Steve Harrington was trying to be a better person, but one night in late August, despite his best efforts, he had a truly selfish thought. He wished Robin wasn't dating Vickie. He hated himself for even entertaining the idea. Robin deserved to be with someone who loved her. She was amazing. She was smart, funny, and a little bit of a weirdo– which Steve had learnt was his type.
He wasn't jealous of Vickie. Not in the way you'd think. He was over being in love with Robin, but he missed having his best friend around. For so long, he and Robin had been joined at the hip. Now Robin had Vickie, which meant he saw less and less of her.
Whenever he tried to strike up a conversation with Nancy, she'd look at him like he'd sprouted a third head. Maybe she thought he was flirting, which wasn't ideal. Talking to Jonathan was a nonstarter because he thought Steve was still trying to get together with Nancy.
Then there was Dustin. Before, when he'd had no one else, he'd had Dustin to talk to. Was it depressing that one of his best friends was several years his junior? Yes, but Steve would take what he could get. The problem was that Dustin had changed since Eddie's death. Most days, he wouldn't look at Steve, let alone talk to him. Which meant, once again, Steve Harrington was alone.
When the silence of his empty house grew too loud, Steve would drive around town. The quarantine zone was one of the many prisons his life held. In years past, he could've hit the road until he reached Indianapolis, but now he looped around the town's perimeter until his fuel light blinked or the night faded into morning.
He was so damn lonely. There was also the matter of going crazy.
Steve was hearing voices on the radio. More specifically, one voice on the radio, Eddie Munson's. The first time it happened, he and Dustin had been in the WSQK van, on a crawl, slowly following Hopper's trail in the Upside Down, topside. Amongst Hopper's garbled voice and static, another sound rose from the din.
"Hello? Anyone?" The voice– Eddie's voice, sounded hoarse, as though he'd been calling out for some time.
Naturally, Steve looked to Henderson, expecting to see the kid as frantic as he felt, but he wore his usual bored and despondent look as he mindlessly turned the knobs and dials.
"Henderson, you hear that?"
This was it. The moment Steve finally lost his mind. With all the shit he'd seen, he supposed it was about time.
"Hopper trying to get through on the walkie? Yes, Steve. I do, and I'd be able to pick up the signal better if you'd speed up a little."
"Yeah, but what about...?" Steve let his thought fade. He was tired. He hadn't been sleeping well. He was dreaming with his eyes open.
Only Steve kept hearing the voice. Not just on their crawls but on his late-night drives in the Beamer. The Squawk went off air after ten, which meant the station played nothing but static, and through that static, Steve started hearing Eddie. That night in August, Steve went crazy enough to start answering.
"Hello?" Eddie's voice croaked through the static. He sounded as tired as Steve felt.
"Anyone? Ground control to Major Tom? This is E.T. phoning home." Despite everything, Eddie could still joke.
Steve liked to think that, in another life, they could have been friends. Maybe that was why his sleep-addled brain had conjured up Eddie's voice from the ether.
"Hey... uh, Major Tom to ground control?" Steve spoke to the air as he took a tight turn down the end of a quiet neighbourhood.
In another life, Steve would like to live in a comfortably quiet home. His house screamed with the silence of abandonment, instead of sleeping with tranquillity. There was a difference between quiet and silence, not many people knew.
For a moment, there was nothing but static, but then it was shattered by what sounded like the gasp of a wounded animal.
"Steve? Thank, fucking Christ," Eddie's voice gasped.
"Munson? Is that really you?"
Steve had to jerk the wheel as he felt himself driving dangerously close to the curb. He pulled over, but left the car running.
"Live and in stereo. Jesus H. You don't know how happy I am to hear your voice."
Steve might be feeding his own delusions, but god, it felt good to be wanted, just once.
"I could say the same about you. Where are you?"
"I'm stuck in the damn Upside Down, man. Have been for... I don't know how long. I've been running around this goddamn hellscape, hiding from the demogorgons for... I don't know."
Steve leaned back against the headrest and let his eyes fall shut, trying to focus.
"Sixteen months, give or take," Steve breathed. God, he'd been gone so long. This couldn't be real. Eddie had died. Steve had watched him die.
"No... no that can't be right. It can't. It hasn't..." Eddie's voice trailed off, appearing confused.
"I'm sorry... Eddie– Eds, you died." Steve had hoped his sick mind would send him a friend, but instead it sent him a therapy session.
"I tried to save you, man. By the time I got there... there was so much blood–." Steve was glad he'd parked, because he could feel his hands begin to shake.
Watching someone die never leaves you. Steve could close his eyes, and he was back there. Part of him would always be there. He'd heard Dustin's wails of anguish before he'd seen the grusome scene. He knew something had gone terribly wrong.
He'd run until he felt as though his lungs would explode. He'd been so focused on Dustin at first, he hadn't noticed Eddie. He'd taken the boy's bloody face between his hands and tried to examine every inch of him to determine where the blood was coming from. Dustin pushed him away, sobbing Eddie's name. Eddie had been so still that Steve had thought he was already gone. However, he placed the back of his hand inches from Eddie's lips and felt small puffs of air.
The flesh at his sides had been torn beyond recognition, resembling minced meat, instead of flesh and bone. Steve had done his best to pack the wound. He'd been wrist deep inside Eddie's skin. He'd never forget the warm flow of blood around his fingers as he tried to feed Eddie's intestines back inside his body. He'd never un-hear the wet squelch of flesh on flesh. He'd tried his best to save Eddie. Logically, he knew that. But he never felt like he'd done enough.
He remembered struggling to hold Eddie in his arms, as they made for the gate out of The Upside Down. All the blood made him slippery. Steve had toppled over, desperately trying to cling to Eddie rather than letting him go. He'd skinned his knees, his hands and his chin. It'd taken Steve four tries to hoist Eddie up through the hole in the trailer roof, with Dustin hot on his heels.
By the time Eddie's body was in Hawkins, his eyes were glassy, and he'd stopped breathing. Even then, Steve had tried. He scraped together all the knowledge he'd gathered from his first job as a lifeguard during his sophomore year and beat down on Eddie's chest until his wrist ached and he was covered in sweat. Nothing brought him back, but god, he'd tried.
"I died," Eddie echoed at last. Steve thought he heard a hint of disbelief in his tone.
"But I'm... here," Eddie sounded as lost as Steve felt.
"I'm sorry," Steve breathed. Unsure what else he was supposed to say.
"Oh shit," Eddie's voice crackled through the static, sounding suddenly distant.
"Creepy demodogs are hot on my six, Steve. I've gotta move. Find me again. I don't know how you did it but–." The radio static swallowed Eddie's voice whole.
Once again, Steve was alone.
After being directionless for so long, Steve threw himself headlong into finding and contacting Eddie. Any spare moment was spent combing every inch of Hawkins, with the radio tuned to static if he was driving or his walkie-talkie fixed to his and Eddie's private channel if he was on foot.
He wasn't sure if he was going crazy, but the alternative was worse. If he wasn't crazy, that meant part of Eddie had survived, only to be trapped in an evil wizard's hell dimension. Steve Harrington wasn't in the business of leaving his people behind. He had to bring Eddie home.
In the weeks that followed, he and Eddie had come closer to understanding how to contact each other. Much like Hopper's walkie and the Squawk van, Eddie and Steve needed to be close to one another to talk. At first, that seemed to make matters simple. If Eddie camped out at Steve's house in The Upside Down and Steve turned on his walkie, they could talk for hours on end, which they did. However, the Upside Down was still crawling with demogorgons, meaning it wasn't safe to stay in one place too long, lest Eddie get cornered. Neither boy wanted to know what would happen if he died twice.
They organised nightly meet-ups across Hawkins, trying to keep Eddie on the move. All the while, Steve was trying to work out how to get back into the Upside Down to get Eddie out without the military or the other members of the party realising. He hadn't intended to keep Eddie's possible return from the dead from the others, but everything felt so complicated. There were too many variables, too many things to go wrong. Losing Eddie once had broken Dustin in ways Steve feared he would never mend from. He didn't dare think what would happen if they couldn't save Eddie a second time. To Steve's surprise, Eddie agreed. Neither boy would admit it, but they both knew how unlikely it was that they'd be able to get Eddie out.
"Where should we swing by tomorrow? I was thinking maybe we could hang out at Enzo's parking lot," Eddie's voice rose from the static.
It was mid-September, and the boys had grown close in such a short time. Steve had been surprised at how easy they had bonded in the days after Eddie was accused of murder. Eddie knew what he was going to say before Steve did, particularly regarding Dustin, and, much to Steve's surprise, he could read Eddie's moods without the man saying a word. It was a bond he'd shared with Robin, but that had taken months of working a minimum wage job together, coupled with being drugged and tortured, not to mention Robin coming out to him.
He and Eddie didn't have as much shared history. They hardly talked in high school. Steve didn't know how to explain it. He felt like a part of him had always known Eddie. Even when they had been strangers, Eddie had caught Steve's eye at his parties and across the cafeteria. His long hair, denim vest and ringed fingers always managed to snag Steve's attention, like a hangnail in a knitted sweater.
He thought, for a moment, of Robin's bathroom confession, how much she'd noticed about him, because of her crush on Tammy Thompson. Steve had always noticed Eddie, but not because he was popular with any of the girls he'd half-heartedly dated. Steve had spent a long time trying to unpack what all that meant for him.
After Eddie's death, he'd never admit how much he mourned what could have been. He felt like they were getting a second chance, and he wasn't about to let it go to waste. If it were anyone else, Steve would've worried he'd come on too strong, as was his habit, but to his surprise, for each part of himself he overshared, Eddie did so in kind.
Steve supposed it was bound to happen. Eddie had been alone for months. He needed someone. Steve had been lonely for... years, really. They both needed one another.
It was one of the lucky nights, they'd been able to meet at his home. His late nights and early mornings hunting for Eddie meant his sleep schedule was nonexistent, so getting to curl up in his bed with the walkie by his head as he talked to Eddie felt like a small luxury. He wondered if Eddie was in the same place in the Upside Down, curled up on top of the covers, in Steve's bed. The thought made him shiver. He was trying not to dwell on all the feelings Eddie spurred in him. It was too complex.
"You want to take me to Enzo's?" Steve mused, propping his arm behind his head.
"I figured you're a class act, Harrington. If we're going to meet in a parking lot under the cover of darkness, it might as well be one worthy of your standing," Eddie replied, making Steve roll his eyes.
"I've got another idea," Steve began.
"This morning, I drove close enough to the military base to pick up on their internal radio chatter. Turns out, they're doing a burn tomorrow night at the break near Forest Hills. The rest of the gang hasn't picked up on it yet. Thought we could try meeting up in your neck of the woods," Steve proposed.
"By my neck of the woods, you mean The Upside Down? Don't you think it's a little dangerous sneaking past the military on your own?" Eddie was hesitant, but he wasn't saying no.
"It's only dangerous if you get caught, and I know how to be sneaky," Steve argued and heard a faint snicker.
"Just because you say you'd make a good ninja dude, doesn't mean I believe you."
"I'm not hearing a no," Steve challenged.
"That's because, as dumb as your idea sounds... I really want to see someone that's not shaped like a hell-bat or a fly trap. You're playing on my weakness, Stevie," Eddie spoke. Steve felt a smile creep over his lips.
"So it's settled, I'll meet you there tomorrow night. If everything goes well, I might be able to get you topside by breakfast."
Steve knew he was being optimistic. When he had outlined the areas the military frequently burned to Eddie, the boy had tried to sneak past them and cross the barrier to Hawkins, but so far, he hadn't been successful. Something was keeping Eddie tethered there. They were entertaining a handful of theories, with no real evidence to support them.
"Okay, Stevie. Just be careful. If it's too dangerous, turn back. Don't play the hero," Eddie said, and it hurt to have his own words echoed back at him.
"I thought that was my job," Steve mumbled.
"No. Not today it's not. No more heroes," Eddie insisted.
"No more heroes," Steve echoed, gazing up at the ceiling, imagining Eddie beside him, doing the same.
"If we get you out of there, I'll actually take you to Enzo's... if you want," Steve whispered.
For a moment, he'd felt brave, but the second the words left his lips, he was terrified. Maybe he'd read Eddie all wrong.
He heard Eddie laugh. Which hurt more than it should.
"You know that's a date place, right? I know you're rich and all, but I couldn't imagine you and Tommy H swinging by for a candle-lit dinner after a basketball game."
"I know it's a date place," Steve tried again.
"That's why I asked you."
The silence that followed seemed to stretch out for a lifetime before Eddie uttered a quiet 'oh'.
"Yeah... Stevie. If everything goes as planned, I'll go to Enzo's with you."
Getting away from the radio station on time to meet Eddie was harder than Steve anticipated. He was halfway out the door when Robin called his name and jogged to catch up with him.
"Dingus. Vickie just called, and she's picking up a double shift at the hospital. Which means my Friday night is officially free. Want to have a movie night? Last week, Murray smuggled us some new tapes I've been dying to watch."
On any other night, Steve would've jumped at the opportunity to spend time with Robin, but not tonight. The only problem was, he hadn't had time to come up with a convincing lie.
"Ah, you see, I'd love to, but I've got... plans tonight," Steve tried. It was way too vague. Robin wouldn't buy it.
"I've got a date," Steve corrected.
"Since when do you not tell me about your dates? I could literally name every girl you've slept with... probably ever. Which is very gross, and slightly codependent– but not the point." Shit. Robin had a point.
"I forgot about it. No big deal. You just reminded me." Steve hated lying to Robin. He wasn't good at lying to Robin.
"No, you didn't. You've checked your watch five times in the last hour. That's only something you do when you know you've got to be somewhere," Robin argued.
Lie better, Harrington. Steve thought. He needed to meet up with Eddie. If he didn't do it that night, he had no idea when the next opportunity would present itself.
"It's with a guy," Steve blurted out.
It was uncomfortably close to the truth, and in retrospect, he was surprised he hadn't talked to Robin about his burgeoning sexuality crisis sooner. He hadn't wanted to. If he said it out loud, it would make it real.
Instead of saying anything in reply, Robin pulled him into a bone-crushing hug that knocked the air from his lungs. For a moment, he stiffened before sinking in. It'd been a long time since someone had held him. It was a shock to the system.
"I'm sorry,' She muttered against Steve's shoulder, surprising him. What did she have to feel sorry for?
"I shouldn't have pushed you. If you're not ready to come out, that's okay. This conversation never happened. Look, I've already forgotten about it. You can tell me again in a month or a year. Or never. Never is okay, too. A little unhealthy, but okay... You should talk to someone about it at some stage, though," Robin rambled, her words tumbled over one another, as they did when she was nervous.
"It's okay. I wanted to talk to you about it, I just..." Steve didn't know how to explain, but he didn't have to. Robin was nodding enthusiastically.
"It's hard to say it sometimes."
"I don't know if I've even said it to myself yet," Steve admitted.
Robin squeezed his shoulder hard before letting him go.
"It's okay. Sometimes it takes time. No rush," She assured before a dark look crossed her face.
"This guy, is he nice?" Steve wanted to laugh.
"No, Rob, he's an asshole. What do you think?" He placed a hand on his hip and cocked his brow.
"Honestly, Steve? With your track record with girls, I've got no idea. When it comes to your love life, you're Mr Self-Sabotage."
"He's nice," Steve said.
He wasn't sure if the general population of Hawkins would agree that Eddie 'The Freak' Munson was nice, but Hawkins didn't know Eddie. He collected lost and broken things. He made sure no one ever felt left out, no matter how strange they were. He opened doors for people. He made Steve feel like a person, for the first time in a long time.
"Do I know him?" Robin asked.
"Remember when you said I shouldn't out people?" Steve asked, side-stepping the question. Saying he was going on a date with a guy was one thing; dating long-dead Eddie Munson was something else entirely.
"Okay. Fine. You're right. But I'm here if you do need to talk about it," Robin promised, and Steve nodded, looking down at his watch. He was so late. He hoped they hadn't started the burn yet.
"Alright, Lover boy. I won't keep you any longer. Have a good date. I'll be expecting all the gory details tomorrow."
Steve snorted and waved her off.
Steve Harrington was reckless, but sometimes, being reckless paid off.
Steve tried to recall everything Hopper had told them about his previous crawls. He'd followed close to one of the military trucks, hitching a ride on the back when the coast was clear. Though if Hopper got caught, he had an arsenal of guns. All Steve had was a poorly fashioned nail bat, a flask of kerosene and a lighter.
As the terrain became marred with sparsely populated trees, Steve jumped and rolled for cover. From there, he waited for the military to leave, then set about trying to find Eddie. Unfortunately, something else found him first.
A demodog lurched from the shadows, knocking Steve from his feet. In a heartbeat, he scrambled upright, swinging the bat and landing a solid blow to the creature's side. He was winding up for a second hit when something encircled his wrist. He looked to see Eddie, stilling his hand and urging him with a violent tug to run. You didn't have to tell Steve twice.
The two boys ran side-by-side, keeping pace with each other's matching strides. It became a rhythm, the crunch of dirt underfoot at Steve's side and to his back. The demodog continued to pursue for several miles. They didn't stop until long after the creature had disappeared from view.
Finally, Eddie stopped running, and the boys doubled over, sucking gasping lungfuls of spore-filled air. Steve had hardly caught his breath when Eddie barrelled into him, knocking him off his feet and surprising him with a tight and desperate hug.
"God Stevie, you're a sight for sore eyes," Eddie mumbled, sounding far less winded than Steve felt. He wondered how much of Eddie's day was spent running from monsters.
Steve didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected to make it as far as he had. He hadn't expected Eddie to be real, not really. He'd never been good with his words. He wrapped his arms around Eddie and held him tightly, trying to erase the last memory of his glassy brown eyes, staring sightless at the stars, his bloodless body painted red.
Steve buried his face in Eddie's chest, never mind the dry gravel digging into his exposed flesh. His breathing was uneven. He was startlingly close to crying and Eddie seemed to notice.
"Hey, all that for little old me," He muttered, shifting, freeing a hand so he could angle Steve's face to meet his gaze.
"I missed you," Steve remarked.
If Eddie were a normal person, he might have said something like 'you don't know me, how could you miss me?' Good thing Eddie Munson was anything but a normal person.
"I missed you too," Eddie replied and gave Steve one more tight squeeze, looking for a moment like he couldn't believe it was something Steve was letting him do. Steve wanted him to do it again.
"As much as I'd like to stay here with you, if we don't get moving, something's bound to catch up with us. This area has been a hotbed for hell beasts lately."
The two broke apart and started to make their way towards the vine-like wall where Steve had entered. They jogged at a steady pace. Steve hoped the military was bound for their fortress in The Upside Down and wouldn't be coming back soon, but he could never be sure.
"I can't believe you actually made it," Eddie gasped as he ran, exhilarated by Steve's mere presence.
"I told you, Munson. Sneaky, like a ninja, and you doubted me," Steve laughed.
"I didn't underestimate your abilities, so much as I overestimated the goddamn military," Eddie spoke. He kept glancing at Steve, as though disbelieving his eyes.
"You'd be surprised how far I'd go for a good date, Munson." Steve shot Eddie a wink. Eddie let out a strangled cough.
It surprised Steve how easy flirting with him was once he'd permitted himself. He revelled in the way he'd made Eddie Munson, a fully grown man, blush. Oh, Steve could get used to this. Flirting with Eddie was new and thrilling. How had Steve spent so long not doing it?
'A 'good date,' huh? Laying it on a little thick there, sweetheart. I'm a mediocre date at best," Eddie uttered, picking up the pace.
Steve hung back for a moment, just to watch the way his body moved. If he'd had any doubt he was straight, the thoughts that sprang to his mind as he watched Eddie's body move put a stop to it.
"You'll just have to prove it then," Steve smirked, running to catch up with Eddie, teasingly tugging the bandanna from the back pocket of his jeans as he did so.
He heard Eddie mutter, 'Jesus H. Christ' under his breath.
It wasn't long before the two arrived at the burn site. Steve pulled the flask from his pocket, drenching the wall of strange vine-like growths in kerosene.
"Steve, if this doesn't work..." Eddie began, but Steve held up a hand to stop him. It had to work.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow night at the high school parking lot," Eddie pushed.
"It's going to work."
"We've only got one shot at this tonight. You've got enough lighter fluid for one run out, and I'm not letting you get stuck here with me. If it doesn't work, we'll try something else. We'll work it out."
Steve turned to face Eddie, looking down at the boy's ringed fingers. He wanted to touch them. No one was stopping him. He pulled the boy's hands into his. They were rough and calloused in a way that made Steve's mouth go dry. How the hell hadn't he considered how good a man's hands could feel? Logistically, he knew, but now that he'd allowed himself to consider it, there was a whole world he'd been missing out on.
When Steve looked up from Eddie's hands, he was surprised to meet startled brown eyes. Eddie's gaze shifted over Steve's face, landing on his lips. Please. Steve thought. Please.
"I'm going to kiss you, so if things go south, we both know what we've got to look forward to. Okay?" Steve nodded.
"Okay."
One of Eddie's hands moved to encircle the back of Steve's neck, while the other landed palm down on the side of his face. He hadn't realised Eddie had stubble until he was kissing him. God, it was good. Eddie's rough hands with their gentle touch made Steve weak at the knees. He surged forward, deepening the kiss. One hand trailed down to the small of Eddie's back, and the other settled lower still.
Steve could die in that moment, and he'd die happy.
The sound of distant cars caused the two to spring apart. Steve wanted more. They didn't have time.
"We've gotta go." Eddie nodded.
Steve reached for his lighter and watched as the fire scorched through the vines. He gripped Eddie's hand hard. The hole left was narrow. Steve went first, but as soon as Eddie's hand reached the threshold, Steve felt the resistance. He tugged harder, hoping it would help, but Eddie didn't budge. Steve gazed over his shoulder at the boy and caught his sad smile.
"It's okay, Stevie. We knew it was a long shot."
It wasn't fair. It goddamn wasn't fair.
"I'm not leaving you," Steve insisted.
Eddie squeezed Steve's hand.
"Come back and visit soon, okay?"
Eddie let go of Steve's hand and pushed him out of the Upside Down. He landed with a thud on the familiar ground of Hawkins.
He lay in the dirt, looking up at the stars. The night was silent, not quiet.
Once again, Steve was alone.
