#fizzy writes

[crowned-fizzy]

So I have the song "white winter hymnal" by fleet foxes. Stuck in my head so have this.

"I was put in charge of a team. They all followed me. They followed me through the forests, the battlefields, the snow. I did my best as a leader. These people became more than teammates. They were my brothers. Not just brothers. I loved those men like sons."

"They were lucky to have you as a captain" Nick says, trying to hold in tears. Their captain had been like this for months after surviving being shot in the head. He didn't realize he was talking to his team. They didn't dare tell him either. Because then he'd ask where Dylan was. The didn't have the heart to tell him, that Dyaln died that night. They know their captain. They don't want to see him, blame himself. Because no one blames him. The captain looks proudly at the flag on his dresser. Forgetting what a folded flag means. But he doesn't see the dog tags laying near. The ones labeled Dylan Michael. That Dylan didn't have anyone but the cap. They would let him keep his happiness. That's the least they could do for him.

Dylan had just completed basic. His bushy black tail swishes softly behind him. He was so excited to join a team. To have a pack. He followed the team everywhere. Sniffing out enemies and explosives. Dylan's friends noted how they've never seen him so happy. The captain took Dylan under his wing. After each misson he would scratch Dylan between his fluffy black ears. Dylan loved the captain and saw him as a father. The captain saw Dylan as a son. He would smile proudly after every find Dylan made. The other men would smile warmly watching Dylan's tail wag furiously. The captain would laugh and scowl if anyone had anything to say. Dylan may be a hybrid, but he is the son the captain always wanted.

Dylan was so excited to get to go another misson. Another opportunity to make the captain proud. He stood proudly in his tac vest. Tail wagging as he waited for the captains call. "Alright kid, find em" the captain smiled. "On it dad!" Dylan yelled and took off. The team followed the captain and Dylan. Nick smiled as Dylan started sniffing. Then the crack of a gun sounded. Dylan fell, turning the snow red. The Captain yelled and ran. Another crack and the captain fell. "Austin!! Dylan!!!" The team yelled. Dylan didn't make it. But the captain, Austin. Did. But he doesn't know his son, didn't.

"It's better if he doesn't know..." Nick whispered to the medic.

The doctor talks to Nick and the team. Explaining that Austin's memory is coming back. Against all odds. The captain starts to recognize them. "Nick... my Lieutenant... Wendell..... my sergeant....." Austin whispers. Smiling at them softly, pride in his eyes.

"We have to tell him Nick!" Wendell argues. "His memory is coming back! It's only a matter of time!" He continues. Nick looks away, fists clenched. "That man was like a son! No! Dylan was his his son! That man always wanted a kid. So when that bright eyed 18 year old showed up? That looked up to him such happiness? Of course he took him in! I love Austin! I can't.... I can't do that to him" Nick says, voice cracking. "Nick.... it's only a matter of time that he figures it out. We owe it to him to tell him.." Wendell whispers. Nick's jaw clenches "fine....." Nick says with a sigh.

They walk in with soft smiles and sit beside the bed. "Hey cap..." Nick says. Wendell looks at Nick, smiling softly. Nick swallows and clears his throat. "That day.... you and Dylan were shot. Sniper most likely.." Nick starts and clears his throat again. Austin sits up and notices the folded flag. Nick and Wendell can see it, in Austin's face. Austin stares at the flag and sees the dog tags. "No...... please...... tell me it's not true..... not Dylan.... not my boy...." Austin chokes out. His eyes filled with tears. "Please Nick.... please.... not my boy..... not my boy..... not my Dylan....." Austin sobs. Nick and Wendell hold him as he breaks. "I'm so sorry..... so sorry....." Nick whispers. Tears falling down his own face. "My boy!" Austin yells out. As if cursing the world.

Austin stands at the dresser. Staring at the flag and dog tags. Tears roll down his face. Nick and Wendell stay silent as they stand near. "He was my boy.... I always wanted a kid... the military life never allowed it... but then came Dylan.." Austin says. Talking maybe to himself. He doesn't really know. "I remember the day he showed up on base. He just wanted to do good. All he wanted was to make me proud.. I sent my boy out there.... and he went.. he gave it his all for years... my boy just wanted to make me proud.... his tail always wagged so hard before missons.... my boy's tail didn't quit wagging... I remember.... I saw his body drop.... then his tail stopped.... my boy just wanted to make me proud...." Austin whispers, voice cracking. Fresh tears spill and a quiet sob escapes. "My boy just wanted to make me proud!" Austin yelled.

Austin couldn't bring himself to stop staring at the folded flag. For days, he stared. Nick and Wendell worried. So did the doctors. He stares at the flag like he can will it to be untrue. That if he stared hard enough, Dylan would return. For days, Austin talked and talked about his boy. Nick and Wendell listened. "That kid.... was such a good one.. he never complained ever. He'd do anything for a pat, scratch, or good work. He never questioned whatever I asked of him. He just did it, always.... because he just wanted to make me proud...... he was my boy.... my boy just wanted to make me proud.... I ain't afraid to tell anyone and everyone. About my son..... my boy.... my Dylan..... I got weird looks.... but I didn't care... neither did my boy... his tail still wagged. Never could get that tail of his to stop... it only wagged faster when I laughed.... because my boy just wanted to be loved and make me proud... I'm so proud of my boy.... I always was...." Austin whispers. His chuckle sounding dry. As fresh tears spill.

Against all odds again. Austin returns to active duty. The base feels empty, mass feels lonely, laughter feels far. He passes by Dylan's old room and each time expects to see him or at least his stuff. The first deployment feels wrong. No Dylan with a wagging tail that thumps loudly through the chopper. No ears the twitch and flick in the wind and stick out awkwardly around the headphones. No smile that could beat the sun rays. For the first time in years. Austin doesn't get to see Dylan's tail wag so fast it's a blur. Who is so careful not to let it thump the chopper anymore. As he looks back and stands tall, ready for the word. His captain's call. When he says move out it feels foreign. He got used to saying "Find em kid." So used to hearing "on it dad." Back. It feels different and not the good kind. The kind that settles in your bones and burrows deep. Feeling like it leaves holes everywhere. It feels hollow.

Until the faithful day a new recruit joins. A bright eyed and bushy tailed recruit. With grey fluffy ears and a bushy grey tail. There are black markings along the tail and the right ear is half black. Her tail wags furiously. Happy to have a purpose. Happy to have a pack. It's when she introduces herself to Austin. That Austin realizes, he's not done.... he's got another kid to take care of. One that reminds him of his Dylan.

"Welcome to the team Jamie Dallas..." he smiles softly.

[crowned-fizzy]

Brandon and Clara.

"You said this wouldn't happen....." Clara whispers. Unable to even look at Brandon. "Clar.... hunny... it wasn't supposed to." Brandon offers, stepping closer. Clara puts her hands up and backs away. "No.... don't touch me.." she says, eyes filled with unshed tears. "You promised. I can't even look at you" Clara says, voice cracking. Brandon looks down. "Clara I know I promised. But sometimes these things happen" Brandon says. He doesn't walk further but offers a soft smile. "No! No! Don't you dare! Don't you dare! Go there....." Clara yells as tears start to fall. "You knew this was a risk! But you liked the risk! The thrill! Isn't that right? You're not completely innocent!" Brandon yells back. "Don't you blame me! I-I. Leave me alone Brandon..." Clara says, voice heavy. Just exhausted. Brandon takes this opportunity to embrace her. "This was always a risk. Now you know..." Brandon whispers in her hair. Clara's eyes close tight. "I never wanted this..." she admits to herself. Wishing she could pull away. But she knows she'd come back to him. She always does.

Clara lays in bed next to Brandon. His soft snores fill the silence. She stares at the wall. She can feel Brandon shifting. So she closes her eyes, pretending to sleep. Guilt fills her as she feels Brandon wrap his arm around her. Clara wants to leave. She didn't want this. Brandon can sense the tension. "Baby...... stop your worrying and sleep. Everything is fine...." Brandon says groggy. Clara swallows hard and nods. Forcing herself to forget and sleep. The next morning she still can barely look at Brandon. Brandon sighs and walks over to her. "Look. This won't work. It's a small bump Clar..... don't let this get in your head.." he says, crouching and holding her face to look at him. "You know that head doesn't do good things when you worry" he smiles softly and taps her forehead. Clara looks in his eyes for the first time since yesterday. Those same eyes she fell in love with. "I do tend to over worry" Clara reasons with herself. But deep down there's a little voice. Screaming to be heard. But it's to deep down to be heard. It's saying "this is wrong!" "This is wrong!" "You know this is wrong!"

The feelings just fester. That voice gets louder and louder. So Clara waits until Brandon leaves to run errands. She packs small essentials. Trying to shake off the feeling that she's making a mistake by leaving. She puts the bag on and begins walking. Running seems like the right thing. But it also feels like if she runs she's proving something is wrong. Still battling with whether she's wrong or not. She makes it to a motel paying cash. The clerk can see the tiredness and gives a look of pity. Like they've seen plenty of women who looked just like Clara. Clara sits in the motel room. Checking the locks and breathing. Trying to convince herself everything is fine. Two voices fighting in her head. "We're wrong! This was wrong! We should've never left" and "We needed to leave! We should've left and stayed gone years ago!" Not sure which one to listen to. But clarity comes through the next 3 days. The voice saying she should've left and stayed gone years ago gets louder than the other. Eventually completely drowning it out. That's when Brandon comes in. "Clara baby...." he says, almost sounding comforting. Clara's eyes go wide and she backs up. "I know baby.... I know. It's okay..." he says, smiling softly. He moves closer, "I know sweetheart, it's okay" he says again. Clara wants to turn away, but doesn't. Brandon smiles and moves to caress her face. "It's okay baby.... I know, you didn't mean to... I know.." he whispers, bringing her into him. That voice that once screamed run, sounds so muffled. While the other voice takes over. "See. We should've never ran." It says. With no hesitation, Clara follows Brandon home.

I may write a part 2 to this

[crowned-fizzy]

Welcome to my writing corner.

My page is 18+ only as my writing is often for mature audiences.

Some basic information about me and my page

I go by she/her

I write about a multitude of things. Some sad, some happy, some mixed, some toxic, some a mix of all three, some about healing, some about being broke.

Each character in my writing will be in this post or linked at a later time. Where you can find basic info on them.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Characters and some basic information on them.

Brandon Issac.

A 28 year old male. Brandon is subtly manipulative. He doesn't seem toxic or controlling. By the time anyone realizes, it's to late. He frames his manipulation as love. It's soft and subtle. Just like his controlling behaviors.

Clara Essex.

A 26 year old woman. She is on the naive side. Believes everyone has good in them. She's more than willing to help them find it. She will stay and stay, believing someone can chnage. Even if her instincts scream to leave and stay gone.

More will be added later!

[fizzywashere87]

Hello, Can you create a headcanon for ROTTMNT’s Raph who is secretly in love with a female reader? She is an antisocial, hot-headed, and fearless woman who excels in combat and prefers to solve her problems with her fists. She embodies the typical ‘tough girl’ stereotype, and she has no idea that Raph has feelings for her

WOWOWOW THIS BEEN ROTTING IN MY INBOX I HOPE ITS APPROPRIATE THAT IVE SUDDENLY DECIDED TO AUTHOR AGAIN!!

ur probably not going to see this im sorry i pulled this out with cobwebs attached to it

Summary: badass!scary!reader x rise!raph

Warnings: fem!reader, very poorly written, a whole lot of nothing

Master-list | Pinned Post |

hehe fearless woman pretty woman pretty womannnnnn

yk i think this would lowkey be Big Guy's type

like yes a dainty little s/o would be so cute for him like 'raphie would you tie the bow in my hair for me?' 🥺🎀

but this serves a very different energy and i like i like

like 'raph im gonna step on you'

off the bat, first meeting you'd SMELL the fear stink bruh

youre like intimidating and he's like ten times ur size

yeah maybe he can beat ur ass bc let's be real, are you getting up if he sits on you? no

but it's ur energy that like 'don't fw me energy' is hella powerful

i think you give off dont piss me off and i'll leave u alone so raph is like 'oh yeah she scary'

yes he's hella strong and he does have that Raph Rage™

like you're so standoffish he's like 'yeah i'm not gonna fw prime mike tyson'

obviously upon more meetings raph knows you won't try to kill him so now it's more chill

the first time he sees you in combat he's like whaddafak she's so cool

and ur all like baddass and tough

it'd definitely have to be a friends to lovers trope because he's scared of you lol

does not ever admit that- he will die on that hill

as you guys become friends he learns you're not so mean to the people on your good side

you're a part of the team now

and you teach him how to let go a little and in turn he'll teach you not to let your anger get the complete best of you in battle

its a nice thing that you two have going on

its even better because he understands the anger and stuff and he's learned to chill out a bit for his family's sake so he can teach you

the Mad Dogs might be your only friends but it's okay quality over quantity or sum shit

he realizes he thought you were hot from when you first met and you threatened to beat his ass

that turned into something bigger and more problematic as he became friends with you

you definitely get forced into hanging out with them as Mikey and April force you to hangout with them twice a week MINIMUM

raph gets nervous around you now and obviously it's weird because i thought we were over this?

no

now it's fear stink and love stink ur smelling i made that up who cares

he cannot bring himself to confess even after getting screamed at by Doctor Delicate Touch™ and gently encouraged by Doctor Feelings™

and ur definitely not gonna acknowledge any feelings you have you stupidly emotionally constipated you *annoyingly nudges you*

so yeah u both are kinda cooked

im jk his brothers aren't completely useless

they come up with something that i dont have the creativity to name and this is very long so id like to wrap it up-

but yeah praise the younger ones

you two end up smooching and yes you wear the pants in the relationship

he is malewife ur girlboss

merry christmas to all, to all and goodnight

[fizzyizzysoda]

Chapter 35 bts and notes!

readers beware, you're in for a scare

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44377294/chapters/164979373

There are a TON of literature references in here! I'll list them all below:

1. Japanese death poetry. That Chogo quote is REAL. the whole poem is 'I long for people / then again, I loathe them / end of autumn' and i couldn't find any other poems by this Chogo person so that might be their only one. 2. Emily Dickinson's poem 937 3. Sylvia Plath's poem "Lady Lazarus" 4. Frankenstein ("my form is a filthy type of yours") 5. Julius Caesar (Julius Caesar = Julius, obviously; and Bex = Brutus Rex) Bex is also inspired by Rebecca DeWinter (du Maurier's Rebecca) and Lady Macbeth (Shakespeare's Macbeth). shouldn't b too spoilery 6. The Bible. obviously.

Onto the rest of the notes and BTS:

Rekha's t shirt is inspired by that one kurtis conner video about oddly specific shirts. I was originally going to have it say "never underestimate a man born in january who likes to garden" but decided to cut the last clause because it was just a bit too unwieldy

this chapter is a good 40 pages on google docs and took ten years off my life

the last part I wrote was the very start, when rekha and bakugou talk about the way he acts. it was hard for me to really articulate bakugou's motivations etc, even though i understand them very well implicitly.

i listened to three songs on repeat as i was in the final drafting stages: Eggs in One Basket by Tele Novella, Carpathia by Tele Novella, and BIBBIDIBA by Hoshimachi Suisei

the clatter Julius attributes to being a cat is actually Kirishima fumbling with the night vision goggles. I understand the chronology is a bit off based on how it's placed, but just know that that all happens BEFORE Mt Lady wrecks the warehouse with her truck shoe.

that bit about the school bus is inspired by this one winter evening when i was in kindergarten. throughout elementary i had this awful habit of falling asleep on the bus and making the bus driver wait for me to get off. on that day, i was straight conked out into the nighttime, i'd missed my stop and only woke up much further along the route, but naturally as a kindergartener i didn't have any idea what to do. thankfully a bunch of 8th graders called my babysitter to pick me up and i was returned home safe! i don't recall freaking out all that much, i might've been too tired to. anyways, I hope all those guys are doing well now.

the reason this chapter took so long to come out is bc i was in uni (sobs) and finding the time to consult canon was surprisingly difficult?? i was doing a lot of writing on my phone before my english lectures.

also another part of why it took so long to come out is because i was reading Robinson Crusoe and that book NEGATIVELY IMPACTED MY WRITING so i had to reread You Too Can Have a Body Like Mine to rescue it. That bit with the nomu factory is most heavily inspired by YTCHABLM.

ren is wearing a cravat in this chapter. no one really WANTS to know that but i feel like you all NEED to.

i changed up some of the canon dialogue a bit, mostly the monologues that sound stilted in the translations (i.e. shigaraki, the press conference, etc). part of the stiltedness, to me, comes from the fact that the monologues themselves need to be restructured so they make more logical sense. so i did that. then i just made the words themselves sound more natural.

it was a huge internal debate for me trying to figure out if i should or shouldn't have rekha do her deductions regarding the Nomu in this chapter, but i ended up doing so bc in a white room, what else are you gonna do but theorise?

are julius and bex fucking. yeah. also no.

bakugou's "i am beneath nobody' is admittedly ripped from a rlly good Brennan Lee Mulligan monologye from Exandria Unlimited: Calamity. I'm sorry guys i;m so uncreative sobs.

there was a bit i added in the press conference section that i'm really proud of: 'The reporter raised his brows. “So the incompetency on the parts of the adults involved can be excused because the children were forced to compensate?"'

i entered a fugue state and played west of loathing almost entirely in a night, hence that line about the tumbleweed haha

that's all! pls enjoy the chapterrr give it a kudos and comment smash that like button hit that bell etc

[fizzyizzysoda]

Hey squad so MI chap coming next month bc all this month is working on a portfolio 😭😭 in the mean time here is an excerpt from an upcoming WIP!!

[fizzyizzysoda]

Chapter 34: Diving Woman (BTS and notes!)

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Title comes from the Japanese Breakfast song “Diving Woman”, which is very much summer vibes and sadness to me

I wrote this partially to cope with the stress of getting my ATAR back only for it to actually be really good??!!

A lot of the references to the death haikus come from real actual Japanese haikus that poets wrote just before they died! My main source of inspiration was Yoel Hoffman’s “Japanese Death Poems”, which is a really enlightening read I highly recommend :)

I cannot remember for the life of me where I read it but I was thinking about how parents of children who died would have to clean out their child’s locker and collect their belongings; hence Rekha’s decision at the start to do a mass clean up. She doesn’t want her parents to have to deal with what she’s left behind

Perhaps you’ll notice the parallels here between Bakugou’s first bit of dialogue in this chapter and what he said in the forest?

A huge inspiration for this chapter was the BNHA fic “The Seats at the Table Are Full” which I HIGHLY recommend; it’s an amazing bit of worldbuilding that imo is super underrated :)

Another big inspiration was Mieko Kawakami’s novel Heaven, which is such a heart wrenching story. Definitely read it if you have the chance!

That’s all that I can think of, I hope you enjoy the chapter !!!

[fizzywashere87]

A Snowman's Hypothermia

I love the cold

I love the cold that makes my bones rattle

I love the cold that replaces my core with a hollow

I love the cold that makes my hairs stand up on their ends

I love the cold that rattles my teeth in an ever lasting chatter

I love the cold that hurts A hurt I welcome A hurt that comforts

I love the cold that reaches me in my slumber

I love the cold that reaches me under my blankets and layers

I love the cold that turns my fingernails and my lips cold colors

I love the cold that makes my eyes burn

I love the cold that makes everyone around me sad and sorrowful A sorrow I welcome A sorrow that resides within myself

I love the cold that takes from my soul as it flows by

I love the cold that brings a hollow and dull pain to my soul The only pain I welcome The only pain that comforts

I love the cold that dresses everyone plain and dull colors

I love the icicles that form upon my own body from the cold As if I am one with the cold As if the cold is me

I love the cold that bites at my hands and feet

I love the cold that detaches my ears from my cheeks, my cheeks from my nose

I love the cold that my mother urges me to protect myself from I never heed these warnings I walk out unprotected from the cold regardless

I love the cold that brings involuntary shivers and shackles to my entire being

I love the cold that causes tremors in my hands The tremors that render my hands useless for a while The tremors that run to the hollow of my chest

I love the cold that makes my nose run

I love the cold that disguises itself as warmth The warmth I start to think I finally found The warmth that will only ever be the cold that takes and takes

I love the cold that holds my heart and leaves another crack as it leaves

I love the cold that leaves me at a standstill, an ever lasting halt

I love the cold and the feel of my energy slipping from my fingertips My thermal and kinetic energy slipping to the cold My entire being slipping and succumbing to the cold

I love the cold and the gifts it brings

I love the cold