Bradley’s mind would play it in slow mo. Like— like those movie scenes where the biker takes off his helmet or something and shakes his hair out while Careless whisper or something adjacent played?

It was like that except…Jake and a giant rat king head.

God.

Why was he so good with kids and so… not… good with him?

That wasn’t fair.

Nothing about this was fair.

But— that wasn’t where Bradley’s misery ended.

Oh no, because instead of getting partnered with Natasha for Hot chocolate or getting put in Coffee or, hell even Marzipan?

Jake gets the “blessing” of Candy canes…

Lead Candy Cane. Which should have been something worth celebrating except—

He’s now Lead candy cane.

With Jake Seresin.

He’s now, going to be stuck in yet ANOTHER rehearsal with his ex-boyfriend.

Not to mention, the way the dance is choreographed? The two lead Candy Canes spend the whole dance trying to one up each other.

And Bradley knows this.

He knows because he remembered being in Coffee the year prior and during full act two days, he’d remember hearing Tom yelling over the music searching for “More competition! Rivalry! Which one of you can jump higher?! Show the back of the auditorium you are rivals!”

He’d been out of breath and downing water when he’d heard it, but he’d heard it nonetheless.

But now it’s his reality.

And truly, of all the dances he’s stuck doing with Jake this year, Candy canes is the worst.

It’s not only physically demanding but if Bradley dares perform at anything less than 150%, Jake’ll sneer and insist “so what? Can’t keep up? Hm. Figures.”

and Bradley will have to resist the urge to break his arms.

As if things wouldn’t and couldn’t get worse, it’s just them.

Natasha isn’t even in Candy Cane ensemble or anything. Nope, she’s in Hot chocolate as the lead and later flowers.

Callie isn’t anywhere to be seen either as she’s got Marzipan with Reuben.

And sure enough, during those early rehearsals when Tom’s talking them through what he’s searching for, he says it:

“If there can only be one, You two should be fighting for it; tooth and nail, neck and neck. As if this is your only opportunity to determine who the superior is, you know what I mean? Of course, it’s all merely acting, but— I want to see it in the attitude, in the way you two land your jumps.”

Oh if only he knew.

If only Tom knew it wasn’t acting, it was real.

Every dirty look. Every turn, every leap.

Was just a tense back and forth of:

“I’m better than you.” “No you’re not.”

“I don’t need you,” “Neither do I.”

The tension is rising, It’s on the very verge of boiling over and it seems most of their fellow cast mates can tell.

It’s their first show, Bradley’s standing there in the wings, eyes pinned on Jake as he moves along the stage as a party adult.

She bumps his hip, “Dude…what is up with you two?” Natasha whispers, her arms folded over her own checkerboard tutu.

Bradley doesn’t look away, he just glares harder, if that’s even possible.

“Nothing Nat.”

“Is this about the break up during Firebird last year?”

But before Bradley can answer, they’re being ushered into their gift boxes.

No. It’s not about that.

Not at all.

Not like Bradley went on stage during act one with a boyfriend and started act two single.

That didn’t happen at all.

Except it did.

And in the darkness of that gift box, he’s replaying it all.

How during intermission they’d started fighting. Why?

God, it’d been over…seemingly nothing.

He’d been the one to even start the fight, kept it going and backed Jake into the corner.

He’d been the one to pull the plug on the relationship, not Jake.

But there was no time to really dwell on that, not when he had a party doll variation to perform in the next 15 seconds.

Stage lights burning, Bradley let the thought go.

Though when the Chill of the wings came back, his mind slipped back to that summer. How just a few months ago he had a boyfriend who he loved… or so he thought.

How cursed the rest of fire bird felt because of the break up.

But whatever. Couldn’t dwell. Had to focus on being a Rat.

But…maybe during snow he’d be able to…talk to Jake?

Or at least hint at something.

So, just as choreographed, Bradley goes out on that stage in that head to toe rat costume and “fights” like his little rodent life depends on it.

Except when he’s watching through the mouth of his rat head, watching Jake command that stage with dramatic flamboyance and flair as a giant rodent king.

It wasn’t that the sight of a giant rat throwing a tantrum got him going, no, it was just…how good of an actor he was, Bradley rationed.

Because Jake was smooth and flirtatious, an ass yeah…the opposite really.

Also his ability to somehow pull off multiple barrel turns in a giant rat head was really impressive and Bradley couldn’t deny his talent…

It was after the Rat king was defeated though, when he was dragging Jake off the stage with Javy by the ankle that something really started buzzing.

Especially when Javy helped him pull Jake into the wings only to turn and through the muffled heads ask if Bradley could get him up.

Not thinking, Bradley nodded and Poof— Javy was gone.

Bradley turned back to Jake and with his heart racing, let go of Jake’s ankle, his hand still outstretched and Jake?

He took it.

Finding Jake’s hand again after so long was…peculiar yet comfortable.

His grip tightened into a borderline death squeeze and Bradley helped pull Jake to his feet.

Before leaving the darkness of the wings, Jake reached for his head, “Thanks Javy,” he whispered, nudging his shoulder and hurrying off.

Leaving Bradley there to Gawk like a fool.

He turned, watching him disappear backstage, only to rip his own Rat head off and follow.

“Jake— wait!”

But Bradley went unheard.

No biggie. He’d catch him in the dressing room right?

Yeah.

Not wanting to make things weird, he decided to wait till they’d both ditched the rat armor in favor of the red and white costumes.

It was when Jake sat down to switch from his Black Jazz shoes to the white ballet shoes they both wore for Candy Canes he caught him.

“Hey,” Bradley began cautiously.

Jake froze only to look up, “What? Did I step on your tail in battle again?”

Bradley shook his head no, hesitant now.

God he had his guard up exorbitantly high.

“No…not at all just uh, That wasn’t Javy who helped you up in the wings…”

Jake’s expression shifted, his brows furrowed, “Was it Mickey? Looked too tall to be Mickey but—“

God.

Bradley shook his head, “No wasn’t Mickey— He’s— Jake he was behind you dramatically fake wailing but— No that was me…”

Jake stared at Bradley for a second, those green-blue eyes he’d come to adore narrowing in on him.

“So what? You want a thank you? Thanks for helping me up…?”

“What? No! I—“ Bradley inhaled a breath, “I wanted to…ask if maybe between shows we could…y’know, talk or something?”

He saw it. Jake’s entire body stiffen up, his sour expression slipping into one of mild confusion.

“You— But why?”

“I’ve got somethings I wanna talk about but I don’t— I don’t wanna do it here, when at any given moment Robert or Mickey or Reuben could come waltzing in,” Bradley explained, gesturing to the space around them.

Jake didn’t reply immediately, rather he swallowed and weighed his options, or so Bradley thought anyway.

“Okay.”

That was it. Jake stood up, brushed past him and headed back out of the dressing room to prepare for Act twos entrance.

Well.

That—….was a thing, that was happening.

He followed though, this time however, Bradley found Natasha instead.

All wrapped up in deep browns and just the faintest hint of white to perhaps represent the Marshmallows floating around in hot chocolate.

“You never answered me Bradshaw,” she commented, thwacking him on the arm with her black lace fan.

“Ow,” Bradley instinctively snarked, rubbing at the spot on his arm she’d whacked him.

“Don’t worry about it…we…we sorted things out.”

Natasha whacked him again.

“No! No….did you two talk? are you back together?”

Bradley reached for that same spot she’d hit twice now.

“Okay, number one, no and no and please stop hitting me with that. Tom giving you a fan was a mistake.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes.

“Annnddd…?”

Bradley tried to hold out, but she was already raising the fan for the third time in preparation to whack him.

“BUT— we are talking after the show.”

Natasha’s entire face lit up, lips curling into a grin.

“That’s more like it! Lemme know how it goes!”

But before Bradley can sputter anything else out, lights are down again, places are called and Natasha has disappeared behind the curtain to get to the other side for the stage for her hot chocolate entrance.

Variations come and go, and as Tea is leaving the stage and Bradley is gearing up to enter, he sees him across the stage.

and Jake? He squares his shoulders and for the first time? It’s not a shit eating grin, it’s a genuine smile.

This time, when the two step on stage for their variation, it’s different. Good, but different.

The tension isn’t as high, the rivalry is performed not enacted.

And it’s good.

His jumps for some reason feel higher and he landed that triple pirouette cleaner than ever before.

When the two get off stage, panting and soaked with sweat, Jakes the first to speak this time.

“Good job,” he whispers.

Bradley doesn’t know why, but it heats his cheeks in a way the stage lights don’t.

“Thanks…” he responds through a deep breath, finding a spare, unopened water bottle and popping the plastic cap off.

The back half of act two flys by and before Bradley knows it, he’s back on stage for the coda with Jake and everyone else. Second row, Jakes right there beside him on his right and Natasha on his left.

The final pose is struck and as they’re supposed to begin backing out slowly, Bradley takes notice that Jake is backing away faster than he’s supposed to.

He isn’t sure why he noticed this time, but he did.

And when he realizes why?

It comes like second nature.

You see, The ballet year falls odd.

Firebird was done in the summer and they’d only been broken up during a short off period.

They’d never spent a nutcracker broken up.

There were productions of this show before they were together, but never a nutcracker they weren’t close.

And like second nature, Bradley found him in the wings, in the corner with two other backstage attendants.

Candy cane pieces flying off in favor of Rat king.

Jake, when cast as the Rat king always brought him back out for bows.

Always.

It was a miserable quick change and one Bradley always dropped to the floor to help with pants, socks and shoes.

Even though he was out of breath and hadn’t helped during dress rehearsal, he’d found the corner and immediately fell in line.

he’d bunched up Jake’s Rat king pants, guiding his legs into them, only to pull off his white shoes and slide the grey socks over, the repetitive commands following “left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot.” as he dressed Jake.

And right as Bradley stands back up, it happens.

Instinct maybe, an overwhelming drive or perhaps Natasha who, may I just mention is currently on stage bowing for Spanish with Robert cast some kind of love spell with her lace fan.

His lips found Jake’s in a quick peck. Routine. Something they’d done right before Jake slipped the head back on.

It was so habitual, Bradley hadn’t even realized he’d done it until Jake scoffed.

“Well damn Bradshaw…okay then—“

Then and only then did Bradley realize.

Though before he could sputter an apology, Logan had ahold of him as Candy canes came right after Tea to bow and seeing as the other lead was now a rat, it was on Bradley to represent.

He face flushed red with embarrassment, Bradley stepped back out onto that stage, trying not to fixate too much on what’d just happened back there.

He bowed, the audience applauded politely and he stepped back into the act two line.

Then came Marzipan, Mother ginger and the snaps, flowers, and then?

The big ticket roles.

Drosselmeyer. Fritz. The Sugar plum Cavalier. Though the big three hadn’t entered it was time.

Jake came bounding out onto that stage with a thunderous and explosive leap, bowing dramatically in the giant rat costume and for some reason— the auditorium exploded as he raised his fist dramatically before whipping around and finding his place in line with the other key characters.

Yeah. Jake deserved that.

The Prince and Clara appeared and finally the Sugar plum fairy.

A few more bows before the curtain fell…and moments later? dismissal.

God. He was in for it now.

Lost in the sea of other dismissed students, Bradley slipped back into their dressing room, shedding his candy cane costume in favor of some sweats— as there happened to be roughly three hours between shows.

And while slipping his feet into his red dance booties, Javy made his way over.

“Jake wants to talk to you out back.”

Oh.

Yeah… that.

Bradley nodded, “Yeah. Kay, I’ll— go talk to him.”

Fuck.

His heart thundered. His breath uneven as he left behind the familiarity of the dressing room in favor of the back of the auditorium.

There he stood, bottom of the stairs, already settled in his own set of warm ups.

“Hey…” Bradley muttered, beginning down the stairs to meet him at the bottom even though Jake had other plans.

Jake turned and started up those same stairs, meeting him half way.

It was instantaneous.

Their lips met in a way that made that quick backstage peck feel meaningless.

This kiss was met with yearning and need; to refill a craving and a need that’s been depleting since summer.

It was hungry and desperate and everything Bradley didn’t know he needed.

When Jake did finally pull back, he froze.

“Sorry…you uh— wanted to talk, not make out.”

Bradley scoffed.

“We can talk later, how about you shut up and kiss me again?”

“I can do that… Doll face,” Jake teased with a snicker only to be forcefully grabbed by his jacket and pulled into Bradley once more.

Safe to say though, Bradley strutted back in that auditorium like a peacock with golden feathers.

And when he caught Natasha in the wings for second show?

He nudged her hip this time.

“For your information Nat, I’ve got a boyfriend again.”

Wow.

That— didn’t actually end up where I intended it to. Also this ended up WAY longer than anticipated and much more fic like than expected lol.

But, I hope my three hours of writing and yapping on this brought you some warm and fuzzies.

I miss doing the nutcracker so much every year.

Alas. I project onto fictional characterss.

Feel free to add onto this if you feel inspired or inclined.

Whether with other concepts or what actually went down at firebird.

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate and Happy Wednesday/ Thursday to those who don’t!

— Nox! 🦨 🎄

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You know you're doing something right when you're writing if you're both tearing up and moderately aroused at the same time

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i have a train to london to catch tomorrow and i still havent packed and im writing five nights at freddys fanfiction. :).

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I am writing a serious piece of fan literature.

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it takes these cunts This Long to get out of the trauma closet. at this point call them repression.