Hi! I’m Dyl, I'm Jewish, I like Avatar, I love research deep dives, and more than anything… @nattikay dared me to try and figure this out with a little do it emoji.
(Fair warning, it will be long, I’ll have a tl;dr at the end, and a read more below) If y’all disagree with my takes, please go ahead, and say it too! I mean that genuinely, debate and discussion is important :D
Anyways.
First matter? Can you keep kosher on a different planet… at all? Astronauts keeping kosher has already been an issue, since in order to package the food, it’d be contaminated in an unclean environment.
As with most Jewish debates, this gets… complicated. Some say that yes, not only is there other life, they could be “Jews”, if in a translated form. Some say that if it wasn’t mentioned in the Torah, including alien food, why not, others say that we should only stick to what IS indeed clearly mentioned. However, some say that even if you do somehow acquire an alien animal, A, it’d still have to follow kosher law, and B, sentience becomes an issue. How do you know if you’re eating something or someone, when neither looks like you at all? People are wrong to eat not because they’re not kosher but because… they’re people! This also then becomes a bigger issue courtesy of Eywa, if EVERYTHING is truly connected to that neural net, the sentience problem becomes even bigger. But… let’s say we get around that part. Many would say we’re left with two key routes, everything is kosher, because we have no laws against it technically, or that nothing is kosher, since then we have no laws FOR IT. However, let’s take a third route, namely.
Can we attempt to sort Pandora via kosher regulations? For those hypothetical kashrut dreamwalkers?
I’M GOING TO FUCKING TRY (you’ll pick up on the rules as we go) (putting a read more to not be a dick, again, there's a tl;dr at the bottom) Here is a list of as much fauna as I could think of and if its kosher
Stupid Amount of Fauna listed! Because Why Not!
- Arachnoid
- Not really edible regardless, but bugs also aren’t kosher! So knock that off the list!
- Glow Worms
- Bug again! No!
- Anemonoid
- For marine life to be kosher, you need fins and scales. This doesn’t have that
- Tetrapteron
- We’re getting closer! It’s a ...bird? at least!
- However birds of prey aren’t kosher, and we’re likely looking FOR birds with “extra” toes, crops, and / or gizzards
- Birds of prey include birds that “dores”. Which… is gonna make your Pandoran Poultry choices rough, especially since this includes a) a bird that seizes its food with its claws and lifts it off the ground to its mouth. b) a bird that holds down its prey with its claws and breaks off small pieces to eat. c) a bird that hits its prey with its feet and ingests its prey while it is still alive, d) a bird that pounces on its prey with its claws, and e) a bird that injects a sort of venom into its prey.
- And the nail in the coffin? This thing parts its toes. It’s not kosher.
- Ikran
You’re fucking with me. Either this thing is a reptile, so it’s NOT kosher, or it’s a bird of prey. Also, why the fuck would you even attempt to eat that?!
Toruk is in the same vein, before anyone even thinks to ask
Dinicthoid
FISH
It has fins… scales are debatable. I wouldn’t say so. Also No.
Direhorse
Horses aren’t kosher, off the bat. But also. Mammals need split hooves and to chew their cud. This does neither
Kenten / Fan Lizard
Reptile! No!
‘Angtsìk / Hammerhead Titanothere
Ungulate was promising! Lack of hooves… no.
Hellfire wasp
Again, fuck you. But also. Bug. So no.
Yerik
So. Deer are kosher, good start
This is honestly the most promising, since it looks like it has cloven hooves... but I can’t confirm jackshit because I don’t know how many stomachs or if it chews cud. But I need a win, so we’re putting this as a maybe. Yerik has potential!
Medusa
This is… an odd one? Jellyfish aren’t kosher, but this technically isn’t a SEA creature. So. Up in the air, like the medusa itself. However, it’s not kosher by virtue of You Can’t Eat It
Prolemuris
Doesn’t meet the mammal meat rules!
Slinger
No! Mammal rules!
Stingbat
DO YOU NEED ME TO SAY IT AGAIN! MAMMAL RULES! NO!
Sturmbeast
… Wait.
It’s cow adjacent.
It looks like it has hooves.
I can’t confirm on stomach but hey holy fuck, this and yerik so far are potential, beyond Lack of Stomach and Cud Chewing Knowledge. It has potential!!!
Teylu
Doesn’t matter if it’s grandma’s teylu, it’s a bug. Not kosher.
Thanator
Fuck you. Come on.
Viperwolf
DUDE. WHY.
Now this has been mostly forest based… I didn’t forget the Reef in this though!
Warning: The rule of scales needed? Is a major pain here. I'm gonna be saying it A TON
Ilu
Marine mammals not kosher, fits neither the fish nor mammal rules!
Also! Why???
Skimwing
Again! Why! But I don’t think it has scales so… ixnay
Glider fin
No scales! Looks like a damn catfish… (not kosher)
Hammerbrow
SCALES
Pincerfish
Could be looking at it wrong… doesn’t have scales
Feathertail fish
MA EYWA, THIS BITCH HAS SCALES!
…. Oh what’s that? What’s that visual dictionary?
… Ma Eywa. WHY. Okay, FUCK THAT I GUESS! NOT FEATHERTAIL!
Flat skate fish
Skates aren’t kosher, and this thing doesn’t seem to have scales
… None of the ones already ruled out. Also no cuirass crab, no fanged mongrel, none of the squids, no turtapede, Capra hooves are hard to discern but even then, we’re left vague. No Sagittarius. Ironically… saberHOGS, if they chew their cud, aren’t scavengers like pigs, and if I’m correct on those hooves being split… could be? Absolutely no slinth, spade wing seems to not have full scales so no, the starbeak… I actually can’t tell if it has scales or not but PROBABLY NOT, the steervane seems like it could be IF It chews its cud which I CANNOT TELL, soundbeast colossus looks like a reptile so NO. No zakru,
Fascinatingly, there is a creature which IS eaten by humans at Hell’s Gate, namely tapirus? But HEY! NO HOOVES, NO KOSHER, BACK OF THE LINE!
Worse… GETTING the meat. While the Jews and the Na’vi agree that animals should be handled… well I can’t say “humanely” but you know what I mean, in Judaism hunting hasn’t been permitted for MILLENIA (though again, lots of debate there) and animals not properly slaughtered? WOULD BE RENDERED TREYF (not-kosher) ((debated again, we do that a lot)). Which is going to make things difficult since most na’vi clans don’t have a shochet (kosher slaughterer). Even if you theoretically could have your Tsahìk sub in to theoretically perform Shechita (in which a very long, very sharp knife slices through the soft tissue of the neck without hitting the spinal cord in cattle, and in poultry the non-dominant hand holds the bird to pull the head back and expose the neck to do the same)… how’re you going to do that on the hunt??? Because if the animal is shot? TREYF. Also blood is an issue! You have to remove the blood, since blood can’t be eaten! HOW???
(… wait, people who have seen fire and ash, I just made an awful connection on that neck thing and the new movie, PLEASE tell me I’m not alone. If you know you know…)
Granted, while there is the case to be made of pikuach nefesh, saving a soul, that if one truly needs to eat treyf meet to live, such as for a nutritional concern, then you’d eat it.
(Fun fact: Jake Sully would probably love pikuach nefesh, since its a very similar logic to what he uses in regards to Eywa’s rules, namely that living and breaking a rule is more important than dying having upheld them)
(Second fun fact: My Hebrew school teacher taught us this with the example of “If a man breaks into your house, and you are a good jew, so you keep kosher, and he has a gun at your head but says he will let you live if you eat pork… you eat the damn pork and live, kosher or not.)
But that’s just meat, and like a miracle… to my relief! I don’t need to do flora! Why, you ask?
ALL PRODUCE IS KOSHER (so long as all insects are removed). So! If it won’t kill you on Pandora? Mazel tov, going veggie seems to be your stronger option! So Omatikaya fruit baskets, mushroom steak, etc? No bugs, you’re good!
(Milk’s not really a concern from what I’ve seen it’s not really used much on Pandora, though if eggs have to come from kosher birds, with a white yolk, so you can probably give up on your omelettes out there)
Again, many would say this still isn’t right! Some will say all are kosher due to the lack of rules against, others will say it’s NOT kosher for the same reason, this is just my random approximation.
Tl;dr: IF you were in the Avatar program, a dreamwalker out there, and were trying to maintain frum even out there with the clans… stick to the plants. Just ask your local tsahìk what’s least likely to kill you…
HEY YALL WANT SOURCES??? HAVE SOME SOURCES (for the judaism theory, the rest came from the visual dictionary, activist guide, and avatar wiki)
I…just don’t know how to better expound upon the question, beyond the title. (Chalk it up to a personal failing, or the lateness of the hou
Also! Some rabbis who like avatar as well, and have some interesting ideas, should y’all want to see
https://aish.com/83524437/
https://blog.rabbijason.com/2010/02/how-jewish-is-avatar.html
https://themodernrabbi.com/tag/avatar/
Mini bonus for those who got this far! If Quaritch's burger has cheese, it's not kosher :P
Black fabric waves back at her. Taunting. The green and blue mermaid seems to swim and flirt in the wind, casting her magic over the waves and drawing in her prey. It’s a good distraction. The Sea Witch is clever like that - hiding the skull and crossbones in plain sight next to tempting beauty. But black was for the damned. Black was for pirates. And there was no question which pirate.
“Perhaps we should just wrap you up in a bow,” Seiya continues. He stretches and pats the twin pistols at his side. “Drop you in a dingy and save ourselves the trouble and humiliation for the…” he trails off, tilting his head in thought. “How many times has it been now?”
“Four in the last six months, sir.” The aggravated tick in Haruka’s left eyebrow starts up again at the passing sailor’s tally.
maverick holds the car door open. offers his hand and guides her out into a storm of cameras. click, flash-- little lightning strikes of light. he turns his head to the left (it’s his best side), resting his palm on nari’s lower back. the press of his fingers is delicate-- a light brush, a little pressure, just enough to anchor her to him as they glide into the art gallery.
he knows she doesn’t like to be touched. as soon as the glass doors swish shut, the rabble of noise outside cut clean and replaced with the tinkling keys of a piano, hushed conversation-- maverick withdraws his hand and tucks it into the pocket of his slacks. the theme of the evening is nisshoki, and his designer had dressed him in merlot. his dress shirt is black, his shoes like glass, catching the light.
“you should have warned me you were getting dolled up, love. palpitations aren’t good for the heart.“ his voice is lowered. hushed. just for her-- but people are always listening. and while their decision to feign intimacy and fabricate a relationship was entirely business, a temporary arrangement to boost stocks, mav is (and always will be) an opportunist. what’s the harm in a little pleasure while they played their game?
